


hold onto me, 'cause i'm a little unsteady

by dreamsailing



Series: and i love you, forever and a day [1]
Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Ambiguous Relationships, Angst, Denial of Feelings, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slow Burn, side pairings to come
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2018-12-08 20:34:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 47,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11654232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamsailing/pseuds/dreamsailing
Summary: Seongwoo forms a habit of kissing Minhyun but wasn’t ready for the onslaught of feelings that later came with it. Things get complicated when you’re best friends, but even more so when one of you is already involved with another.





	1. backfire

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to this mess.

It was supposed to be a joke.

A joke on Minhyun’s up-tightness.

His best friend hasn’t dated in, _what_ , two years? And Seongwoo, being the _great_ friend that he is, just wanted to __help__.

Well, he might have offered a _different_ kind of help, but knowing Minhyun, Seongwoo never thought the former will bite on his offer.

Seongwoo should’ve been careful with his words, shouldn’t have pushed the teasing way too far because now, now he’s the one who had to bite back on his words.

Minhyun’s lips against his are soft, moving languidly across his unresponsive ones. There’s a warm hand cupping his nape and his best friend brings him closer, kisses him harder and Seongwoo’s heart shouldn’t be beating this hard against his rib cage, he shouldn’t be feeling anything because _goddamnit this is his best friend_  and _damnit this was supposed to be a joke_. But Seongwoo's thoughts crumble when he feels a tongue swiping over his lower lip. He squeaks and jumps a little on his seat, causing Minhyun to pull away.

The hand previously on his nape moves to cradle his cheek and Seongwoo thinks the way Minhyun stares at him is too intimate, making him want to squirm in his seat. But then Minhyun opens his mouth to laugh, a teasing laugh, and all the bubble of intimacy Seongwoo thought bursts all over the place.

“You look so mortified like it’s the first time you’ve got another tongue in your mouth.” Minhyun moves farther away, hand slipping off Seongwoo’s cheek to retrieve the book he was previously reading now lying on the carpeted floor. He settles himself against the armrest, picking from where he left off while Seongwoo’s left blinking like a goldfish on the other end of the couch, mind still not processing what just happened.

“Wha,” Seongwoo manages when his mind finally clears a little, “What was that?”

Minhyun stares at him over his book, “We kissed?”

“I know we kissed! But why did you do it?” He slaps Minhyun’s leg and the other whines in pain, retracting his leg away from Seongwoo.

“What?” His best friend looks at him, incredulous, massaging the part where he just got hit. “You’re the one who offered.”

“But it was supposed to be a joke!” His voice cracks a little on the end. His throat constricts, from embarrassment or mortification, he doesn’t know. “God, this is so weird. I just kissed my best friend.” He starts nipping on his nails, a habit he wasn’t able to do away with since childhood.

Minhyun looks at him distastefully before whacking his hand away with the book, “Stop doing that. And don’t worry, friends kiss, sometimes.” He gets up from the sofa and pads to their kitchen, opening the fridge to fetch a beer for himself from their supply.

Seongwoo snorts, “On the lips? Doubt it. Could you even imagine Sungwoon and Jaehwan kissing?”

Minhyun hums by the dining table, thinking. The beer makes a sizzling sound when it’s opened and Seongwoo feels his own mouth go dry.

“Maybe? We don’t know.”

Seongwoo's face scrunches, mental images of Sungwoon and Jaehwan kissing suddenly flooding his mind. _Ew, no._ He swats his hand over the imaginary bubbles hovering his head, goosebumps ghosting on his arms. Nope, best friends _definitely_  shouldn’t kiss each other.

“Nope, nope. That’s just—no.” He shakes his head and trails to the kitchen. A cold, good beer could help him clear his mind.

“You said that like it’s so repulsive when we just kissed a minute ago.”

Seongwoo raises a hand, palm open towards Minhyun, “First, it was a joke, okay? I never thought you’d give in because you’re such a prude. Second, lets forget about it. It’s just weird.” He tips his head back to take a gulp on his beer.

“Excuse me? Me, a prude?” Minhyun huffs and rolls his eyes at the other, “But congrats, your joke finally backfired on you.”

Seongwoo wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, slamming the almost empty can down their wooden dining table. “It did not! You just played on me!”

“Uh-huh, whatever makes you sleep at night.” Minhyun drawls and Seongwoo begins to think he's starting to hate him.

Seongwoo is never flustered. The word didn’t even exist in his dictionary until today and he hates that he’s feeling exactly like it. Worse, his nightmare of a best friend is the cause behind it.

Minhyun tosses his empty can on the bin and walks to the direction of their bedrooms, leaving a still indignant Seongwoo in the kitchen.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell Daniel about it,” he looks back just when he stops before his bedroom door, “it could be our secret.” He winks before he disappears to his bedroom.

He winked.

 

That bastard.

He looks ugly when he winks, why does he even do it? No wonder no one’s dating him right now. That loser.

 

Seongwoo needs a new best friend.

 

He finishes his beer quickly and trudges to his room, making sure to slam his door hard just to irk Minhyun. He knows how the other hates it. He smirks triumphantly to himself.

 

He turns on his study lamp before he dumps himself on his swivel chair. He’ll just work on school stuff to get his mind off things.

Before he can even reach for his book, he feels his phone vibrate on his pocket. He quickly fishes it out and rolls his eyes when he sees the sender.

 

****emperor ugly** **

u’ll be the one to pay for repair costs when our doors finally break.

 

****insufferable** **

psh, theyre sturdy

 

****emperor ugly** **

not when you always bang them loudly

 

****emperor ugly** **

o wait that somehow sounded wrong

 

****emperor ugly** **

but yeah u get the point

****

****insufferable** **

you and your perverted mind

****

****insufferable** **

no wonder ur still single after jonghyun

****

****emperor ugly** **

shut up

****

****emperor ugly** **

dont bring him up

****

****insufferable** **

ooooops

****

****insufferable** **

still sensitive over the topic I see

****

****emperor ugly** **

whatever. shut up

****

****insufferable** **

awee does minhyunie still has an owie in his kokoro?

****

****emperor ugly** **

stop it if u don’t want me rearing your door down and murdering u

****

****emperor ugly** **

and who even still says kokoro? stop watching anime u nerd

****

****insufferable** **

says the one who watches prince of tennis every school break without a fail

****

****emperor ugly** **

shut up, syusuke fuji is cool

****

****insufferable** **

well, gotta agree with u with that one

****

****insufferable** **

but rly bro

****

****insufferable** **

i worry about u

****

****emperor ugly** **

psh, ong seongwoo worrying over another human other than himself? thats a miracle

****

****insufferable** **

u ugly would u just

****

****insufferable** **

believe me for a sec

****

****insufferable** **

jokes aside, thats why I made that //ofer//

****

****insufferable** **

i don’t want to see my bestfriend dying from loneliness

****

****insufferable** **

cos, its been, what? 2 yrs after jonghyun?

****

****insufferable** **

oh sorry, must not speak his name

****

****insufferable** **

but yeah

****

****emperor ugly** **

hmm

****

****emperor ugly** **

thanks but

****

****emperor ugly** **

no thanks

****

****emperor ugly** **

still no

****

****emperor ugly** **

cant take an advice srsly from someone who cant even kiss well

****

****emperor ugly** **

and u think ure in some position to give me love advices?

****

****emperor ugly** **

hAH

****

****insufferable** **

what the fuck hwang

****

****insufferable** **

i was being serious here

****

****insufferable** **

and drop the kiss topic, im still cringing over that

****

****emperor ugly** **

i wonder how daniel deals with u, u kiss like a dead fish

****

****insufferable** **

wtf, shut up

****

****insufferable** **

but news flash, I kiss great. just not with u

****

****emperor ugly** **

aw why? does kissing me make u nervous?

****

****insufferable** **

what the actual fuck?????????????

 

****insufferable** **

sHUT UP

****

****emperor ugly** **

now I’ll be the one to make an offer

****

****emperor ugly** **

u can come to me if u want to practice ;)

****

****insufferable** **

OKAY, I CANT TAKE THIS

****

****insufferable** **

i think i damaged my brain too much from talking to u

****

****insufferable** **

bye

****

****emperor ugly** **

HAHAHAHAHAA

****

****emperor ugly** **

finally won over ong seongwoo!!!

****

****emperor ugly** **

yohooooooo

****

****insufferable** **

ur insufferable

****

****emperor ugly** **

oh? did u just call urself?

****

****insufferable** **

im out hwang go fuck urself

****

****emperor ugly** **

nah, I can have u to do that ryt?

****

****emperor ugly** **

lmao joking

****

****emperor ugly** **

or not

****

****emperor ugly** **

okay bye dream of kissing me again tonight.

****

****

Seongwoo’s brain hurts. Maybe he’s really damaged it. Damnit, when did Minhyun learn to talk back like that? (Well, if you’re friends with Ong Seongwoo, his personality’s bound to rub on you over the years. Minhyun’s just one of the people he’s contaminated).

He goes over the last message sent to him and he cringes again, little bolts of electricity coursing through his entire body.

 

_Dream of kissing him? The fuck? Why would I kiss him again? I’d never kiss him again._

 

Seongwoo buries his face in his hands. He curses when he feels his face heating up, he probably looks like a tomato now.

 

But Minhyun’s lips tasted like marshmallows against his earlier. Soft, sweet, and addictive.

 

He groans. Why is he even thinking about such things?

He really needs a new best friend, and maybe get his brain bleached.


	2. marshmallows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seongwoo craves for marshmallows and tries to help get Minhyun's mind off of things.

Seongwoo had a nightmare.

Well, he’s not exactly sure if it’s a nightmare, but he’s got a hunch on what triggered it so he’s labeling it as a nightmare.

He dreamt of being chased down by towering marshmallows. Marshmallows _with leg _s__  running after his dear life.

Seongwoo’s almost sure he could feel the sweat running down his back and his legs running out of energy to outrun the squishy monsters, and alas, dream-Seongwoo’s legs did give up and seconds later he’s being consumed by pillowy softness.

It wasn’t that bad— _t_ _hey’re marshmallows after all—_ but not until he’s woken up by a whack on the face with something not so squishy at all. He opens his eyes blearily and is greeted with the face that triggered his nightmare just centimeters away from his own.

“Finally.” Minhyun grumbles as he throws the pillow he’s used to smack Seongwoo awake back on the bed, his face still bloated from sleep and hair sticking everywhere. "Your goddamn alarm has been ringing for the past three minutes, I had to come here to turn it off myself.”

“And unnecessarily slap me awake with a pillow?” Seongwoo replies, disoriented. He pushes Minhyun’s face away with much force, causing the other to tumble back on the bed.

“Thought you were on comatose , you didn't budge at all.” Minhyun curls on Seongwoo’s sheets as if it’s his own and unabashedly settles himself across it when the latter vacates his space.

Seongwoo grumbles at the sight, “Go back to your own room, you’re gonna get your ugly germs on my sheets.”

He gets a loud fake snore as a response and Seongwoo just rolls his eyes. It’s too early to argue with Minhyun, he’s got no energy for it.

 

 

 

When he pads to the kitchen fresh from shower and all dressed up, Minhyun’s already there sipping on a cup of coffee. Minhyun squints at him over his mug and eyes him up and down, judging.

Seongwoo squints back at him and goes to fix himself his morning coffee, bumping Minhyun away from the coffeemaker with his hips.

“Why are you wearing my shirt, again?”

Seongwoo looks down on what he’s wearing and belatedly realizes that _it is_  Minhyun’s shirt. How did it get to his closet?

 _Oh—_ wait, he looks down on the shirt again—he’s worn this shirt once already. Only then did he sheepishly realize he wasn’t able to return it to Minhyun the first time.

But no, Ong Seongwoo wouldn’t embarrassingly admit his mistake to anyone, especially to his prick of a best friend.

“You should just give this to me. I’ve worn it twice already, contaminated it with my handsome germs and all.” He reasons swiftly, lifting his mug of freshly brewed coffee to his lips and feeling his soul awaken with just the aroma. How would he survive without caffeine, honestly.

“You’ll have to pay me. I won’t give it to you for free.” Minhyun answers, walking to pick up the daily morning paper and read it by the couch.

Seongwoo sometimes wonder if they’re really the same age or if Minhyun’s just a grandpa trapped in a twenty-three year old body. Most times, he honestly thinks it’s the latter.

“What kind of best friend makes their best friend pay for a shirt he could just give out of a hundred he probably has?”

“A shitty one,” Minhyun replies nonchalantly, eyes not leaving the newspaper, “for an equally shitty best friend.”

“I hate you.” Seongwoo says through gritted teeth, placing his still half-full mug on the table. His eyes lands on the wall clock and he scrambles back to his room to retrieve his things.

“Not having breakfast?” Minhyun asks while Seongwoo struggles to wear his shoes by the door.

“I have to meet Sungwoon before class so I have to be early.” He stands from his previous crouched position and aims for the door.

“Oh, okay,” Minhyun finally lifts his eyes from his reading and spares him a glance before he’s out of the door, “and yeah, love you too, babe.”

“Gross!” He makes sure to slam the door hard behind him.

Repair costs be damned. Despite being a clean freak, Minhyun can be damn gross sometimes.

 

 

* * *

 

“You’re a lifesaver.” Seongwoo’s eyebrow nearly arches with Sungwoon’s almost moan as he reaches for Seongwoo’s notes.

They settle on the bench with Sungwoon immediately scrambling to scan the notes. They’ve got a quiz on their shared media strategies subject and Seongwoo looks over pitifully at his friend who’s trying to ingest as much information as he can twenty minutes before class starts.

“Why were you even absent last Friday? You didn’t even text.”

“Jaehwan was sick,” Sungwoon answers, “was busy taking care of all that whining.”

“Ah,” so that explains why Sungwoon looks so tired. He normally has the perfect skin among their circle but today Seongwoo can pick at the unusual dark circles under the other’s eyes. He must’ve dealt with a lot of whining. “But is he okay now?”

“Yeah, and oh that reminds me, I’ll come in late later at the cafe. I'll have to drop some things for Jaehwan at Sewoon’s first.”

“At Sewoon’s?”

”Yeah, Jaehwan’s staying there overnight. Ditching me right after I took care of him just this weekend.” Sungwoon says, irritation evident in his voice and the way his brows knit.

Seongwoo hums, interested. “Are they dating already?”

With the question, Sungwoon visibly stills, his thumb hovering over the leaf he’s currently reading.

Seongwoo examines his friend, catches the way Sungwoon’s chest heave as he exhales like he’s trying to calm himself.

“No, no they’re not. At least, not yet.” Sungwoon replies, murmuring the latter part of his answer as if he’s assuring himself.

The cogs in Seongwoo’s mind instantly click. With the way Sungwoon is acting, he could possibly be _—_ "Sungwoon, are you in lo _—_ ”

There’s a smooch planted on his cheek before he finishes his question, catching him off guard. He raises his head to see the culprit and is greeted by Daniel’s toothy smile. The boy smiles too much, even so early in the day. Seongwoo’s convinced Daniel’s smile could rival the brightness of the sun. Equally blinding.

Daniel sits beside him, thigh touching Seongwoo’s as he pushes against the latter’s hands a paper bag.

“Breakfast,” he replies to Seongwoo’s questioning stare, “Minhyun hyung texted me you haven’t had breakfast.”

Seongwoo responds with an _oh_  before peering inside the bag, “Muffins! My favorite! Thanks, Dan.”

“Of course,” Daniel gives him a soft smile, the one he reserves exclusively for Seongwoo, “anything for you.”

Seongwoo’s body doesn’t react when Daniel wraps an arm around his waist, having been too accustomed with the action over the course of months. Daniel perches his chin on Seongwoo’s shoulder as the latter starts to munch on his muffin, the former looking like an absolute lovesick puppy (which he literally is).

Sungwoon clears his throat and the two are brought out of their bubble. Daniel reluctantly detaches himself from Seongwoo, bottom lip jutting in a pout.

“You’ve got classes in fifteen minutes, right? You should go now.” Seongwoo says while consolingly patting Daniel’s cheek.  

“Okay,” Daniel concedes obediently. He rises from his seat but doesn't leave before planting another quick kiss on Songwoo's cheek. The warmth of the kiss lingers even after Daniel’s left to sprint across the campus/

Seongwoo’s eyes follow the younger until he’s brought out of his reverie with Sungwoon giving him back his notes. There’s a dopey look on his friend’s face and a shit-eating grin on his lips.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Sungwoon answers, still grinning. “Must be nice to have a boyfriend.”

Seongwoo lets out an exasperated sigh, meeting Sungwoon’s teasing stare with dead eyes. “How many times do I have to tell you guys me and Daniel aren’t a thing?”

“Yeah sure,” Sungwoon replies, waving his hand dismissively at Seongwoo. “And you expect us to believe that when you guys act disgustingly sweet to each other all the time?”

Seongwoo groans, chomping on his muffin with an excessive force. He’s tired of repeating the same thing over and over.

“But it’s the truth, we’re not dating. Daniel and I are just,” he searches for the right word in his mind, “convenient. Yeah, convenient. We aren’t even exclusive.”

“Uh-huh,” Sungwoon rolls his eyes, pitching his backpack when he stands from his spot on the bench, “but does Daniel know that?”

Seongwoo follows, rounding the bench to join Sungwoon’s side as they walk towards the Arts building. “Of course. He should. He should know that himself, right?”

"I don’t know,” Sungwoon shrugs. “Better make it clear, Seongwoo, before one of you gets hurt.”

The bell rings just before Seongwoo could retort and they sprint to reach their classroom. Seongwoo doesn’t have the time to dwell on Sungwoon’s words, so he decides to push it at the back of his mind for the time being.

 

* * *

 

When he gets home after his shift at the cafe, he’s met with the sight of Minhyun wrapped in a blanket sitting on the couch, eating ice cream from a tub and stacks of pillows surrounding him. His eyes are dead set on whatever is playing on the tv, but Seongwoo sees through the other to know Minhyun’s not paying attention to whatever's playing.

Something is definitely wrong.

Minhyun is only like this in two situations. _One,_ when he’s failed an important test, and; _Two_ , when he got his heart broken, which was two years ago.

Seongwoo searches his mind and comes with nothing. Midterms aren’t until the end of the month and Minhyun hasn’t ranted about blasted courses sucking the life out of him lately, so he’s left with situation two.

But how is situation two even possible at this moment?

He approaches the sofa quietly, discarding a few pillows to the floor to make a space for himself beside Minhyun. He takes the tub from his best friend’s hands and the other doesn’t even register it, eyes still blankly staring ahead with his now empty hands still hovering in air.

“What’s wrong?”

Seongwoo’s voice seems to have taken back Minhyun to reality, his shoulders bouncing in surprise as he turns to meet Seongwoo’s worried gaze.   

“Oh, you’re here.”

“I always close the door loudly but you didn’t notice it today, so, what’s up?” He turns to face Minhyun but the other slightly turns to his other side, “Nothing’s wrong.”

“Ya, Hwang Minhyun.” He reaches for the other’s shoulder and carefully turns him around. “You know you can’t lie to me. So spill it.”

Minhyun sighs, giving in. He knows for a fact he can never keep a thing from his nosy best friend. “Minki sent me a text earlier.”

Seongwoo hums and nods encouragingly, watches while Minhyun threads his fingers through his hair repeatedly. A habit he does whenever he’s uneasy.

“Jonghyun’s coming back to Seoul.”

 

Seongwoo straightens on his seat. After years of having no news from Jonghyun, he’s finally coming back?

His eyes settle back on his best friend who’s now got his chin perched on his hand, expression unreadable.

 

_Is he still hung up on Jonghyun? Hasn’t he moved on?_

 

“No, I’m not. I’ve moved on.” Minhyun answers and Seongwoo realizes he’s spoken those words out loud. Damn his uncoordinated brain and tongue.

“So, uh, what’s got you down?”

“I’m not down, I’m just,” Minhyun sighs heavily again, a hand coming up to rub at his face, “It’s just weird, you know? The possibility of meeting him again after all of that. And to think we weren’t really able to have a closure.”

“You don’t have to run into him.” Seongwoo reasons beside him. As much as he still considers Jonghyun a friend, he doesn’t want to risk seeing his best friend at the same state back when said friend left him two years ago. It was too painful to watch. It was painful to see Minhyun pick himself up for long, dragging months.

“That’s kind of impossible when you’ve got the same circle of friends.” Minhyun laughs lowly.

“Well,” Seongwoo scrambles for a reason, eyes darting in every corner of the apartment. He can’t let Minhyun wallow in sadness again when he knows Minhyun has worked hard for years to build himself again, “we could just, uh, we could just stay cooped up here and avoid everyone.”

With this, Minhyun laughs, a genuine laugh complete with his signature eye crinkling and mouth hanging wide open. Seongwoo’s heart is instantly flooded with relief. He doesn’t say it aloud but his best friend’s happiness is one of those at the top of his priority list.

“Thanks, babe.” Minhyun says with a smile.

“Oh, calling me babe again. I see you’re somehow okay now.”

“I wasn’t down, okay? I was just thinking.”

“Overthinking.” Seongwoo reprimands, reaching for the tub of ice cream and feeding himself a spoonful.

"Hey, that’s my spoon! Get your own!”

Seongwoo doesn’t budge even when Minhyun’s toes jab him on the side, set on wolfing down the ice cream. It’s mint chocolate chip flavored, one of his favorites, how can he stop?

“Did you get marshmallows?” He asks instead of getting himself a spoon. Minhyun shakes his head and Seongwoo glares at him.

“I forgot!”

“How could you forget! That’s like, in our bro code.” Seongwoo sulks but continues feeding himself with spoonfuls after spoonfuls. “Ice cream without marshmallows are no fun.” He says through bunched up cheeks.

“If it’s no fun then don’t eat it!” Minhyun reaches for the tub and Seongwoo leans back to keep it away from his reach. They struggle, like kids fighting over the same toy.

It's all fun until Seongwoo suddenly becomes hyperaware how close they are: chests touching, Minhyun almost straddling him, and Minhyun’s breath hitting his face. He stills in his place, eyes settling on Minhyun’s lips which are dangerously close to his own.

All of the sudden he’s taken back to the same situation yesterday, and he’s subsequently reminded of his dream— _ _nightmare—__ and the cause of such.

_Marshmallows _._ _

He’s really craving for marshmallows.

Minhyun seems to have frozen on his spot too, and when Seongwoo leans forward to place the tub on the table, Minhyun backs away and goes back to his original position, sitting on his shin.

 

“Hey, does your offer still stand?”

Minhyun’s brows furrow, “Offer?”

Seongwoo hums, contemplative. “To keep your mind off of things, too.”

Minhyun’s skin is white, so white, like marshmallows. His lips are red and plump and something grows inside of Seongwoo.

He wants, he craves.

He just wants a taste.

“Off of wha _—_ ”

Seongwoo leans and captures Minhyun’s lower lip in his. They’re soft and pillowy, just like marshmallows. _Marshmallows_. He craves, and so he pushes more, pressing his lips harder against Minhyun’s warm ones. He moves to the upper lip and tugs on it, Minhyun’s mouth opening in response and he sweeps in. It tastes so fucking sweet that Seongwoo’s craving grows even more, his gut grumbling from a mixture of emotions he cannot identify.

He cups Minhyun’s face and notes that the other’s not backing away, and so Seongwoo takes it as a permission to continue. He pulls away for a split second only to reposition his head in a different angle so he can kiss Minhyun deeper, taste him better. He registers a warm hand cupping his nape and Minhyun pulling him impossibly closer. The other groans and the vibration courses through Seongwoo’s body, electrifying.

They eventually pull away, lips beet red and shiny, cheeks equally red, and breaths laboured. The hand on Seongwoo’s nape doesn’t leave, and he feels Minhyun’s thumb stroking the skin there. Minhyun’s face is still considerably close and Seongwoo still has the desire to dive in and kiss him again, but decides against it.

 

“This is okay, right?” Seongwoo asks a few seconds later, voice low and careful like he’s treading through shards of a broken glass, “You said so, friends kiss each other sometimes, right?”

Minhyun only laughs lowly, the hand on Seongwoo’s nape sliding down to come ahold of his chin.

“Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update, i had exams! tell me what u think about this chapter in the comments :---)


	3. distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seongwoo is good with distractions.  
> Some lines are crossed and confusion ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry for this update pls dont kill me

* * *

Friends kiss each other, sometimes.

 

 _Sometimes_ turns out to be a lot of times.

The kisses were generally playful. Snuck in between study sessions, movie marathons, eating ice cream (bacause Minhyun is a prick who won’t share his tub, but Seongwoo never backs down when it comes to ice cream and goes to chase Minhyun down to taste the flavor directly off of the other’s lips), and basically anytime Seongwoo’s bored (his mind deeming the best way to cure his boredom is to kiss his best friend. Good job, brain).

There’s no crossing any line, the kisses remain just as that, __playful_ , _they don’t talk about it after. And so Seongwoo normally develops a habit over it. Developing it may or may not have been caused by his fascination over how his best friend’s ears turn red every after they kiss.

And that’s just that.

Seongwoo just finds Minhyun’s ears turning red cute.

Nothing more.

* * *

 

 

Friday nights are usually busy, the cafe teeming with students from university ordering grandes of caffeine just to survive the night and cram on requirements needed to be passed by next week. But this particular Friday night is the exact opposite. The cafe is almost deserted save from that one kid with thick glasses on seated at the corner of the cafe.

It must be the rain _ _,__ Seongwoo ponders as he peers outside through the glass doors. It’s a heavy downpour, and Seongwoo immediately regrets brushing off Minhyun’s advice of bringing an umbrella earlier in the day. He makes a mental note of listening to Minhyun more, as much as he hates it, Minhyun’s intuition never fails him. Seongwoo should use it to his benefit.

He fishes his phone from his back pocket and checks the time, he still has seven minutes left before clocking out _._ He’s already devising a plan how to get through this downpour without looking like a soaked chick upon arriving home. His mind’s almost settled on his plan of sneaking Jisung’s yellow umbrella leaning by the door (he could just apologize to the older the next day, complete with the puppy eyes) but was momentarily disturbed out of his thoughts by his phone vibrating.

 

****sunshine** **

its pouring hard, do u want me to come pick u up?

****

His phone vibrates almost instantly again just as he opened Daniel’s message.

 

****emperor ugly** **

ya you didn’t bring an umbrella, did u?

****

****emperor ugly** **

u nuthead

****

****emperor ugly** **

anyways i can come get ur ugly ass saved from this rain

****

****emperor ugly** **

just cause i don’t want you wetting the carpet when u get home

****

****insufferable** **

aw minhyunie u don’t have to act all tsundere on me

 

****insufferable** **

but as much as i like ur act, u’re 1 second late babe

****

****insufferable** **

daniel’s coming to pick me up

****

****emperor ugly** **

oh

****

****emperor ugly** **

good then

 

****emperor ugly** **

fantastic

****

Seongwoo bites back a laugh, he can almost imagine how Minhyun would’ve definitely looked right now. His best friend is not one to always offer help, _he was dubbed as the ice prince by his department for a reason_ , and Seongwoo basks on the fact that he’s one of the few (if not the only) to reject Minhyun like this. Oh, the joy of irking Hwang Minhyun.

He goes back to Daniel’s message and types out a quick reply.

 

**猫**

u r a life saver

**猫**

yes please

****

****sunshine** **

okay :D

****

****sunshine** **

going now, see u in a bit

****

It’s exactly 10 pm when Seongwoo takes off his apron and dashes to the backroom to collect his things. He singsongs a goodbye to Jisung and stuck his tongue out teasingly at Sungwoon who just arrived for his shift.

“How are you going home with this rain?” Sungwoon asks, whisking droplets of rain everywhere when he shakes his head.

“Daniel’s coming to pick me up.” He answers a little to happily and the shit eating grin comes back on his friend’s face again.

Seongwoo has the urge to slap that off Sungwoon’s face but immediately feels wrong about it—it would definitely look like smacking a little kid—considering Sungwoon’s height and all.

“Ah yeah, the not-so-boyfriend coming to save your ass from this rain.”

Seongwoo opts for a glare instead, “Don’t make me go over the _we’re not dating_  thing again.”

Just then Donghyun pokes his head in the room, “Seongwoo hyung, Daniel hyung is here.”

Sungwoon snickers again and Seongwoo hits the other lightly by the neck, sprinting out of the room before Sungwoon could retaliate. He almost bumps into Jisung when he makes it out of the door.

“Please tell Daniel not to wear those pants again. They’re sinful.” Jisung sighs, clapping him by the shoulder before going for the backroom.

 

He meets Daniel by the door, and god, are his pants indeed sinful.

“Did you wrestle a dog before coming here?”

Daniel follows Seongwoo’s eyes and examines his pants as well. He comes back to look at Seongwoo quizzically, front teeth digging on his bottom lip out of habit.

“Your pants,” Seongwoo pokes on Daniel’s flesh through one rip, “too many rips. Jisung said it looks sinful.”

Daniel tips his head back and laughs out loud, shoulders shaking and with occasional hiccups. There are tears brimming in his eyes when he gathers himself back.

“Okay, tell Jisung hyung I’ll make sure not to wear this pants whenever I come here.” He then slings an arm around Seongwoo, preparing the umbrella in one hand as they go out of the cafe. Daniel tucks him closer when they got under the umbrella, making sure not a single drop falls on his shoulder.

Daniel has no restraint in showing his affection to Seongwoo: from opening the door for him and safely buckling him to his seat. Seongwoo wants to complain, _he’s a man for gods sake, not a girl,_ but Daniel’s smile makes up for all of it. The younger shines the brightest whenever he knows he’s done something for Seongwoo, and Seongwoo doesn't want to take that away from him. He ends up letting Daniel do whatever he wants every time

“My mom visited yesterday and left too many food,” Daniel starts as he backs the car from the parking, arm resting against the head of Seongwoo’s seat, “we could get some for you and Minhyun hyung before I drop you off?”

"Sure,” Seongwoo answers, ecstatic at the mere thought of free food, “and tell your mom we’ll eat it well.”

 

The rain worsens. Seongwoo hasn’t watched the news for weeks and has absolutely no idea if it’s a storm hitting this side of the country. To top it all off, thunder and lightning start booming in the sky and comes on literally every ten seconds. Seongwoo notices Daniel flinching in his seat whenever the sky rumbles.

“You okay?” He takes one of the younger’s hands in his and strokes it in attempt to soothe the other.

“Yeah,” Daniel gulps and closes his eyes momentarily when a bright flash of lightning strikes from the sky, “you know how I hate lightnings.”

“It’s going to be fine,” he pats the younger’s hand softly, “I’m here.”

Daniel turns to him and gives him soft thankful smile.

 

* * *

 

It’s dark when they reach Daniel’s flat. The light doesn’t come on when Daniel turns on the switch.

“A black out? Probably caused by the storm.” Seongwoo says as he tries to reach out for Daniel who’s also blindly walking ahead of him.

“Wait here, I’ll just get the emergency light from my room.”

Seongwoo has been over Daniel’s apartment too many times to know his way to the couch even with the light’s out. He dumps himself on the couch and instantly grabs a cushion to smother his face with. Despite it being a slow day at the cafe, it was one heck of a marathon at school today. A three-hour-straight class is such a pain in the ass and only then does Seongwoo feel the tiredness seeping through his bones.

A particularly loud boom of thunder brings a scurrying Daniel back to the living room, emergency light on one hand and a blanket on the other. In no time, Seongwoo finds himself a handful of Daniel. The younger curls against him, plastering himself on Seongwoo’s side as he tries to block off the flashes of lightning by shakily throwing his blanket over himself.

“Hyung,” Daniel says shakily, fingers coming to curl on Seongwoo’s shirt, “I’m sorry, I said we just have to get the food, but can you please stay the night? Please.” He pleads with the softest voice.

Seongwoo peeks under the blanket and sees the younger’s shoulders lightly trembling.

He looks like a scared puppy.

Seongwoo feels his own heart melting at the mere sight.

And so he throws the blanket over him, too, joins Daniel under the cover. He then envelops the younger in an embrace. 

“Okay, I’ll stay.”

Daniel’s arms automatically wrap themselves around Seongwoo’s waist, hoisting the older lightly and settles him on his lap. “Thanks, hyung.”

He runs his fingers soothingly through Daniel’s hair, “Anytime, Dan.”

Seongwoo continues to comb Daniel’s hair to calm him, the blanket helping to block out the flashes but not so much in blocking the loud rumbles of the sky.

Daniel lets out a pitiful whine when a thunder roars again. It sounded too close, too loud. Seongwoo runs a palm up and down Daniel’s back but it seems the younger is only growing more restless as time passes.

Seongwoo needs a new tactic.

“Dan?”

Daniel gives a muffled reply from where he’s still tucked against Seongwoo’s neck.

“Look at me?” Seongwoo plants his palms against the younger’s cheek, “Focus on me, alright?”

 

Seongwoo swoops down and kisses him tenderly, pushing all the warmth he can muster to the younger through his lips. Daniel emits a low groan and kisses back just as tenderly, hands coming to rest at Seongwoo’s hips. Not too long, Daniel takes control of the kiss, biting on Seongwoo’s lips and pushing his tongue in when the latter gasps. Daniel always kisses with conviction. He kisses Seongwoo like he’s chasing for air to breathe, constantly needing the press of the other’s lips against his and chasing after him when they part even just for a split second. When Seongwoo’s hand come to rest on Daniel’s shoulders, they don't shake anymore, and Seongwoo’s glad he’s able to distract the younger from the rumbles just as he has intended.

Daniel tastes like cherries, probably from the chapstick he’s using, and his mouth hot against Seongwoo’s. The older lets out a low moan when he feels cold fingertips ghosting over his abdomen and Daniel takes the opportunity to tug on his lower lip when Seongwoo opens his mouth. 

“Hyung,” he mutters in a low voice as he noses down Seongwoo’s jawline. It sends shivers down the latter’s spine, “you taste sweet.”

Seongwoo hums as his hands return to entangle themselves among Daniel's locks.

“Like, a different kind of sweet than usual, extra sweeter?” Daniel stops to meet Seongwoo’s eyes, “almost like marshmallows.”

 

Seongwoo’s hand stills.

 

He tastes like marshmallows?

 

His fingers unconsciously make their way to touch his lips and his mind is immediately filled with one person only.

 

_Minhyun._

 

Daniel peppering kisses back on his neck distracts him from delving more into his thoughts. The younger’s pretty mouth sucking lightly on his skin sending his mind in haywire, and so Seongwoo suspends the bubbling thoughts in his mind about his best friend.

Right now, Daniel is warm in his arms. He should focus on him.

He shouldn’t be distracted by the mere mention of marshmallows.

His mind shouldn’t be filled with thoughts of his best friend when he’s with the man he knows he’s definitely involved with.

 

 

His mind betrays him for the rest of the night.

 

* * *

 

When Seongwoo comes home the next morning, Minhyun is, as he expected, already by the couch sipping on his morning coffee.

“You didn’t even text you weren’t coming home.” Minhyun’s voice is accusing and Seongwoo immediately feels guilty.

Daniel wouldn’t let go of him last night and so he was not able to spare a second to send Minhyun a text.

“I’m sorry, Daniel was just too clingy.”

“Oh?” He sets his cup down the table. He scans Seongwoo and the other oddly feels uncomfortable under his best friend’s gaze. He brings his arms around himself to fend off the intrusive stare.

“The storm was crazy, you know how Daniel is with lightnings. And the power was out, too. I just couldn’t leave him there alone.” He reasons, a little too defensive for his liking.

Minhyun only hums in response, his eyes lingering a little longer on Seongwoo’s neck before shifting away.

“Are you planning to make it official with him soon?”

Seongwoo is taken aback a little. Minhyun has never meddled with his personal relationship and this is the first he’s asking about it. “I, I don’t know.”

The taller sighs, “Seongwoo, Daniel is a good guy.”

“I-I know!”

“Then what’s there to hold back?”

Seongwoo’s mind blanks out.

Sure, Daniel is a very nice guy, that’s a fact nobody could deny. He’s more than Seongwoo could even ask for.

But there’s _something_ , something that’s lingering at the back of Seongwoo’s mind telling him something’s not right. With Daniel or with himself, he doesn’t know.

There’s something inside of Seongwoo that he can’t describe, a feeling that has been stirring and growing more over the days. He’s happy whenever he’s with Daniel, but there’s also the doubt and hesitance lingering at the back of his mind and gripping his heart. What caused it, he doesn’t know. One thing Seongwoo is sure of is that he’s not willing to risk it and enter a relationship when he’s not fully sure about himself first. 

“I don’t know, Min. There’s just something that’s… I’m not sure.”

Minhyun studies him again, eyes cold but focused. “Okay,” he says, “just, don’t get hurt. And Daniel, too.”

Seongwoo gulps, he doesn’t know how to handle situations like this with Minhyun. Serious time is a rarity when it comes to them.

“I’ll do my best.”

With this, Minhyun gives him small smile and Seongwoo, for the first time, doesn’t know what to make out of it.

 

_Was it just his mind playing tricks on him or Minhyun’s smile doesn’t look genuine?_

 

“Since you missed our weekly movie marathon last night,” Minhyun stands from his spot on the couch, “how about accompanying me to the cafe down the block instead?”

 

 

The cafe they go to is considerably empty despite it being a weekend morning. Minhyun is seated across him, face surprisingly not bloated like the usual in mornings. For the first time from this morning though, he notes of the dark circles under Minhyun’s eyes.

“Did you have trouble sleeping last night?” Seongwoo asks sincerely.

“More like wasn’t able to get a wink of sleep ‘cause somebody decided not to go home last night and didn’t even send a text message to inform me.”

“Sorry,” Seongwoo says sheepishly, falling back to the backrest of the chair, “but hey, I paid for the pancakes! That makes it up already!”

Minhyun just rolls his eyes at him. Luckily the waiter arrives with the pancakes just in time, placing plates with stacked pancakes in front of each of them.

They dig in, a moment of silence hovering them for once.

But because Seongwoo couldn’t really shut up for a good minute, his mouth decides to spew the most unhelpful information from last night.

“You know, Daniel said I tasted like marshmallows when we were kissing last night.”

He really should consider getting his mind-to-mouth filter checked.

Minhyun stops midway from eating his pancake and slowly lifts his head to meet Seongwoo’s eyes, “O..kay, and?”

"You know how I said you taste like marshmallows?” He tries to say nonchalantly as he goes back to his pancakes, but his heart is beating like crazy inside his chest right now. Why does his stupid mouth always betray him?

“Could it be possibly because I kiss you way too much?”

Minhyun doesn’t react immediately and Seongwoo had to wait a full five seconds before Minhyun ducks his head, an unreadable smile coming to his lips again.

“That’s silly,” he says in a low voice, “that’s mostly just a coincidence with Daniel’s choice of words.”

Seongwoo considers it, _maybe _,__ but his mouth has a mind of its own and decides to betray him once more.

“Maybe I should stop kissing you? Or kiss you not as much?”

“Up to you,” comes Minhyun’s immediately reply. He doesn’t say anything more after that and Seongwoo decides to focus on his pancakes before his blabbermouth self betrays him even more.

The silence covering them is stifling, for once, and Seongwoo hates feeling that he’s crossed a line he’s not supposed to. It’s uncomfortable and he’s not used to it, not with Minhyun. He’s his best friend but why is he feeling antsy about this silence? Should he apologize? But what for? For kissing him? But that’s already settled, it’s just for fun. But still, something ugly settles in his gut. He should just apologize for kissing him in the first place and causing all this awkwardness.

“Min _—_ ”

 

_“Minhyun?”_

 

They both whip their heads to the source of the voice and Seongwoo does not expect to come face to face with _him_  too soon.

Minhyun almost sound breathless when he speaks his name.

 

“Jonghyun.”

 

Seongwoo isn’t sure why he somehow hates the sound of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 猫 (Seongwoo's contact name in Daniel's) means 'neko' or cat, and in korean, neko sounds similar as 내꺼 "mine"  
> okay, we got that figured? okay :----)


	4. reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somebody gets kicked out, pancakes are being used as bribes, and Seongwoo isn't sure if he's ready to find out why Minhyun got his heart broken two years ago by the end of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lots of things happening here but i sweeear the next updates will have mooooar things going on.  
> i wrote this in 2 hours, soo soorry if it seems rushed

“Jonghyun.”

 

Seongwoo’s eyes falls on his best friend and witnesses how the other’s eyes go wide upon seeing the other man standing at the side of their table.

Minhyun immediately lets go of the bread knife he’s holding, it clangs when it hits the porcelain plate, but he stays unbothered as he swayingly gets up from his chair.

“Hi,” Jonghyun raises a hand towards Minhyun in a greeting, palm almost covered with his oversized sweater’s sleeve. “It’s been a while.”

Jonghyun’s voice is still as soft as Seongwoo remembers it, but today it sends a blaring alarm to his mind, unlike the mildness it usually carries with it.

“Yeah, it is.” Minhyun replies, rubbing his palms against the roughness of his jeans, another habit he does when he’s uneasy.

Seongwoo catches them all as he continues to silently stare at the two’s interaction.

But then Jonghyun turns to him a little and their eyes meet. Seongwoo finds himself standing from his chair too.

“Hi, Seongwoo.” Jonghyun says a little too softly, “How have you been?”

Seongwoo unconsciously darts out a tongue to wet his drying lips. He feels dread settling on his chest, “Hey, Jong. I’ve been good. When did you come back?”

"A little over a week,” the shorter answers with a smile. He looks back at Minhyun and gestures at his chair, “why are you guys standing all of a sudden?”

He laughs airily at the two and only then did the two realize the current situation and dumbly goes back to sitting again.

“Are you here alone?” Minhyun asks, hands settling on his lap as he looks up at Jonghyun.

“Yeah, I have to get breakfast for me and my roommate.” He answers while nodding his head, like the little child he’s always been (that makes people grip on their chests because of the cuteness. That effect never fails).

“So, you’re here together?”

"We’re just having breakfast.” Minhyun answers in a heartbeat and Seongwoo’s left to stare dumbfounded at the seemingly knowing look the two share. “We’re housemates now.”

“Oh,” Jonghyun looks genuinely surprised as he flittingly looks at Seongwoo before going back to Minhyun, “I would’ve thought you were..” Jonghyun trails and Seongwoo lends his ears but doesn’t get to hear the end of it.

“No.” Minhyun answers, voice soft but stern, and shakes his head at the other.

“Seongwoo,” Minhyun says his name lowly and when their eyes meet, there’s already the pleading look Seongwoo knows too well on Minhyun’s face. “Could you please, give us a moment?”

Seongwoo looks down on the two pieces of pancakes still sitting on his plate and a forlorn look immediately washes over his face.

“Oh, no! I don’t want to interrupt your breakfast! Please, Seongwoo, you don’t have to leave.” Jonghyun then sports the most intimidating death glare he could muster and throws it to Minhyun.

Seongwoo sighs as he lets go of his knife, standing from his seat while keeping his eyes locked with Minhyun.

_You’re gonna pay for this. And I’m not only talking about the pancakes._

“It’s okay, Jong. I actually have, uh, somewhere else to go to.” He hesitates before clapping Jonghyun on the shoulder before he’s walking out of the cafe, but not without sparing one last glance at his best friend’s back.

He heaves a long, deep sigh when he’s out of the door.

_Can’t do anything if this is what he wants._

__

 

****猫** **

do you have breakfast?  ** **  
****

****sunshine** **

u shouldve just eaten bfor u left, u know

**_**** _ **

****sunshine** **

but yeah, i can leave u some of my cereal

****

****猫** **

great. be there in a while.

* * *

 

 

“So he kicked you out?”

Seongwoo doesn’t answer but just continues to eat Daniel’s remaining soggy cereal, a little too angrily, if he’s going to be honest with himself.

“I wasn’t even able to finish my pancakes. And I already paid for them!” He reasons instead of answering Daniel’s question because who the hell cares, Seongwoo is just mopey right now.

“So this ex came back after how many years?”

“Two.” Seongwoo answers after wiping the left over milk on his lips with the back of his hand.

“Can you believe how much of an idiot Minhyun is? Who the hell would want to spend some time with their ex? Precisely because you’re exes already, things are supposed to be awkward, right?”

Daniel doesn’t seem to mind his babbling and goes to sit next to him on the couch, leaning on his right hand in interest as he listens to Seongwoo’s rambles. “But didn’t you mention they were good friends even before they started dating?”

“They’re friends even before we were. They were high school classmates.”

 

Jonghyun and Minhyun were classmates in high school back in Busan, along with Minki, Dongho and Aron. Meanwhile, Seongwoo and Minhyun only met in college. They were members of the instant band which was formed for the sake of the very first freshmen party they had, along with Jaehwan as the vocalist, Sewoon on the guitar, Youngmin on bass, and Seongwoo and Minhyun on drums and keys respectively. They instantly clicked despite being in different programs, managing to hangout despite hectic schedules and now, four years into university, they’re still the closest of friends.

The two groups gradually merged into a big one, Youngmin and Sewoon also being from Busan turn out to be mutual friends with Jonghyun’s circle. It was fun, really fun, but Seongwoo has to admit things turned different when Minhyun and Jonghyun broke up, ending with the latter moving out of the city.

He can’t help but remember how Minhyun was miserable after the break up and the news of Jonghyun leaving, and he just couldn’t understand why his idiot of a best friend is risking all of this again just by seeing Jonghyun again after all these years.  _Does he want to hurt himself again?_

“What’s his name again?” Daniel’s voice brings him back to his senses and he deflates against the couch.

“We do not speak of his name, Minhyun won’t allow it.” Daniel cackles over his response and goes on something about  _voldemort_ and his  _harry pote_  shit Seongwoo couldn’t really care about right now, “Or, Minhyun didn’t allow it, because apparently he’s impliedly repealed the ban on mentioning his ex’s name when he sounded like he witnessed an angel descend from heaven earlier when he said his name.”

“Oh come on, hyung,” Daniel wraps his arms around Seongwoo’s shoulders and brings him closer, “you don’t have to sound like a child whose afraid to have their best friend stolen.”

“I’m not worried about that!” Seongwoo huffs, defensive, “I’m just worried that nuthead doesn’t know what he’s doing and ends up getting himself hurt again.”

“Aw hyung,” Daniel coos, tickling his neck with a finger, “if I didn’t know you’re only best friends, I would’ve been jealous of Minhyun hyung. You’re so protective of him.”

Seongwoo sighs as he wiggles on his spot to find a more comfortable position in Daniel’s arms.

“Of course I am. If you’ve seen how he was during that time, you would be, too.”

“You just have to trust Minhyun hyung more then, he’s smart you know, he knows how to handle himself.”

Seongwoo snorts, “You won’t believe how much of an idiot he can be when he’s in love though.”

Seongwoo’s phone pings and he reaches for it from the table.

“Looks like the emperor is summoning me back to the apartment.” He says as he goes over the text.

Daniel’s arms unwind themselves around Seongwoo, “Already?” He says with a pout.

Seongwoo stands from the couch before Daniel could hold him back with his puppy face and immediately darts to the door, “Yeah, have to go home so I can rant on him.”

“Okay, text me?”

Seongwoo blows him a kiss before he’s out of the door and Daniel catches it without a fail, stamping it against his lips.

“Will do, sweetheart.”

* * *

 

 

“So you think pancake take-outs will solve this?”

  
Seongwoo rats on Minhyun immediately as he steps inside, eyes falling on the container on the table. At least Minhyun has the decency to look guilty, he avoids meeting Seongwoo's eyes and keeps rubbing the back of his neck.

“Go easy on me, at least?”

Seongwoo circles the table before sitting beside his best friend, “Okay, spill.”

Minhyun breathes in heavily, shoulders slumping when he exhales just as heavily. He knows he’s in for a long conversation with Seongwoo.

“I just wanted to talk to him,” Minhyun answers exasperatedly, “I haven’t seen him for long.”

“What happened to the staying-cooped-up-in-the-apartment-in-order-to-avoid-him plan?”

”You know that’s not really going to be possible, we’re bound to meet again _—_ ”

“So you mean you were really anticipating meeting him again?”

"Seongwoo, you know that’s not what _—_ ”

“I thought you said you’ve moved on?”

“I have!” Minhyun answers a little too defensively and Seongwoo almost flinches on his seat. “I did, I have. How many times more do I have to tell you that?”

“Many times more to actually convince me.” Seongwoo shots him back and Minhyun almost looks defeated. “You even kicked me out just to have private time with him.”

“I did that just so he wouldn’t misunderstand things.”

“What would he even misunderstand?”

Minhyun’s answers are at the tip of his tongue but he bites it back. His face shows it all and Seongwoo’s confused and conflicted himself at how his best friend seems to be in turmoil with this own self.

“Because your mouth runs a lot without filter and might cause trouble again.”

“What?” Seongwoo springs up from his spot, looking genuinely offended, “How is this even about me!”

Minhyun mumbles something under his breath and Seongwoo screams at him for answers. Minhyun, with his patience dwindling little by little, eventually pins Seongwoo against the couch with a throw pillow by the face. Seongwoo screams, but at least it’s muffled now. Minhyun’s ears can now breathe, figuratively.

When Seongwoo finally tones down, Minhyun peeks at him from under the cushion, “Please don’t scream at me anymore.”

“You fucking idiot,” he remains on his lying position, voice hoarse as he speaks, “why do want to hurt yourself again.”

Minhyun turns his back at him as he leaves the couch, his voice is low when he answers but Seongwoo catches all of it.

“Don’t worry, I’m used to hurting myself all this time.”

* * *

 

 

The  _ _staying-cooped-up-in-the-apartment-in-order-to-avoid-jonghyun__  plan is left in the ditch to disintegrate, obviously, because even if Seongwoo hates to admit it, Minhyun’s right when he said it really wasn’t possible. What if you have the same group of friends, and Choi Minki being one.

 

“I swear to god, Hwang Minhyun, I will personally castrate you if you will not show up later. Don’t make me come drag you and Seongwoo out of your apartment.”

 

That was enough to have the two of them hot on their heels to get dressed and drive their way to the address Minki texted Minhyun. Nobody dares to go against Choi Minki’s orders. Nobody.

Their group of friends planned Jonghyun’s welcome back dinner in a whirlwind and decided that tonight is the best date,  _on a Sunday_ , which means they have classes the next morning. God job, friends.

“God, never let Minki and Jaehwan plan together. It’s always a disaster, who even wants to go out drinking on a Sunday? Fuck, I still haven’t finished my essay and it’s due tomorrow!”

Seongwoo has a little mental breakdown in the passenger seat and Minhyun feels sympathetic, he himself still has loads of backreadings to finish.

“We can try exiting early?” Minhyun attempts to offer but they both already know the answer to that.

He gets a snort for a response from the other.

Seongwoo checks the navigation on his phone and taps Minhyun’s hand on the wheel, “Turn left, that’s probably the place by the end of the street.”

Minhyun follows Seongwoo’s words and were able to locate the place in no time.

The place is considerably empty, it’s a Sunday, of course, but the barrage of laughter bouncing off the corners of the restaurant that welcomes the two gives off a fake impression that the place is packed. But really, they recognize it too well that it’s just their friends laughing together, Jaehwan and Dongho mainly.

“Oh, hey! Look who decided to show up!”

Minki is immediately on his heels, a glass of beer in each hand and by the way he wobbles to their direction, Minhyun and Seongwoo figure they’re already a bit too late to the dinner (drinking session, to be honest).

“Your castration threats never fail, Minki.” Seongwoo says as he dodges Minki’s extended hand bearing the beer and goes for a hug instead.

“Good then, ‘cause I’d really do it if you didn’t show.” Minhyun just laughs beside them and goes to give a one-arm hug to Minki after Seongwoo.

They’re led to the table after that, a chain of  _what’s up_  and  _how have you beens_  thrown to them in chorus by their friends. They individually try to answer them, but the conversation eventually drowns when the guys bring their glass together for a cheer and everything is just a loud, jumbled mess after that.

Seongwoo only notices that Jonghyun and Minhyun are sitting together after he downs his first glass. They’re having a conversation, quiet enough that Seongwoo couldn’t hear a bit of it even if he’s just across the table from the two. Seongwoo scans the table to see if their friends also see how Jonghyun and Minhyun seem to be so okay around each other, which Seongwoo should be happy about, really, but right now he just finds it odd? They just met again after two years yesterday, and they’re ex-boyfriends, how are they acting like nothing happened at all?

“Hey,” Aron elbows him and when their eyes meet, Aron nods his head towards Minhyun and Jonghyun’s general direction, “everything alright?”

“Yeah,” he answers a little too confused, “just, don’t you find it weird that they’re okay around each other? This fast?”

Aron hums as he studies the other two across the table for a second, “Kind of, but they’re good friends before the dating thing. Maybe they were finally able to get past through that?”

“But it’s kind of weird,” he replies, brows furrowing as he catches Minhyun smiling softly and Jonghyun’s hand coming to rest on the former’s bicep, “Minhyun’s not really open about what happened between them, but now this? It’s as if nothing even happened.”

“Well you know,” Aron tips the bottom of his glass at their direction again, the two fortunately haven’t found out they were being stared on, “nobody really knows what happened. They never got to tell why it happened.”

That’s also the thing.

Nobody knows why Minhyun and Jonghyun broke up.

Seongwoo tried, god knows how much he tried to draw the reason out from Minhyun’s mouth but the latter stayed mum about it, even until now. Seongwoo has learned to forget it, but it all comes back now with Jonghyun’s reappearance.

The conversation between him and Aron dies down when he gets lost in his thoughts once more.

The night stretches on with more beer, laughters, and secretive stares.

* * *

 

 

“Oh, hey.” Jonghyun flinches in surprise but relaxes when he sees it’s Seongwoo coming out of the door. “Out here for a smoke?”

“I don’t really smoke.” Jonghyun replies with a smile and Seongwoo almost slaps himself for forgetting. Of course, angel Jonghyun doesnt have any bad habit.

“Oh right, sorry.”

“You? For a smoke?”

Seongwoo shakes his head and goes to stand beside Jonghyun, “I stopped after I became housemates with Minhyun. He kept screaming in my ear about the consequences, I just had no choice but to stop.”

“Typical Minhyun.” Jonghyun laughs heartily, “But, yeah, I’m just out here for some air.”

“Can understand you, Jong. Can really get a little stuffy back there.”

“Tell me about it. They’re too wild when they have too much drinks.”

They laugh together and it echoes through the empty street. It’s way past midnight and they’re definitely going to regret staying out this late when most of them have morning classes, but a better part of Seongwoo knows that he’s enjoying the night, too. It’s been a while since they were complete and having fun.

“So,” Jonghyun starts, stuffing his hands to his pockets, “Housemates with Minhyun?”

“Yeah, moved in with him two years ago ‘cause that idiot definitely needed someone to look after him after you guys broke _—_ ”

Seongwoo manages to hold his tongue but that doesn’t prevent the surprised look breaking on Jonghyun's face.

Minhyun was right, his mouth does go a lot without filter and he internally curses himself when he sees Jonghyun face go somber.

“I’m sorry!” he squeaks, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to _—_ ”

“No, it’s okay, really. Nothing to worry,” Jonghyun tries to reassure him by patting his arm before he goes even more frantic, “it’s all in the past now.”

_Is it really?_

Seongwoo tries to regain his composure by controlling his breathing while Jonghyun goes to scuffing his shoe against the asphalt.

The silence between them stretches on for another minute before Seongwoo’s throat feels scratchy once more. He's been itching to ask the one thing that’s been bubbling inside of him since earlier.

“If you do not mind me asking,” he treads slowly, “why did you break up with Minhyun?”

Jonghyun stills for a full second and Seongwoo thinks maybe this is too much, maybe he shouldn’t have asked, but he couldn’t bring himself to deny this opportunity to find answers to the questions that has long been lingering inside his head.

“Did you not love him anymore?”

Jonghyun straightens his back and turns to face him, a solemn smile on his lips, “Quite the contrary, actually.”

Seongwoo knows he’s the one who wanted to know this, but the hammering of his heart inside his chest reminds him that this is the very reason he’s asking why his best friend got his heart broken two years ago, and suddenly, he’s not entirely sure if he’s ready to hear it yet.

“I loved him, I loved him so much I just knew I had to let go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> got any ideas about what happened in the past? u can drop ur theories in the comment box ;)


	5. conflicted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plans for a friendly outing and something more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this update is..meh, kinda messy. but we have our dose of onghwang fluff for this so i hope you enjoy!  
> (im so tired while writing this, i'll come back and fix/re-write this)

“Oh hey, you guys got back just on time.”

Minki is already slurring on his words, probably from the few additional rounds of beer they had when the two had gone outside. Minhyun, as expected, is still completely sober, but the rest of the guys are another story. Luckily, Jaehwan didn’t bring his guitar with him tonight or else there would’ve been casualties already. Jaehwan running after someone with his guitar while unleashing his maniac laugh has already scarred everyone.

Seongwoo goes back to his seat beside Aron but he noticed Jonghyun chose not to return to his seat beside Minhyun. He instead took the one by the end of the table beside Dongho.

Minki knocks loudly on the wooden table to garner their mess of an attention and grins when he succeeds, “Okay gang, since we’re having a long weekend after midterms, how about we spend it together going to the beach?”

"The beach? In late October?” Minhyun, the ever reasonable, pipes in.

Minki is quick to defend his plan, telling that the weather’s not that cold by then and it’s just perfect for the beach.

“Minki, it’s already fall. The temperature’s already dropping.” Jonghyun adds from his seat.

Minki scrunches his nose at him, “Come on, we haven’t gone out of town for a very long time. All of us! And besides, it’s only Naksan beach, not too far away! We could even go hiking at Seoraksan if you guys don’t want the beach.”

“I’m in!” Jaehwan pipes from where he’s slumped at the other end of the table, an elbow dangerously close to tipping a few glasses off the table.

“Were you even listening, Jaehwan?” Minhyun asks with a snort as he removes the glasses away from Jaehwan’s catastrophic circumference.

Jaehwan attempts to rise from his seat but only successfully bumps his knee against the table, “Yes! To Jeju-do!”

“We’re not going to Jeju, you nugget!” Dongo throws a piece of radish at Jaehwan and Minhyun has to restrain the younger from crawling for the fallen food on the floor.

“It’s fine by me, that would be a good time to relax after hell of exams.” Youngmin says and Minki beams at him, lunging across the table to give his _good alpaca_ a pat on the head. Youngmin just accepts it pliantly.

Soon enough, Minki managed to get all of them to say yes to the outing and by the end of the night, he’s got all of them, one by one, in a choking hug as thanks. Minki’s plan never fails. Not even drunk-Minki's plans.

Soon, the four remaining sober people, (3 and a half, to be honest, because Minki managed to thrust four glasses of beer to Seongwoo before they finally called the night quits and Seongwoo is more or less _hit_ ), decide to devise a plan on how to get their friends’ sorry asses back home. Aron ends up taking Minki and Dongho, while Jonghyun takes up Youngmin, Sewoon and Jaehwan. Minhyun tries to talk with Jonghyun about Jaehwan, saying the latter could be a lot of work dealing with, but Jonghyun only assures him he can handle Jaehwan. Minhyun ends up asking Seongwoo for Sungwoon’s number still, just in case, and gives it to Jonghyun.

Seongwoo just watches on the sideline, his mind is fogging up but not the point that he cant control his body. He only staggers a little as he follows Minhyun back to the car and only then meets his new mortal enemy: the seat belt. He tries to lock it in again and again but the stupid thing just won’t lock. Minhyun only sighs from the driver’s seat and eventually leans over to do it for him.

“Just how drunk are you.” Minhyun says under his breath as he’s buckling him up.

“Not enough to forget things of tonight.” Seongwoo answers, whispering against the glass window.

“What?”

Seongwoo just groans and finds himself a better position on the seat. The hammering in his head is starting. “Nothing.”

 

Closing his eyes the entire time on the way back to their apartment was a bad idea. He feels dizzier the moment he steps out of the car that Minhyun has to support him all the way to their apartment. He vaguely registers Minhyun nagging him about washing his face and brushing his teeth. He doesn’t know if he’s actually done what he’s told but soon enough he’s trudging towards the direction of their bedrooms and diving face first on the bed.

He feels boneless as he wiggles his way through the blankets and finds a pillow to tuck under his head. He’s tired and the alcohol makes him feel light, this is the best way to fall asleep.

“Seongwoo, go to your own room.”

Seongwoo doesn’t budge on his spot and Minhyun has no choice but shake him awake, “Come on, stop invading my room. You have your own.”

Seongwoo swats at him, irritated, and barely misses Minhyun’s face who fortunately backed away just in time.

“Just fucking sleep next to me tonight. That wouldn’t fucking kill you.” He grumbles in response.

“We can’t fit in my bed! You hog all the space!”

“Fucking,” he sits up from his spot and moves to paste himself against the wall before dumping himself back on the bed, “there, happy now? If you still need your freaking space you can cuddle me or whatever to save some but just please let me fucking sleep now. I can’t move another single bone to go back to my own room.” He shoots Minhyun one last piercing glare before he shuts his eyes to the world again, laxing against bed in no time.

Minhyun sulks sullenly. He can never win against tipsy, sleepy Seongwoo.

After turning the lights off, Minhyun carefully enters the bed so as not to get lashed at by Seongwoo again. He throws the cover over himself and turns to face his best friend who’s got lines creasing on his forehead from where he’s frowning in his sleep.

Minhyun smooths the frown with his fingers, moving to sweep the hair off Seongwoo’s face. He then threads his fingers among the other's locks. 

“You and your potty mouth.” Minhyun mumbles before leaning in to place a gentle kiss on Seongwoo’s forehead.

“I said you may cuddle me, not kiss me.”

Minhyun is slightly startled to hear him, thought Seongwoo has long gone to dreamland. But he tries to play nonchalant, clearing his throat and continuing to run his fingers through the other’s hair.

“What, you always do it to me without my permission.”

Seongwoo peeks at him with one eye and Minhyun tries to smirk at him, but he’s caught off guard yet again for the nth time when Seongwoo kisses him square on the mouth. The kiss is short but it lingers, enough for Minhyun to feel the aftertaste of beer and meat and something that is distinctly Seongwoo on his lips—a taste he has grown to know after kissing so many times.

“You got your kiss now,” Seongwoo says with his eyes closed, “so sleep, you marshmallow.”

* * *

  

Exam week is a literal hell. Seongwoo has prepared well from his study sessions with Minhyun for weeks, but having exams every other day is too much, he felt his soul almost leaving his body after his second exam today. He’s got one last exam on Friday and Seongwoo could not believe he’s actually grateful about Minki’s drunken outing plan, realizing it only now how badly he needs a break. His brain needs to recuperate from all the torture his professors has put him and his classmates through. He needs to get away from this place, fast, even just temporarily. He’s _that_ stressed.

 

He’s in the library reviewing his materials for his last exam when he receives a message from Minki asking him to meet up, _urgent_  as he says. Seongwoo knows Minki’s tendency to label everything as urgent even when its not, but still he packs his things up and makes his way to the address of the cafe Minki texts.

 

He immediately spots Minki when he steps into the cafe, what not for his newly bleached hair and sunglasses perched on his nose (which is totally out of season because it’s already fall, but who the hell cares, this is Choi Ren he’s talking about).

 

“Already ordered you something so don’t bother.” Minki tells him as he holds him down his chair with perfectly manicured nails.

“Okay, so,” Seongwoo settles himself comfortably against the cushion of the chair, “what calls for this urgent meeting?”

"So the outing’s already on Saturday, right?” Seongwoo nods in confirmation, “I need your help with something.” Minki perches his chin over his laced fingers, a smirk adorning his face. Seongwoo already knows this is going to be a bad idea.

“What would Choi Ren even need my help for?”

“A big one, ‘cause you happen to be best friends with one of the subjects.”

Seongwoo’s brows furrow, “Minhyun?”

“Yes my dear, I’m planning a fool-proof plan of getting him and Jonghyun back together. I’m calling it The 2hyun Project.” Minki tells him his brilliant plan with an equally brilliant smile and Seongwoo’s brain suddenly hurt. Of all the things Minki could plan for, why did he take up this one, seriously?

“Minki,” Seongwoo starts carefully. He needs to tread this well because you’re bound to deal with a fire-breathing dragon when you happen to press Minki’s wrong buttons, “you mean you planned the whole outing with the gang just so you can push Minhyun and Jonghyun back together?”

"Not entirely.” Minki shakes his index finger to his face, “I seriously missed you guys and I want to spend time with you all. I just thought it would also be a good idea for the two to patch up over a good time, don’t you think?”

Seongwoo gulps, “How do you even know they want to get back together?”

“Oh please, have you seen the way they looked and acted around each other the last time?” Minki states as a matter of fact and Seongwoo cant really deny it, he had seen it himself. “Those are definitely not the faces of people whose already over each other.”

“But,” Seongwoo tries, scrambles for a reason just to deter Minki from hatching up this disaster of a plan, “don’t you think it’s too invasive? I mean, it’s their relationship after all.”

“Seongwoo, babe, we both know how stupid our friends could be,” Minki rolls his eyes. The waiter comes and places Minki’s orders on the table, the latter pushing the iced americano on Seongwoo’s direction while he sips on his strawberry smoothie. “If they need a little push, then _we_  will be that little push.”

“I, I don’t know, Minki.” Seongwoo can feel pinpricks in his throat, like thorns of roses stuck on it. He not only finds it difficult to speak now, but also to breathe.

“Come on, Seongwoo, when do you ever back out?”

Seongwoo darts his tongue out to wet his drying lips. His hands have turned cold too. He’s definitely uncomfortable with the plan, because he’s being an overprotective best friend or something else, the general idea just doesn’t sit well with him.

“Minhyun said he’s moved on.”

“And you believe him?” Minki raises an eyebrow, “After he stared at Jonghyun that night like he personally hang up the stars in the sky? You really believe he’s over him?”

“I,” Seongwoo tries to reason but comes with nothing. His heart deflates in defeat. “I’m not sure.”

“So you’re with me on this?” The blonde asks, teeth digging on the straw as he waits for the other’s reply.

Seongwoo fiddles with his fingers as he reconsider everything again.

Minhyun said he has moved on, but his actions last Sunday night definitely betray him.

Minki was right, he looked still as lovestrucked whenever he looks at Jonghyun.

Damnit, he was so out of it when they first met again back at the cafe when they were having breakfast.

Seongwoo’s mind flits back to the saying that a person could be the cause and the medication of a person’s agony at the same time, and he couldn’t help but think that maybe Jonghyun really is both Minhyun’s cause and cure.

“Seongwoo?” Minki taps his cold hand as he peers at him.

“I’ll think about it.”

 

 

The rest of the day sucked. He doesn’t get back to studying, couldn’t find the motivation and focus to do so. At work, he got scolded by Jisung, _and Jisung rarely scolds anyone_ , but he knows it’s his fault. He mixed up three orders and got complaints from a few customers too, about wrong specifics in their orders. In the end, Jisung just decided to send him home since he obviously couldn’t function well with his current state. Seongwoo apologizes for being a scatter-brain today but Jisung assured him that’s its okay, people are bound to have shitty days sometimes.

Seongwoo thinks the universe is conspiring against him. As soon as he steps out of the cafe, it starts to drizzle. He still hasn’t made it a habit to bring an umbrella with him, and so he has no choice but to go back inside the cafe.

A loud blasting of horn got Seongwoo jumping on his spot by the door. He turns around to see Minhyun’s face over the car’s rolled up window.

_So maybe the universe still has little mercies for me._

He takes a quick run to the car and Minhyun’s opening the door for him already from the inside. When he slides down the passenger seat, the other is digging on his back pack for something. He later emerges with a towel and dumps it on Seongwoo’s head.

“Don’t risk catching a cold.”

Seongwoo dries his hair wordlessly and Minhyun steps on the gas.

“Sungwoon texted me Jisung let you off early. I was nearby so I thought I could just pick you up.”

Seongwoo only hums in reply, face towards the window.

Sungwoon also mentioned about Seongwoo having a bad day in the text, but Minhyun knows better than to pry. Despite being too nosy in his life, Minhyun respects Seongwoo’s space at times like this. He just hopes Seongwoo would open up about it when they get home.

The pitter patter of the rain against the glass is the lone sound that can be heard in the car as they make their way home.

 

 

“Seongwoo, are you alright?”

Seongwoo was already making a bee-line towards his bedroom, but Minhyun’s question made him turn back on the said man halfway. His face is blank as he nods his head, “Yeah, why?”

Minhyun sighs before he walks towards him, encircling his fingers around Seongwoo’s wrist, “You’re definitely not, why are you lying to me?”

He then proceeds to gently drag the other to sit on the couch before seating himself facing the other, enclosing both of Seongwoo’s hands with his.

“Was it the exam?”

“I did fine. We studied for weeks, remember.”

“Did you miss your lunch?”

"I had lunch. Spaghetti.”

“Was it at work, then?”

"Jisung hyung scolded me a bit, but it was my fault. So it’s fine.”

Minhyun frowns. He knows for a fact that Jisung’s patience stretches a mile. Just what did Seongwoo do to earn him a scolding?

“What happened at work?”

“Mixed up some orders. Put a bit too much sugar, too little sugar, short cup of milk, many things more.”

Seongwoo says it so casually that Minhyun knows something must’ve happened to cause Seongwoo to be absentminded at work.

“Did something happen before work?”

Minhyun feels Seongwoo’s hands stiffen in his hold. The other’s eyes start to dart on other things, other things except Minhyun’s own.

“Did you have a fight with Daniel?”

Seongwoo sighs, “No, I haven’t even talked to him today.”

“Then what is it?” Minhyun tries to prod more, leaning in to search for Seongwoo’s eyes, “Why do you look so uneasy?”

"It’s nothing, really,” Seongwoo tries to laugh it off, but his laugh comes off shakily. He also tries to retract his hands but Minhyun wouldn’t let go of him. “I’m just tired, Min. I’ll just sleep this off, you don’t have to worry about me.”

Minhyun bites on his lower lip, still unconvinced, but he does let go of Seongwoo’s hands.

Seongwoo lets out a breath he doesn’t know he’s holding, only to have it hitching when he feels warm hands encasing his cheeks and a pair of warm, familiar lips against his own.

Whenever Seongwoo kisses Minhyun, it’s always playful—bites here and there—quick, and sometimes even a little too forceful. But when it’s Minhyun kissing him, it’s always soft, slow, and careful. Minhyun kisses him slow like he wants to cherish the moment, slow like he’s got all the time in the world, and this has got Seongwoo’s toes curling.

He makes a noise at the back of his throat when he feels Minhyun push his tongue past his lips to meet his. His fingers curl at the hem of Minhyun’s shirt and he vaguely registers the cold pads of Minhyun’s fingers dancing over the skin on his hips. He’s too distracted with how the other’s mouth is too warm trailing kisses on the side of his neck.

With every kiss Minhyun plants on his neck, it leaves little blazes of fire on its trail.

“You’re stressed.” Minhyun whispers, his breath warm against the shell of Seongwoo's ear.

He goes back to kissing him, lips full and inviting that it leaves Seongwoo chasing after him when they part.

“Let’s get your mind off it, alright?”

 

Seongwoo doesn't know if he's ready to give this up if Minhyun ever goes back to Jonghyun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually wrote a continuation for jong and seongwoo's talk outside the resto but i decided to delete it cos it was...too heavy hahaha and this chap is generally fluffy so i think it wouldnt fit


	6. heaven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a freaking 5k update to compensate for my absence for the last two weeks.  
> suffer with me in this update.  
> also, hinted side pairings :D

Seongwoo finds himself getting pulled into a hug the moment he steps out of the examination room. He gets a whiff of peaches and a hint of lavender and immediately relaxes in the hold; a bear hug from Daniel will forever be welcomed after a long, brain-draining day. 

"Hey," Daniel mutters against his hair before he detaches himself from Seongwoo, one hand coming down to lace his fingers with Seongwoo's. "How was the exam?" 

"It was fine, I guess?" Seongwoo smiles weakly. 

Daniel raises a brow and squeezes his hand softly. Seongwoo laughs and gives in. 

"Fine, fine. I'm pretty I sure I aced it." 

"That's more like it!" He then swoops down to leave a quick kiss on Seongwoo's lips. "Perks of having Ace Hwang Minhyun as a roommate, right?" 

Seongwoo just rolls his eyes, remembering the past weeks he suffered. "A perk, yeah, sometimes. But most of the time it's just pain. He nags and nags weeks before exams, my ears hurt." 

"But hey, it pays off."  

Seongwoo lets Daniel run his fingers through his hair. It's calming and it soothes the stress that has built up over his head in the course of week. This is just one thing that Seongwoo loves about being with Daniel. Being around the younger makes him feel calmer and at ease. He can act however he wants, even childishly, and Daniel will always be there smiling at him, even joining him in his antics sometimes. Even if he's older, Daniel has this way of taking care of him that makes him feel as if he's the younger one.  

Being with Daniel is always easy. 

"Oh hey, if it isn't the campus' favorite _we're-not-a-couple-couple_." 

Seongwoo opens his eyes to see Sungwoon leaning against the door, with that shit-eating grin on his face again, of course. 

"Hey, Sungwoon hyung." 

Sungwoon responds to Daniel's greeting with a quick nod of his head before his eyes trail on the two's interlaced fingers. He shoots Seongwoo another smile. 

"Honestly, you two, drop the act. Everybody basically knows you're dating already. What's there to hide?" 

"There's nothing to hide because we're really not dating." Seongwoo answers nonchalantly, unaware of the grimace that washes over Daniel's face. Sungwoon, though, catches the younger's expression and could not help but heave a disapproving sigh. 

"Daniel, how do you even manage to stay with someone as insensitive as this guy?" 

Seongwoo turns to Daniel only to catch the younger already looking at him. His eyes are as soft as the smile he gives Seongwoo. Seongwoo feels his insides getting funny. 

"Maybe I just like him too much?" 

His answer brings a hard tug on Seongwoo's chest and he unconsciously tightens his grip on Daniel.  

There's not a tinge of doubt or hesitation in his answer. Daniel's feelings for him are as clear as the sky outside; rolled out plainly for him and for everyone to see. 

Seongwoo wonders whether he deserves such pure and genuine affection from the other. 

"And you just pass on that, Ong Seongwoo? Daniel deserves better." 

Seongwoo knows Sungwoon meant it as a joke, but it stirs something inside of him. He hears Daniel's awkward laugh by his side and he turns to stare at the younger.  

They're okay, right? Everything is easy and convenient between them. They don't need to label the thing that's going on between them, that would only complicate things. They've already agreed on this.  

 

_“But it’s the truth, we’re not dating. Daniel and I are just,” he searches for the right word in his mind, “convenient. Yeah, convenient. We aren’t even exclusive.”_

_“Uh-huh,” Sungwoon rolls his eyes, pitching his backpack when he stands from his spot on the bench, “but does Daniel know that?”_

_Seongwoo follows, rounding the bench to join Sungwoon’s side as they walk towards the Arts building. “Of course. He should. He should know that himself, right?”_  
_”I don’t know,” Sungwoon shrugs. “Better make it clear, Seongwoo, before one of you gets hurt.”_

 

" _—_ packed already? Seongwoo?"  

Seongwoo is pulled out of his reverie with Daniel shaking their connected hands. 

"Hyung?" 

Seongwoo blinks, entirely lost of what they were talking about. "What?" 

"I asked whether you’re already packed for tomorrow." Sungwoon asks again, albeit with a little roll of his eyes. 

"Uh yeah, didn't pack much so I'm done already." He answers without much thought. "Aren't you coming with Jaehwan?" 

"Nah," Sungwoon replies almost defeatedly, a total 180 degree change from his cocky attitude just one second ago. "Sewoon's gonna be there." 

It takes Seongwoo a whole three seconds before he comprehends Sungwoon's answer. Daniel, though, is left dumbfounded beside him. 

"What? Why is Sewoon being there an issue?"  

Seongwoo suddenly wants to pet Daniel's hair because he looks like a lost puppy right now. He choose to just smile at the younger instead, stirring the topic away subliminally without answering Daniel's question. 

"But Jaehwan's gonna be there, and me, too." 

"He's just going to ditch me for his  _other best friend_. And I already told Jisung I'll be working on those days, somebody has to cover your ass at work, you know." 

Seongwoo smiles guilty and goes to playfully punch Sungwoon's arm. "Thanks, man. I really appreciate it." 

Sungwoon only leers at him before folding his arms against his chest, "Just, keep an eye on him, please?" 

"Okay, I will."  

After some more promises of souvenirs and updates about Jaehwan 24/7, Seongwoo and Daniel finally manage to slip away from Sungwoon. By the time he's already seated on Daniel's car, he checks his phone to find 14 unread messages all from Minki, ranging from screaming  _where are you's, we need to lay down our plans now!!!_ to subdued _do you think aron will like it if I wear neon pink swimwear?_ He swears he could hear Minki's voice just by reading the messages.  

"Should I drop you to the apartment or do you have somewhere else to go?" 

"Uh," he reads the message Minki has just sent him, informing him he's on his way to the apartment, "yeah, I don't actually want to go home right now." 

Daniel studies him from the driver's seat but doesn’t prod him about who he's texting and why he suddenly looked uncomfortable. 

"How about we go to my place and order pizza instead?" 

Seongwoo moans at the mention of pizza but Daniel looks far from being scandalized with how his shoulders bounce from laughing so hard. 

"That would be great, and my entire body aches, I could use some sleep." 

"I could give you a massage before you go to sleep?" 

Seongwoo bounces in glee on his seat before taking Daniel's free hand into his, planting a kiss on the back of it. 

"You are amazing." 

 

 

Daniel goes to shower after placing their pizza order and Seongwoo's left to pick the movie they'll be watching for the night. He goes to the kitchen to prepare the popcorn and fetches two cans of beer on his way back to the living room. After setting everything, he pads to Daniel's bed room to check whether the younger's already done showering but only hears the water still running. He finds it to himself to walk to the younger's closet and pick a shirt for himself. He's sure Daniel wouldn’t mind him borrowing one for tonight. 

He hears the ding of the doorbell just as he smoothens Daniel's shirt down his chest. The water has stopped running and Seongwoo figures Daniel must've heard it too, because soon, the younger's already poking his head through the door's opening, chest exposed but his lower body fortunately stay hidden behind the door. 

"Hey hyung, I think the delivery's here. Mind fetching it? My wallet's on the coffee table." 

Seongwoo wordlessly nods at him before he's sprinting back to the living room, fetching Daniel's wallet and plucking out some bills. He meets the delivery guy by the door and gets the pizza. The exchange was simple and soon he's walking back inside with the pizza box. 

He sets it down the table and was about to tuck the change back to Daniel's wallet when something caught his eyes. 

"Hey, hyung. Everything ready?" 

"Yeah, just," he fishes the thing out of the wallet before turning to meet Daniel who's hair is still dripping wet, soaking the fabric of his shirt by the shoulders, "why do you have a picture of me in your wallet? And when did you exactly took this?" 

Daniel blushes like he's caught red handed. His bunny teeth show as he gives Seongwoo a sheepish smile while padding towards the older.  

"I have this for two years already, I think?" Daniel takes the photo from Seongwoo and grabs the older by the arm to sit him down the couch, "I took this at that party. The one  where we first met." 

"At Minki's?" 

"Yeah." He answers softly as he studies the picture again, thumbing at the surface.  

Seongwoo notices it, how Daniel's feature softens when he stares at the picture. He later on realizes it's a common thing Daniel does. The boy just turns soft for everything that's Seongwoo or involves Seongwoo. 

"Okay, but that doesn’t explain why you took it in the first place." 

"Honestly, I have no idea why I took it," Daniel answers with a laugh and Seongwoo doesn’t find any hint of dishonesty in it, "I think I was just too _—_ how do I say this _—_ struck with how handsome you were that night?" 

Seongwoo's snort turns into a fullblown laugh, complete with his fingers curling and him falling against the couch. 

"Ah, Kang Daniel could be cheesy to, huh?" Seongwoo says when he has recovered from his laughing fit and has got enough oxygen back in his system. 

"But it's the truth! I'm not being cheesy right now, okay? Although I could really get cheesy with you sometimes."   
   
Daniel leans down to cage Seongwoo in between his arms and crashes their lips together. Seongwoo laughs in between and Daniel just presses closer to shut him up. Soon enough they found their rhythm together with Seongwoo's fingers finding their way to entangle on Daniel's locks while the latter's hands pins Seongwoo by the hips down the couch.   
   
"Seriously though," Daniel's breath is warm against his lips and Seongwoo can feel the younger's heart beating erratically from where he has planted his palm against the younger's chest, "don't you know how beautiful you are?"   
   
"I do," Seongwoo answers in a hartbeat, smiling up to Daniel before reaching up to place a quick kiss on the other's plump lips, "I do because you always make sure I feel and know that I am."   
   
The smile Daniel gives him is a different one—it's the brightest one Daniel has ever given him. It glows with a certain sense of accomplishment and bears a message of genuine happiness. With all honesty, Daniel looks the happiest whenever he's with Seongwoo.   
 

Seongwoo accommodates Daniel when the latter settles himself above the former, careful enough not to put much weight on the older but enough for him to blanket Seongwoo in the warmth and happiness he's radiating. He buries his face against the nook of Seongwoo's neck, breathing in his scent and placing a gentle kiss on the skin thereafter.   
   
"You know, my mom asks me a lot about you."   
   
It's silent for a while, with only the sounds of their breathing and the drumming of their heartbeats ringing in their ears.   
   
"She saw your picture in my wallet, too."   
   
Seongwoo only hums in response, choosing to let Daniel do all the talking while he thread his fingers through the younger's hair.   
   
"She asked me if we're dating," Daniel breathes heavily through his nose, "I said no."   
 

And suddenly, Seongwoo finds it hard to breathe.   
 

Sure, they haven't intentionally avoided talking about the matter, but Seongwoo didn't expect the atmosphere would be as stifling as this when the time would finally come. Seongwoo should have expected it though, it's almost two years since they started whatever this thing they have between them, but Seongwoo couldn't deny that he's still scared. Of what—he doesn't actually know. And that's what terrifies him even more.  
   
His breath catches in his throat when Daniel tightens his hug around his waist. 

"It pains me I had to answer her that way." 

Daniel's words are muffled against the skin of his neck but Seongwoo hears the entirety of it clearly. There are pinpricks forming in his chest, seconds pass and it's getting harder and harder for him to breathe.   
   
"Not just to her, but also to the rest who ask me the same thing." He burrows deeper into Seongwoo's neck, like a kid trying to seek for reassurance. "Hyung, I want to finally answer them differently."   
 

 _It's suffocating._  
 

When Daniel gets up to a sitting position and gently pulls Seongwoo with him, Seongwoo feels his breath leaving him and the world coming to a stop.  
 

"Seongwoo, will you be my boyfriend?"   
 

 

* * *

   
When Saturday morning rolls, Seongwoo hasn't had a blink of sleep. Minhyun berates him of the bags under his eyes all the while he drives them to meet their friends by the university's front gate. Seongwoo learns to tune him off, his mind too occupied with too many things, and soon he finds himself almost falling off from where he has been leaning against the car door when Minhyun opens it for him.   
   
"Christ, are you even sure you're well enough to go with us?" 

Minhyun grabs him by the arm to steady him but Seongwoo just moodily shakes him off. 

"I'm not Christ, I'm Seongwoo." 

"No shit, Seongwoo, you know what I mean." 

"I'm just tired," he punctuates it with a yawn, "and hungry." 

Minhyun only clucks his tongue at him before he's digging into his trusted backpack, magically procuring a carp bread out of it seconds later and thrusts it to Seongwoo's face. 

"Eat, you'll need a lot of energy to deal with the guys." 

Seongwoo accepts and immediately unwraps the bread. Minhyun gives him the stink eye, muttering under his breath about _people who doesn't even say thank you_ and _ungrateful brats_. At least it gets Seongwoo to smile a little as he trails behind Minhyun to meet their friends.   
 

They spend a total of fifteen minutes arguing about who's riding with who, but really though, it's just because Minki's one tough nut to crack who's forcefully trying to get Jonghyun on shotgun of Minhyun's car.   
   
"Minki, I have to drive the other car!" Jonghyun's veins are about to pop from trying to reason with the unreasonable Choi Minki and simultaneously trying not to get pushed into Minhyun's car. "Who's going to drive it if not me?"   
   
"Oh hush, Dongho could drive it!" Minki answers, one of his hand atop Jonghyun's head from where he's trying to push the latter down the passenger seat.   
   
"But it's my car! I'm supposed to drive it!"   
   
"Dongho could drive! Hell, even Sewoon could drive it and not have it disappear. Geez, Jonghyun, have a little faith on your friends' driving skills, will you?"   
   
The two struggle a bit more before Minhyun decide to finally step in, tired of all the bickering so early in the morning.   
   
"Let it go, Jonghyun. Youngmin can drive your car, if you want. Just, don't argue with Minki anymore or else we won't be going anywhere today."   
   
Minki pumps his fist triumphantly in the air before bouncing towards and latching himself to Seongwoo, giggling about their _plans kicking off to a good start_  into his ears.   
   
Seongwoo just munches on the last bit of his bread, mind still not functioning fully, but his eyes do linger from where Minhyun's places a hand on the small of Jonghyun's back to get him into the car.   
   
"They are so getting back together after this trip." Minki singsongs happily by his side as they continue to watch the two.   
   
Seongwoo's ears just hurt.   
   
   
Seongwoo ends up in Minhyun's car again, although now he's seated at the passengers seat at the back. His previous seat has been taken away from him and he tries his best not to glare at the  _angel_ occupying it. 

He fails. That's his spot _since time immemorial_ , how can he not. 

Fortunately, no one catches him feeling even more gloomy. He reminds himself it's just more than an hour ride or so, so he wouldn't be stuck in the car brooding for long. He hopes the beach would somehow ease his mind. It's a mess, really.   
   
"Seongwoo?"   
   
He meets Minhyun's eyes by the mirror and only raises a brow in response.   
   
"Do you want to sleep?"   
   
Seongwoo mutters a small _yeah_ and Minhyun moves to reach for something from the bag on the floor close to Jonghyun's seat. It proves to be a task for he has to blindly reach for the thing while focusing on driving. Jonghyun pities him in the end and asks if he can get it for him instead. 

Seconds later, Jonghyun fishes a neck pillow from the bag and passes it on to Seongwoo at the back.   
 

"Thanks, Hyun-ah."   
 

Seongwoo catches the exchange of smiles and soon enough he's got a human leech by his side again, giggling in his ear and tugging on his arm.   
   
"Did you hear that? He called him Hyun-ah! He called Jonghyun like that, too, when they were still dating!" Minki not-so-whispers in his ear.   
   
Seongwoo doesn't answer but unconsciously digs his nails against the material of the pillow. He maintains his eyes on the mirror and soon enough, by some sort of telepathy, Minhyun's eyes meet his there too.   
 

_I can't read you anymore._

 

   
The rest house is spacious and close enough to the beach. There's also a patio, the perfect area to soak in the sun in the morning and to feel the cold breeze in the afternoon. 

The overall air is great and Seongwoo's starting to feel his muscles relax. The scenic view of the beach and the surrounding mountains really help, his mind is finally starting to slip off from the thoughts that's been haunting him since last night.  
   
"Okay, so we have two rooms good for four people and a room for two. How do we decide on this?" Aron throws the room keys on the wooden table and the guys occupy the couch and chairs surrounding it.  "Dibs on the room for two, with Minki." He shoots the other a wink, who unabashedly blows him a kiss in return.   
   
Jaehwan immediately reacts from his chair, making a big X mark with his arms. "Nope, I treasure my sleep _and_ the purity of my ears, so nope, can't have you rooming together and risking to hear you guys going at it every night."   
   
Minki only looks a bit offended but it's drowned by the guffaws the rest of the guys let out. In the end they decide to have it by draw lots, with the use of Sewoon's handy pick up sticks. There are four blue sticks, three red, and two yellow. 

Minki, Aron, and Dongho end up drawing blue. Sewoon and Youngmin both draw yellow and Minhyun and Seongwoo with red. 

So that only leaves Jonghyun and Jaehwan with red and blue. 

When Jaehwan goes to draw, Seongwoo unexpectedly goes cold feet. For unknown reasons, his mind start to chant _please pick red please pick red please pick—_  
 

But of course, no one can go against Choi Minki.   
   
Even the universe couldn't be an exception.   
 

Jaehwan draws a blue.   
 

Seongwoo's stuck with his best friend and his ex in one room.   
 

 

When dinner time falls, they settle with Jonghyun's packet ramyeons and cold dumplings because all of them are too tired to go to the closest supermarket for grocery. But they manage to designate personnels for each task for the rest of the vacation, with Minhyun and Jaehwan ending up for grocery and Seongwoo and Jonghyun for clean-up for second night's dinner.   
   
They spend most of the evening playing the games Sewoon has prepared and the house is full of laughter in no time.   
   
By ten o'clock, when their bodies are too tired from the physical games they had, Minki instructs them to form a circle in the living area before he goes to fetch something from the kitchen. When he comes back, Dongho is the first one to let out a groan, and the guys follow suit when they see what Minki's holding onto: a bottle.   
   
"Seriously, Minki, aren't we too old for that already?" Youngmin asks exasperatedly, clearly not up for some high-schoolish game.   
   
"Not too old if it gets exciting." Minki winks at Youngmin and the latter dramatically lifts his arms in surrender.   
 

By now it's already an established fact that it's useless to go against Choi Minki.   
 

"Okay, first up!" Minki turns the bottle and the guys huddle in wait. The bottle lands on Dongho and the Dongho accepts it coolly, choosing truth. He's got nothing to hide here, at least that's what he thinks.   
   
"Dongho, hm," Minki drawls, a mischievous glint in his eyes got Dongho questioning his earlier stance, "how are you and the first year kid you're dating right now?"   
   
The circle breathes in surprise and Dongho sputters. Dongho never informed them of such thing, they never even knew Dongho was into dating, let alone dating a _younger one._  
   
"What? Where did this come from? Dongho's actually dating? Who?" Simultaneous questions coming from their friends got Dongho red in the face. Minki just smirks in his seat.   
   
"Lee Daehwi from the Music Department."   
 

Also an established fact by now: Minki is a bitch. And Dongho wants to strangle him.   
 

The boys grow even more surprised and Dongho's left with no choice but to disclose.   
   
"Fine," Dongho starts, voice coming off soft, "I'm dating Daehwi for a month now. I mentored him starting August because a professor asked me to, telling me Daehwi's got big potential. And we just, hit it off from there, I guess?"   
   
"But, oh my god, isn't he like 16?"   
   
"He's 19, okay, he's legal _—_ "   
   
Minki snorts from his seat and Dongho couldn't help but cross the space between them and smack him in the leg.   
   
"He's legal, yes, but we haven't done anything beyond kissing. So don't try and paint me in a bad light, Choi Minki."   
   
"Fine, fine!" Minki laughs airily, "Okay, your turn now."   
   
Dongho reaches for the bottle and spins it, this time it lands on Jaehwan.   
   
"Ah," Dongho starts with a smile, a hand coming to clamp over Jaehwan's shoulder, "our resident big mouth. Truth or dare?"   
   
Jaehwan pumps his chest and says his choice with a straight face, "Truth."   
   
"Tell us something we don't know, your deepest secret, perhaps?"   
   
"Oooh, this is crunchy." Sewoon pipes from his spot, his usual uninterested face now lit in interest.   
   
"Okay?" Jaehwan straightens his back and clears his throat, just for the thrilling effect. "I think, I'm in love with Sungwoon."   
   
" _What._ " 

Seongwoo's reaction is immediate. He almost shoots up from his spot on the floor but settles to run a hand through his hair in disbelief instead.

"You're in love with Sungwoon? But what about Sewoon!"   
   
" _What_." Jaehwan and Youngmin say at the same time.   
   
"Why would I be in love with this guy?" Jaehwan asks, genuinely confused as he points at Sewoon with his thumb.   
   
"But, but, you always ditch Sungwoon for Sewoon!" Seongwoo presses, in even more disbelief.   
   
"Ah," Sewoon finally voices, "that's because he was asking for advice on how to confess to Sungwoon hyung."   
   
"Why would he even go to you for love advices? Since when did you become a love guru, Sewoon?" Minhyun pipes.   
   
"Yeah, not like you're already dating someone." Seongwoo adds.   
   
"But, _I am dating_?"   
   
The circle erupts in questions again for the second time of the night. A game of spin the bottle can prove to be useful, especially if you and your friends haven't catch up for years.   
   
"Who are you even dating?"   
   
"Me?"   
   
Youngmin raises his hand and the rest of the guys gasp.   
   
"The hell, you guys are dating and you haven't even told us?" Aron's close to smacking the two in the head, luckily Minki holds him down.   
   
"How long?" Jonghyun asks.   
   
"About half a year already?" Sewoon says and looks at Youngmin who nods in confirmation.   
   
"Oh god, they've been dating for half a year already and they haven't told us."   
   
"Next thing you know they're already married and haven't even invited us to the ceremony." 

A full minute pass with them berating the newly found couple, late realizations about the two rooming together, and Dongho finally ending the conversation with offers of condom and lube from his stash.   
   
"Okay, I'm not even going to ask why Dongho brought his stash when his boyfriend is clearly not here."   
   
"I brought it because Aron _—_ "   
   
"Okay, back to you, Jaehwan. How long have you realized this?" Jonghyun interjects softly. His manner of speaking always has an effect of coaxing words the out of a person's mouth.   
   
"Just recently, I guess. I fell sick and he took care of me."   
   
"Are you planning to confess?"   
   
Jaehwan chews on his bottom lip, "I'm not sure. I mean, we're best friends, I'm not sure if I'm willing to risk it."   
   
Seongwoo's head is about to burst. His friends are mutually in love with each other but are both idiots to admit it. Oh god, the frustrations. He has the urge to call Sungwoon right now and scream in his ears, but no, he'll leave them both to suffer. That will serve them right.  
   
"Okay, enough about me! Next!"   
   
Jaehwan spins the bottle and now it lands on Minhyun.   
   
"Dare." Minhyun chooses simply.   
   
"Since we're already playing childish, how about we add more childishness to it."   
   
Minhyun gulps but doesn't retract his decision. He hates how Jaehwan wiggles his eyebrows at him. The devil incarnate surely has something up his sleeves  
   
"I dare you to spend 7 minutes in heaven with whoever this bottle lands on!" Jaehwan is quick to spin the bottle and numerous groans are heard. Clearly, lots of them would pass on making out Minhyun no matter how good looking their friend may be.   
 

But for the first time that night, the universe does not abide by Choi Minki's side.   
 

It does not land on Jonghyun.   
 

It lands on Seongwoo.   
 

"Ah, no fun!" Minki whines from his seat, dejected at the fact this opportunity could pass without his plan pushing through. "What's the thrill between best friends? None! How about we have Minhyun and _—_ "   
   
"Nope!" Jaehwan quickly springs from his spot and drags Minhyun and Seongwoo with him to the closest room. He pushes them inside the tiny closet and sends Minhyun a wink.   
   
"Good luck." 

The closet doors shut with a slam, darkness immediately engulfing them.

"Damnit, Jaehwan." Minhyun sneers under his breath as he tries to maneuver his way in the cramped space, careful not to stub his toe against the many luggages on the floor. "Seongwoo?"   
   
"I'm here." Seongwoo meets Minhyun's wandering hand and pulls him down to where he's seated on a vacant space on the floor.   
   
"So," Minhyun tries to wriggle into more free space so as to not have his hip digging against a luggage, "what do we do?"   
   
"I don't know, kiss like we always do?"   
   
Minhyun snorts and nudges him by the shoulder, "You like kissing me that much, huh?"   
   
"Don't get too full of yourself, Hwang. You got better suggestion on what to do?"   
   
"Well," Minhyun prolongs on his word and Seongwoo wonders if he's really trying to come up with some suggestion. "We can talk about things?"   
   
"Right," Seongwoo laughs lowly, "talk. About what, though?"   
   
"About what's gotten into you since morning." 

Seongwoo's shoulders stiffen. 

Minhyun, the ever observant. Of course. Not a scant of anything can pass his keen eyes. 

"Well?" Minhyun nudges him again. 

"It's Daniel," He sighs. 

The silence stretches for a few more seconds before he finds it in himself to add to his words. 

"He asked me to be his boyfriend. Officially, this time." 

"Oh _._ " 

Seongwoo shifts uncomfortably on his spot with Minhyun's terse reply. 

   
What does his _oh_ even mean?   
 

"What did you say to him?" Minhyun's voice is careful when he asks after moments of silence.   
   
Seongwoo finds himself thoughtlessly tracing patterns on his leg; swirls, lines and curves. Mindless.   
   
"Nothing. He didn't give me the chance to answer. He only said I should think it through."   
   
Minhyun hums and moves a little to have their shoulders brushing and their knees bumping.   
   
"What do you think, then?"   
   
"What do you mean?"   
   
Seongwoo hears Minhyun taking in a breath.   
   
"Are you planning to make it official with him?"   
   
Seongwoo belatedly realizes that his hand has moved on its own accord and started tracing patterns on Minhyun's arm instead. Only when he feels Minhyun's arm shake a little from a supposed shiver was he brought out of his stupor.   
   
"I don't know," his finger doesn't stop tracing swirls up Minhyun's arm, "should I?"   
   
"Seongwoo," Minhyun says his name a little too breathlessly and Seongwoo somehow wants to hear it again, "Daniel is a good guy."   
   
"You always say that." 

Minhyun doesn't answer this time but he takes the wandering hand into his and laces their fingers together. 

"What about you?" 

"What about me?" 

They're whispering and their faces are suddenly just a breath apart. 

From outside, they hear Jaehwan shouting for them to wrap it up in thirty seconds.

In the darkness, Seongwoo finds Minhyun's other hand and laces it with his own, both of their hands now connected.

Seongwoo leans and brings their foreheads together. It's suddenly too hot inside the closet and Minhyun's breath hitting his skin is almost feverish. 

"You're a good guy, too, Minhyun." 

He closes the gap between their lips to savor the last fifteen seconds they have in this heaven. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> crappy? ikr. lmao  
> please leave comments, it's what i love the most + it keeps me going hihihi
> 
> p.s.  
> really, though, guys if u decide to follow me on twitter, talk to me! dont just follow me, we can talk and scream together ;;


	7. intoxicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More alcohol, more games, and something more at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this update is long again but it's all over the place. im not even kidding, the transition is just a joke. i'll come back to fix this when i have the time, for now, please bear with me :(

When Jaehwan pulls open the closet's door, nothing much is out of place. Everything is relatively normal, well, except for the slightly noticeable red on Minhyun's lower lip from where Seongwoo bit him the last second.  

If Jaehwan notices it, he doesn't react much. But there's a telltale sign of a smirk slowly inching up his mouth. 

“So, did you guys have fun making out?” 

“Shut up, Jaehwan.” Minhyun's reply is terse but without a bite. Jaehwan just laughs back at him but his eyes don't miss how the two get out of the closet with their fingers laced together, Seongwoo following Minhyun out closely. 

Jaehwan just hums to himself, studying them for a few seconds before he's racing the two out of the room and back to the living area.  

Before they make a turn back to the living room, Minhyun pulls Seongwoo back by their connected hands. Seongwoo meets his eyes questioningly but Minhyun just smiles at him a little before disentangling his fingers from Seongwoo's. Seongwoo stares at how his fingers slowly slip from Minhyun's own. He feels something falling down the pit of his stomach but doesn't get to process it thoroughly because Minhyun's hand comes to rest at the small of his back, nudging him the slightest to walk ahead. The warmth of Minhyun's palm stays but quickly dissipates the moment their friends come in view. He walks ahead of Seongwoo to make a half round the circle back to his spot on the floor. 

Seongwoo wrings his hands, they feel kind of empty, and sits back down beside Minki. 

The guys don't even question what happened back in the closet, because apparently nothing fun can be expected out of best friends. It could only get as interesting as playing rock, paper and scissors. Seongwoo convinces himself he should feel relieved about it. He tries to immerse himself back to the group, scanning the group as they continue their playful banter and teases until his eyes land on Jonghyun, whose eyes are apparently already on him before Seongwoo met his.  

Jonghyun immediately ducks his head down to break the contact, seemingly embarrassed of getting caught. Seongwoo catches a mixture of emotions from Jonghyun's eyes from the split second their eyes met, and he couldn't help but think of the possibility of Jonghyun getting jealous at the thought of Seongwoo and Minhyun possibly making out back at the closet (which they really did).  

Minhyun is already spinning the bottle when Seongwoo manages to get his head out of the clouds. The bottle lands on Youngmin and he readily chooses dare. 

Seongwoo notices how Minhyun has easily slipped back to his game, laughing and giggling and easily coming up with a dare, not a tad disoriented or troubled of what happened back in the closet. Unlike Seongwoo. 

“Okay, kiss Sewoon on the spot you want the most.” 

“That's easy,” comes Youngmin's smug reply. He beckons his boyfriend with a single curl of his finger and Sewoon crawls his way to him without any objection. When Sewoon stops before Youngmin, the latter slides a hand over the other's jaw to tilt it, leaning on his knees to place the softest kiss just under Sewoon's ear.  

“That's so intimate and cute at the same time I don't think I deserved to witness that.” Minki says, his fingers curling from barely contained giddiness. 

Sewoon gives Youngmin a kiss on the cheek before crawling back to his spot. Minki screeches about adopting the two  _because Choi_ _Minki_ _could not pass on that kind of cute._  No.  

"This will be the last round, okay? But no worries, more fun tomorrow."   
   
Everybody nods at Aron's words. It's already past midnight anyway and they could use a lot of sleep for tomorrow's activities (whatever Minki decides for them to do).   
   
"Okay, here it goes!" Youngmin spins the bottle and the last victim of the night is Jonghyun.   
   
Jonghyun nitpicks on his sweatshirt and smiles a little too nervously when he meets Youngmin's eyes. "Truth?"   
   
Youngmin purses his lips and nods a little at Jonghyun, "Nothing personal, Jong, just curious." Youngmin's eyes flits among their friends and settles on Minhyun, "Why exactly did you break up with Minhyun?"   
   
Silence falls among the group and no one comes after Youngmin for his question being invasive. Clearly, they're all interested to know the story behind the mystery that has long been left unsolved.   
   
"If you're uncomfortable to say the exact reason, at least, maybe one of the reason?" Youngmin then reaches over to lay a hand on Minhyun's knee, "Hope this is not too obtrusive for you, too. We're just a bit curious." Some nod their heads in agreement.   
   
Minhyun only looks at Jonghyun, "Up to you?"   
   
Jonghyun raises a brow at him but there's a small smile on his lips, "Really? You ready for my words?"   
   
Minhyun gulps nervously.   
   
Jonghyun lets out a small chuckle before he's speaking again, "Relax. It's all in the past now."   
   
Seongwoo quietly listens, but his heart is beating abnormally fast right now. He looks at Jonghyun, and then at Minhyun, and his gut curls in an unpleasant way at how Minhyun looks so troubled and nervous right now.   
   
He's never fidgety whenever he's with Seongwoo. May it be during or even after everytime they kiss.  

Seongwoo figures it might be solely a Jonghyun effect on him. 

His mood dampens at the thought. 

"I'll only give this one reason," Jonghyun starts, eyes on Minhyun as he speaks.   
 

  
"Minhyun is selfish and selfless at the same time."   
 

 

   
When Seongwoo enters the bedroom after everybody finally decided to call it a night, he finds Jonghyun pulling his pyjamas from his backpack. The other notices him coming in and welcomes him with a smile.   
   
"Do you want to go shower first?"   
   
"No, it's okay, you can go first. I'll just lie down for a while."   
   
"Okay."   
   
But instead of lying down, Seongwoo only sits down on the edge of his bed and continues to watch Jonghyun arrange his things for shower. He does so unconsciously and soon Jonghyun looks back at him with a concerned look.   
   
"Something wrong, Seongwoo?"   
   
Seongwoo hears him but his brain takes a while to comprehend and finally form words to respond.   
   
"You said the same thing," Seongwoo looks at Jonghyun who has long stopped fishing for things in his bag, "back in the restaurant when we talked. But still, I couldn't make sense out of it. How could one be selfish and selfless at the same time?"   
   
Jonghyun picks himself from the ground and walks to the other bed across Seongwoo's to sit down.   
   
"It also took me a while to understand, to be honest."   
   
Seongwoo knows Minhyun to be the selfless type, but never the selfish, And so when Jonghyun said those words the first time back when they had dinner together, Seongwoo had spent an awful lot of time trying to piece those words together, but to no avail. How could two contrasting concepts even go together?   
   
"You know how some people mistake the idea of being in love and love itself? " Jonghyun starts, voice low but steady. Seongwoo doesn't miss the sad smile on his lips. "I think that's just it. The gist of our story."   
   
Seongwoo's mind swirls with Jonghyun's words. He's trying and trying, but his brain still isn't catching up.  

But there's one thing Seongwoo is able to take away among the piling confusion inside his head: Jonghyun and Minhyun's story isn't what everyone thought it was.   
   
"Minhyun is kind, and his kindness has the tendency to cloud his judgment."   
   
 

 

Later, in the early hours of the morning, Seongwoo registers in his sleep-hazed state the opening of the door and someone padding into the room. He sees the figure walk towards the bed across him, watches as the figure pull the blanket over the person sleeping and tuck it under the latter's chin.   
   
In his sleepy state, Seongwoo still manage to figure it's Minhyun checking and tucking Jonghyun in.   
 

He curls himself deeper into his sheets. 

 

 

* * *

 

"Should we get some seafood?" 

Minhyun steps back to look over at Jonghyun who has stopped before the seafood section. He drags the pushcart and stands beside the other. "Yeah, they'd like it." 

"Crabs and shrimp?" 

Minhyun nods and grabs the tong to hand it over to Jonghyun. Jonghyun stuffs the plastic bag until it's almost spilling and Minhyun has to laughingly stop him, telling him they'll have enough for an entire week. Jonghyun's smile is sheepish when puts down the tong and asks for the section assistant for the total. 

"You know how I'm kinda bad at estimating." There's still a hint of pink on Jonghyun's cheeks when he receives the plastic bag from the assistant. 

"It's okay," Minhyun answers with a smile, taking the bag from Jonghyun to put it in the cart, "the guys won't mind some extra." 

"True." Jonghyun places a hand beside Minhyun's on the handle to push the cart and goes over the checklist once more. "I think we already got everything. Do you have anything to add?" 

Minhyun goes over the list himself over Jonghyun's shoulder and hums in agreement, "I think that's all of them, but can we stop at a pharmacy real quick after checkout?" 

They reach the cashier and they both grab at the items to place on the counter.  

"Did any of the guys fell sick?" 

"No, just," Minhyun pauses, placing the two tubs of ice cream and a large bag of marshmallows on the counter, "Seongwoo used to be allergic to seafood but he's overcomed it through time. But sometimes the reactions return when he eats too much, so just for precautions. Because I forgot to bring the med box with me." 

"Ah," Jonghyun nods his head in understanding. Shortly, they place the last few items and goes to pay for the total. 

They leave the supermarket carrying two bags each, walking carefully back to the car. 

"I think I saw a pharmacy at the intersection? We could buy the antihistamine there."  

Minhyun voices his agreement and goes to the driver's seat after securing the groceries in the compartment. 

"How about you? You don't want to grab some coffee or something?" 

"I'm good." 

Minhyun backs the car from the parking lot while Jonghyun fiddles with his phone to choose a song for their ride home. He settles for a song he and Minhyun are familiar with. 

"This is a good song to cover. Don't you guys in the band play anymore?" 

"Not anymore, everyone's just too busy now." 

"That's a waste, you guys were really good! Let's be honest, Jaehwan's vocals are god-level and Seongwoo's too charismatic behind the drum set."  

They both recount the time the band almost had a fanbase of its own inside the university. They performed once but the impact lingered on for so long, which also paved way for them to stick with each other more and eventually become good friends. They used to have Saturday sessions, but university life grew to be unforgivable and they eventually lost their usual Saturdays in favor of cramming homeworks and meeting deadlines. Minhyun kind of misses it; the chaos and the fun that comes along with playing freely with his friends. But that has become such a luxury, especially they're all juniors now with mountains of workloads.  

"Don't ever say that to Jaehwan and Seongwoo upfront or their egos' gonna bloat up more. Those airheads." 

Jonghyun laughs and Minhyun follows suit. 

It's nice. Laughing and talking with Jonghyun again after years. Minhyun looks at how Jonghyun smiles as he peers outside the window. The genuineness in his smile places Minhyun's heart at ease. 

 

Maybe, maybe they really have left everything in the past now. 

 

"Oh, hey, about Seongwoo." Jonghyun now has his cheek on his palm and his elbow perched on the window. A tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip; a habit Minhyun knows Jonghyun does whenever he's trying to tread on something he feels he's not supposed to. "Is he dating someone right now?" 

Minhyun shift on his seat, his finger clenching and unclenching over the wheels, "He is," he says, chest tightening a little, "but they're not together. Yet." 

Jonghyun's mouth forms an 'o', quite surprised at the information. "How is that so?" 

"They've been going out for two years, but no labels." 

Jonghyun only hums in response and goes to study Minhyun's face for a while. "Do you know the guy?" 

"I do actually," Minhyun smiles but Jonghyun sees it's a little pained from the usual ones he gives, "he's nice. A civil engineering sophomore. Daniel." 

"Does he go to the same university?" 

Minhyun nods, eyes leaving the road for a split second to catch Jonghyun's eyes on him. 

"What's with the look?" 

Jonghyun puts his hand back down and plants his back straight against the seat. He reaches for his phone to turn off the music. 

"It's been two years." 

Minhyun gives him a confused stare. 

"I know I missed a lot of things, but I also couldn't miss how things have changed," Jonghyun holds him in a stare and Minhyun thinks he needs to pullover, "especially between you and Seongwoo." 

Minhyun does pullover. They're just a block away from the pharmacy but he doesn’t trust himself to stay focused on driving when he's finally having _this_ talk with Jonghyun. 

"It's been two years and I can't believe you're still stuck."  

Minhyun knows Jonghyun doesn't intend his tone to be accusing, but those words shot right into his heart. He takes his hands off the wheel to face Jonghyun. 

"Don't you think Seongwoo deserves to know?" 

The words get stuck in in his throat. He feels bile rising up instead. He feels sick. He's never good with talking about these things. 

"Things aren't actually as easy as it used to be." Minhyun's voice is scratchy, he doesn't want to say more, but Jonghyun's eyes beckon him to continue, "He has Daniel now." 

"But you said so yourself, they're not together yet." Jonghyun's words are pressing and Minhyun wants to find hope in it. But he's also at the point to know that hoping could also be cruel. 

"Do you ever think he might feel the same way?" 

Minhyun laughs at this, his voice cracking a little at the end. 

"That's a cruel thing to say, Hyun-ah." 

Jonghyun notices the tears forming at the corner of Minhyun's eyes.  

"Can't you see how he looks at you? Minhyun, Seongwoo might be—" 

"Stop," Minhyun raises his hand and Jonghyun stops, "he can't." Jonghyun purses his lips, recoiling back to his seat. 

"Why not?" 

Minhyun knows he can give it a try, nothing is still official as of now. But he also knows the possible consequences if he dives in; he knows Seongwoo's still not ready to carry another burden of somebody's feelings for him. 

He's seen enough with how he reacted with Daniel's. 

 

Seongwoo's still not ready for it. 

 

He runs his fingers through his hair instead, laxing against the seat and closing his eyes. 

"I still don't think it's the right time." 

Jonghyun lets out an exasperated sigh from his seat. 

"Just don't let this Daniel kid be another me, alright?" 

Minhyun lets his eyes fall on Jonghyun and guilt surges up his throat once again. 

"There's not even a guarantee of mutuality in this, Jong." 

Jonghyun only hums, turning to fix his gaze back outside. 

"Not impossible, too, though." 

 

* * *

When Seongwoo wakes up, the sun is already high up in the sky. He squints to scan the room to find the two beds already vacant, leaving him alone in the room. He sluggishly gets up, blinking the sleep away until he finally musters the energy to trudge to the shower room to freshen up. 

When he gets to the kitchen, he sees Jaehwan nursing a cup of coffee with a side toast by the dining table. 

"Hey, Jae."  

Jaehwan only nods at him, lips currently planted on the ceramic. Seongwoo moves to make himself a cup of coffee too, leaning against the counter as he waits.  

"Where's everyone?" 

Jaehwan finally places his mug down to answer Seongwoo. "They're down at the beach. I guess we were both too knocked out they didn’t bother to wake us up." 

Seongwoo laughs in agreement. He walks to open the fridge to check its contents, frowning when he sees it bare aside from bottles of soju and beer cans. "I'm hungry, is there anything we can eat here aside from the bread?" 

"Minhyun hyung already went out for the groceries." The younger replies a little incoherently, words muffled by the piece of toast in between his teeth.

"Oh?" Seongwoo pulls his head out of the fridge to look back at the younger, "Aren't you supposed to come with him?" 

Jaehwan smiles sheepishly over his mug, cheeks bunch up and dusted with pink. 

"I guess he wasn't able to wake me up." He says, taking a sip before continuing, "He went with Jonghyun hyung though." 

Seongwoo stops mid-air from pouring his coffee.  

 

It's too early to catch unwarranted, unpleasant feelings. 

 

"Oh." 

He says simply, trying to maintain a straight face as he walks towards the table and sitting down across Jaehwan.  

They maintain a comfortable silence, with Jaehwan happily munching on his toast and Seongwoo trying not to drown from the thoughts plaguing his mind. He takes a moment to evaluate just why exactly he's feeling bothered at the thought of Minhyun being with Jonghyun. Is he being an overprotective friend again? Is being upset like this even normal between friends? 

 

 _Are you catching some feelings?_  

The thought resounds in his mind and he freezes on his spot, feet going cold. 

 _I_ _s it possible?_  

 

"Jaehwan-ah." Jaehwan has just finished his bread, crumbs sticking at the corner of his mouth when he turns to give Seongwoo his attention. 

"How exactly," He finds solace from wrapping his palms around the cup, the heat seeping through his skin slowly helping to counter the cold that's building up inside of him, "how did you know you were in love with Sungwoon?" 

Jaehwan tilts his head at the question, pondering. Seongwoo patiently waits because if there's someone who can relate with the predicament he's going through, Jaehwan would be the first on the list. 

"I think it's a matter of when than how for me." Jaehwan says after long seconds, his eyes twinkling with a soft glow as the following words spill from his mouth. 

"I was already long in love with Sungwoon, I just didn’t realize it. We're best friends and boundaries got hazy the more we got closer. When I catch myself feeling something oddly different for Sungwoon, I always try brushing it off as bro thing, but things pile up and you'll just get to the point when you can't deny it anymore." 

"How exactly did you reach that point?" 

"It was out of nowhere, to be honest." Jaehwan's answer is immediate and it evinces the authenticity behind it, "One moment I want to smack him hard in the head then kiss him hard the next second. Weird, right? 

 _R_ _elatable,_ Seongwoo's subconscious pipes.

God knows how many times he wants to fight and kiss Hwang Minhyun at the same time. 

"But one thing made me sure it was already love. I knew for a fact I can't bear losing him." 

Seongwoo sucks in a breath.  

It's one thing being afraid of losing your best friend, and another about fearing of losing them entirely. 

"Is that why you’re still adamant about confessing? You're afraid of losing him?" 

"I'm afraid of burdening him with my feelings to the point of breaking our friendship. I can't risk losing him, so for now," Jaehwan lets out a pained exhale, shoulders slumping right after, "I'll settle with just being friends." 

"But what if Sungwoon actually loves you back?" He can't help but say, trying not to spill anything vital. 

Jaehwan laughs, a full blown one that almost got him falling off his chair. "That idiot? Loves me?" He points at himself and laughs even more in disbelief. "It would take a miracle for that to happen." 

Seongwoo couldn't help but smile sadly.

 _I_ _f only you know._  

"It could be possible, though. Friends can work as lovers, too." 

"Same goes to you." 

Seongwoo looks up to see Jaehwan eyeing him, his chin now perched on his palm. There's a knowing smile on the other's lips and he couldn't help but furrow his brows in confusion. 

"What?" 

Jaehwan bites on his lower lips as he tries not to break into a full smile, "Nothing." He says a little too tauntingly. "I hope you'll make use of your own words soon, Seongwoo." 

  

When Jonghyun and Minhyun comes back, Seongwoo tries to set aside the unpleasant sensation crawling up in his chest. He welcomes them by the door instead and offers them a hand with the bags. He only grins at Minhyun when their eyes land on each other, letting his touch linger on Minhyun's hand when he takes the bag of groceries from him. 

 

 

* * *

 

"Slow down, Jaehwan."  

Minhyun has probably said the same words over three times now but it's definitely warranted, looking at how Jaehwan is practically wolfing down the meat like his life depended on it. 

"Can't. Youngmin grilling meat is the best." The other responds in between stuffed cheeks, lettuce leaf still sticking out at the corner of his mouth. 

Minhyun sighs for the nth time but still hands the younger a glass of water. "You are such a pig." 

They're having barbecue at the patio, pro-griller Youngmin on deck. Sewoon and Minki are suspiciously huddled in one corner, probably conspiring on the godforsaken games they'll have for tonight. 

Seongwoo and Jaehwan soon clear the table and pushes it aside to make more space in the middle of the patio. Aron and Dongho come out bearing pillows and blankets in their arms, distributing them one by one. 

"Okay, game time!" Minki announces as soon as the guys settle in a circle. He crawls to place multiple red cups in the middle filled with alcohol.

"What are we playing this time?" Jonghyun asks, eyeing the red cups warily. 

"Beer pong, kinda, but not really. I just need you guys buzzed for the next game we have to play." 

Minki's words brings out a series of groans from the rest and one distinct squeak from Jaehwan. 

"I'm honestly scared." 

Minki merely winks at Seongwoo's terrified face. "Okay so everyone's going to take turn to throw a ball into the cups. There are directions written under the cups, everybody needs to participate, okay? Nobody wants a killjoy." 

"What kind of directions, exactly?" 

"Play to see, sweetie. Okay, who wants to go first?" 

Jaehwan boldly reaches for one ping pong ball from Minki's stock. 

"Okay okay, let’s get wasted tonight!" 

"Oh, darling, that's a guarantee." 

Jaehwan freely shoots and it perfectly lands on one cup. He goes to check what's written underneath. 

"It says U + 2 Drink." 

"Okay, you have to choose two people to drink with you." Minki supplies. 

Jaehwan grins as he goes over the circle, "Minhyun and Sewoon." 

Minhyun groans from his spot but gets up to take one red cup from Minki nonetheless. "Let this be a one time thing, okay, Jaehwan?" 

"No promises." Jaehwan giggles and the three of them throw their heads back to down the cups' contents. 

Both Minhyun and Jaehwan let out a goran as they feel the alcohol burn down their throats. Sewoon simply hands the cup back to Minki with a silly smile. 

"Okay, Sewoonie you wanna go?" 

Sewoon shoots and manages to land another cup. 

"I got We Drink." Sewoon reads lazily, but the silly smile returns upon the realization he's getting another cup of alcohol. 

"Everybody grab your own cups from the side!" 

"Fuck, Minki, are you trying to get us alcohol poisoned by the end of the night?" 

Minki laughs maniacally as he pours for them one by one, "I just need you guys a little buzzed. Don't worry, we won't go beyond fifteen rounds." 

They all take turns and most of them fall victim in every round, downing cups one after another. By the tenth round, all of them are way more than buzzed. 

"Minki, I'll end up throwing up if you're gonna force this on me." Jonghyun drawls a little, face scrunching in distaste when he raises the cup close to his nose. 

"C'mon, no killjoy, remember?" The devil incarnate responds, downing his own cup easily. 

"You know I have low alcohol tolerance." 

"Not an excuse!" 

Minhyun takes the cup from Jonghyun, just so they can move on quickly. "I'll drink it for you." 

"Ooh," Minki wolf-whistles, wriggling his eyebrows as Minhyun downs Jonghyun's cup. "Okay, that could work too." 

 

It takes two more rounds before Minki's convinced their livers are already in danger and deems them ready for the next game. 

"Okay since I'm pretty sure we're all pretty buzzed up, let's have the next game!" 

"I'm about to pass out." Jaehwan slurs from where he's almost sprawled on the floor. 

"What a sissy, you only drunk five cups." 

Jaehwan surprisingly shoots up from the floor to point an accusing finger at Dongho. "Shut up, not everyone can ingest alcohol like an elephant!" 

Sewoon returns from his wobbly trip to the living area, bringing a box with him. 

"What's this?" 

"Jenga?" 

Minki  _tsks_  at them and waves a finger. " _Adult_ Jenga." 

Jaehwan returns to his spot on the floor, wrapping his arms protectively around his body. "Why do I feel like I'll be violated tonight?" 

"Make sure you play this with Sungwoon around next time if you want to score some." 

"Not everyone's a pervert like you, Kwak Aron." 

Minki shushes them and everyone shuts up in an instant. 

"Okay, you know how it goes! For every block you manage to take out there's a corresponding mission. Again, no backing out. No killjoy. Just for fun." 

"You guys might want to choose your seat wisely for this game." Aron supplies. He's probably the mastermind behind this game. 

Minhyun can only bury his face in his hands. "Never let those two team up for planning a game ever again." 

 

The game starts with Minki effortlessly pushing a block from the bottom bunk. 

"Youngest Drink! Sewoon!" 

Sewoon does so obediently—heck—he's probably the one who enjoys the game most. Who knew this kid is bottomless when it comes to alcohol. 

When he finishes his drink, Sewoon follows suit to take a block out from the pile. 

"Person two seats on your left has to take their shirt off." 

The victim immediately protests from his spot. "But it's too cold!" 

"Rules, Dongho." Minki's says so teasingly. Dongho kind of wants to choke him, again. 

Dongho could only grumble. "Fine." He takes off his shirt in one swift motion, exposing his tattoos in plain view. "Happy now?" 

Minki smiles even more teasingly, nodding his head in approval. "My eyes have been blessed." 

Dongho goes next, "Person Beside you: Twerk." 

Everybody bursts in laughter but Minhyun unabashedly stands up from his spot, confidence probably boosted by the alcohol. 

"Oh god who even put this one?" 

"I have to protect my eyes!" 

Minhyun laughs himself, a little embarrassment catching on and coloring his cheeks pink. "I can't twerk but I can do a wiggle dance." 

The boys countdown from three and Minhyun wiggles his butt for the world to see for full five seconds. 

"Never do that again." Seongwoo says when Minhyun sits back down, face still half buried in his hands from the secondhand embarrassment. 

Minhyun only giggles at him and reads the mission on the block he's just taken out. "Person to your right has to sit down on your lap for 2 rounds." 

It's probably the alcohol, but Seongwoo finds himself being brazenly pulled by Minhyun onto his lap in no time. Minhyun adjusts him a couple of times, making sure he's comfortable enough, and moves to wrap his arms around Seongwoo's middle and perching his chin on the other's shoulder. 

"Okay?" Minhyun asks, his breath hitting a sensitive spot on Seongwoo's neck as he speaks. Seongwoo could only nod in response, a little too weak from the contact to speak. 

From his position on Minhyun's lap, Seongwoo manages to safely pull a block out.  "Person on your right should kiss the neck of the person three seats to your right." 

It took quite a while for them to decipher the instruction, but in the end, they have a whiney Jaehwan and a cackly Minki laughing at his face. 

"My neck is all yours, Jaehwan." Minki even pulls on his shirt to expose more of his collarbone. 

Jaehwan looks like he's about to cry. "I am doing this against my will, okay." 

"Oh hush, you don't always get the chance to kiss  _the_ Choi Minki's neck." 

Jaehwan squeaks an  _Aron_ _hyung_ _plese_ _don't kill me in my sleep_  the last second before he leans down to place a barely-there kiss on Minki's neck. 

Jaehwan jumps back to his spot, furiously rubbing at his lips. The rest joins Minki in his laughing fit. 

"Choose a person to do a three-way-kiss." Minki says, turning to Aron with a knowing smile. "Babe, you know what to do." 

"I don’t want to see this." Minhyun whispers as he hides his face on Seongwoo's neck. Seongwoo also covers his own eyes but couldn't stop the string of laughter that comes out from his mouth when he hears the rest of their friends shriek in play-disgust with whatever they're witnessing right now. 

His laughter is cut short when he feels a pair of lips making a trail of featherlike kisses on his neck. His hands come to rest over the ones wrapped around his waist and he audibly gasps when he feels Minhyun lightly sucking on a patch of skin just underneath his ears. 

"Minhyun—" 

"Sorry, sorry," Minhyun whispers against his skin, voice unusually lower and husky it sends a shiver down Seongwoo's spine. 

Aron and Minki seems to be done, and Seongwoo safely opens his eyes. 

"I'd play this all night." Aron says a little too seductively, all of them (except Minki, of course) pretend to gag. 

Jaehwan whimpers, rubbing his eyes hard. "Stop, we've been tainted enough." 

"Seongwoo, you can go back to your spot now." Minki informs and Minhyun slowly unwinds his hold on him. 

Seongwoo goes back to his spot but makes sure his thighs stay pressed against Minhyun's. 

The game goes with Aron  _unfortunately_ safely pulling out a block from the now staggering pile. 

"Person on your left has to do tequila neck with someone of your choice." 

Aron lets out his longest wolf whistle ever, "Sorry not sorry, Jong," and winks at the person Seongwoo's most afraid of to be caught for this mission, "and Minhyun." 

Seongwoo's cold fingers curl themselves around Minhyun's wrist when the latter moves to get up from his spot. Minhyun looks back at him and Seongwoo opens his mouth to protest, but no words come out. 

"Come on, Minhyun!" Aron calls Minhyun a little too excitedly, already uncapping the bottle of tequila. Minki's almost ready to pass out from glee right beside his boyfriend. 

 

Amidst the rumble in his heart and the pain of biting on his lower lip too hard, Seongwoo lets his Minhyun slip from his hold. 

 

What right does he have anyway? 

 

Minhyun's eyes linger on him a little more—waiting for him to do something, anything—but none. He despondently walks towards Jonghyun. 

Seongwoo can only watch while he holds his legs close to his chest as Minki places Jonnghyun's fingers over the top buttons of Minhyun's shirt, urging him to open them. 

With every flick of Jonghyun's fingers and buttons getting undone, Seongwoo feels his heart getting stabbed in equal counts.  

The last thing he sees before he buries his face in between his knees is Aron pouring the tequila down Minhyun's neck from a shot glass and Jonghyun's hands planted on Minhyun's shoulders. 

The hollers are loud, so loud, but Seongwoo couldn't hear them over the sound of his erratically beating heart.  

"Lap it up, Jonghyun!" 

He fists the material of his shirt over his chest. It fucking hurts so much he could not breathe anymore. 

"I'll just—get—" he says to no one in particular, maneuvering his way out the circle with his eyes locked on the ground, "water—" he sprints inside the house and runs to the kitchen. His legs finally give up when he's safely behind the kitchen counter, securely hidden from everyone. 

His breath is laboured and his entire body cold. He curls to himself again, the pain eating him from the inside is unbearable. 

 

"Seongwoo?" Seongwoo hears the familiar voice but doesn’t budge. "Seongwoo are you okay?" Warm hands are shaking him lightly, but it doesn't ease the torment he's feeling even a little, "Jaehwan said you suddenly ran off. Seongwoo, please—" 

"Why does it hurt?" His voice is hoarse and his words muffled.

"What?" He feels Minhyun shuffle closer and checking him for any scratch or wound, "Where does it hurt?" 

He finally musters to pick his head up and his heart aches even more when he takes in Minhyun's face. His best friend's face is filled with concern while he searches Seongwoo's eyes. But his eyes fall on Minhyun's still unbuttoned shirt and the pain in his chest intensifies. 

 

"I don't like it." 

 

And he's leaning, his hands coming to cup Minhyuns cheeks to crash their lips together. The kiss is rough, fueled by the turbulence inside of him, and he presses and presses until Minhyun backs and has to support himself with a hand on the ground.  

"Seongwoo—" Minhyun manages to say in between, but not for long when Seongwoo occupies his lips again. He groans when Seongwoo bites him hard. He backs away a little. "Seongwoo, slow down." 

"Can't," Seongwoo responds, his eyes closed and lips still hovering over Minhyun's. "I can't." 

And he's diving in again to catch Minhyun's lips, all the while pawing at the part of Minhyun's shirt soaked in tequila. Minhyun learns it's useless to restrain him now and starts to kiss back just as fervently. Seongwoo whimpers a little when his back hits the cupboard, the force of Minhyun's lips driving him back, he'll probably have bruises on his waist from where Minhyun's hugging him so tight right now. 

"I don't like it," Seongwoo says as he tries to catch his breath while nosing on the skin of Minhyun's shoulder up to his neck. "Tell me," he whispers against the other's ear and Minhyun almost shivers from the way Seongwoo's breath hits the shell of his ear, "Why am I hurting, Minhyun?" It's scalding. 

Instead of answering, Minhyun pulls Seongwoo on his feet and drags him to the bedroom.

It's dark, not a fleck of light streaming in, but Minhyun's eyes are bright when he turns to him. 

He hears the clicking of the door being locked and soon enough his back meets the mattress, Minhyun hovering him.  

"God, you drive me insane." Minhyun says in an almost growl before he kisses Seongwoo again, bruisingly sweet it leaves Seongwoo keening for more.  

In a surge of want and need, Seongwoo flips them over and straddles Minhyun. He lets his fingers splay over Minhyun's chest which is still slightly damp from the alcohol and sweeps the material to the side so he can plant kisses along the expanse of skin up to his neck.

Minhyun chants his name with every kiss and it brings a wonderful ring to Seongwoo's ears. 

"Get crazy with me, then?" He whispers, and then he's ducking down to suck on the flesh right under Minhyun's ear. He nips and nibbles on it, set on to leave a mark that will take weeks for it to fade. 

"Seongwoo," Minhyun groans upon the feeling of Seongwoo's tongue lapping on the bruise, "come here." 

Seongwoo obliges and kisses him again, humming against Minhyun's lips when he feels the other's hand snaking under his shirt. 

He lets out a gasp when Minhyun flips them again, snugging himself perfectly in between Seongwoo's legs. One of his hands travel dangerously up Seongwoo's thigh, and Seongwoo's breath hitches when he feels Minhyun's hand hiking up his shirt and followed by warm kisses on his stomach. 

Minhyun takes his awful sweet time, kisses every patch of skin and relishes on how Seongwoo whimpers underneath him. He decides Seongwoo looks the best like this: gasping and a total mess underneath him. 

He moves a little lower, pulling on Seongwoo's pants just enough for him to suck on a mark on Seongwoo's hipbone. 

"Oh god," Seongwoo's body involuntarily arches and his hands fly to tangle on Minhyun's hair, "Fuck, Min—" 

Minhyun goes back up at him, kissing his collarbone. "Just returning the favor." 

"God, you're killing me." He cups Minhyun's face again and pulls him until they're face to face. "Kiss me," and Minhyun does, achingly soft and slow this time it leaves him whimpering the second they part, "again".   

They kiss and kiss again and lose themselves to the feeling of having each other in their arms.

Minhyun holds him close to his chest and Seongwoo thinks how perfectly they fit against each other. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> send holy water  
> lmao  
> i know its been pretty obvious but minhyun's feelings are out in the open now  
> and now we some details about 2hyun, i hope you'll piece the puzzle ;)  
> and of course my angel bb jong will always be supportive as hell, even to his ex. (something is rly wrong in this au lmaooooo who would even do that)


	8. fleeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "This is kind of nice."
> 
> "It kind of is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short update! this one is 80% fluff and 20% rekt feels.  
> warning: overuse of "—"

For a while, Seongwoo's convinced time has stopped beyond the confines of the room. He can't hear the rowdy laughters from the patio, the cicadas chirping from the surrounding trees, the loud crashing of the waves—there was only stillness, eerily so—and the only thing that's ringing in Seongwoo's ears is the sound of his heart beating. There's a thrumming underneath his fingers and he's momentarily brought back, realizing where his hand is currently still splayed over Minhyun's very naked chest. Minhyun's heart beats in an almost the same rhythm as his; like it just came off a high and now running down slow. It's only then that he also registers the kisses softly planted on the crown of his head. He lifts his head up and meets the other's eyes that still manage to shine bright amidst the darkness of the room.

"Min," the kisses halt, only to be replaced by slender fingers threading carefully through his hair, "what are we?" 

Minhyun's eyes regard him carefully. He takes his time to answer Seongwoo, carefully choosing the right words for this moment. 

"What do you want us to be?" 

Minhyun's question is accompanied by a soft squeeze to Seongwoo's right hand.  

There are certain words that are threatening to escape Seongwoo's mouth, something in the line of  _I want to be with you, I don't want you out of my sight, I think I like you, I'm scared, I'm scared of what I'm_ _feeling right now_. However, amidst all these words, he only manages to whisper a shaking  _I don't know._  

Minhyun usually hates this kind of answer—vague, unresponsive ones—but knowing Seongwoo, he must have already expected this is the most that he could get. After all, the answer corresponds to just what they are and what they have—vague and unresponsive. 

"But," Seongwoo's small voice breaks through Minhyun's chain of thoughts, and he moves, pushes himself up so they're face to face, "one thing I'm sure of is I want to keep you by my side." 

 _B_ _ut as what?_ Minhyun's mind screams and it takes a lot of his will power to keep it from slipping from his mouth. He takes a deep breath instead and brings Seongwoo even closer, relishes on the momentary solitude that washes over him when Seongwoo tucks himself under his chin. 

"We don't have to figure it out tonight." 

Seongwoo's nails rake on the skin of Minhyun's back, a protest almost spilling from his lips. But he keeps it in. 

"But I want you to think about it," Minhyun brings his fingers back to Seongwoo's hair and it eases Seongwoo a little, enough for him to push the words back in secret, "I want you to think about how you really feel, and," 

Seongwoo takes it upon himself to call Minhyun's name softly when the latter stopped for long seconds.  

He hears more than sees when Minhyun licks his lips in apprehension. 

"You also have to consider Daniel." 

At the mention of Daniel's name, Seongwoo tenses in Minhyun's hold. He has been too caught up trying to distract himself from the younger's proposition—and he has been quite successful; kissing and having Minhyun around him all the time these past few days—but it all comes crashing down when he's reminded yet again. Worse, he still doesn't know how to deal with the younger. 

His mind goes back to the number of unread messages the younger has sent him over the weekend. 

"You don't have to figure everything in a hurry."  

Minhyun's palms are warm when they cup his cheeks, his words working magic in calming the drumfire that's building up inside him. 

"I'll be here when that time comes." 

He kisses him again, long and searing, and it leaves a sweet kind of pain in both of their hearts. 

 

 

Minhyun comes back to an actual mess in the patio—there's Sewoon almost wrestling Youngmin for his glass of beer, a still shirtless but giggling, pink-cheeked Dongho, and a lifeless Jaehwan on the floor. 

"Where's Seongwoo?" Minki's question is slurred but high-pitched, his cheeks also pink it could rival Dongho's.  

Minhyun reaches to grab the bottle out of Minki's grasp, walking away to hide it behind the door and walking back to his friend who's still looking up at him, waiting for his answer. 

"He doesn't feel well, probably drank too much. He's asleep now." 

Minhyun doesn't wait for Minki's response and rounds the circle, collecting bottles and glasses on his way. He toes at Jaehwan when he walks by and heaves a sigh of relief when the younger stirs on his spot, fortunately still alive. When he approaches Jonghyun's side to collect the remaining bottles, he doesn't expect to be pulled down by the other by the hem of his shirt, falling haphazardly on his butt beside the shorter. 

"Is he okay? Seongwoo—is he okay?" 

Jonghyun's question is frantic and his face is guilt-stricken. He must've caught the gist of what happened when the two suddenly went missing right after the tequila neck. 

"I'm sorry, we shouldn't have—" 

"Hey, Jong," Minhyun grabs the other by the shoulder to keep him still, Jonghyun looks like he's about to have a panic attack, "it's fine, Seongwoo's fine, we're fine. You don't have anything to apologize for." 

"But Jaehwan said—" 

"Really, Jong, you don’t have to stress yourself out because of this." He reassures the other with a smile and sweeps off Jonghyun's fringe out of habit, "You look like you're about to pass out. Just how many more did you drink?" 

"I also feel like passing out," Jonghyun seconds, raising his index finger in agreement, "I think I drank four more glasses while you guys were gone." 

Minhyun scrunches his nose at the information, stretching his hand to Jonghyun in offer to help the other stand, "I think that's enough for tonight." 

When Minhyun has got Jonghyun stable on his feet, he cranes his neck back to shout at the guys to call it a night. Luckily Youngmin is still considerably sober to shout his agreement and goes to literally pick the guys up from the floor. He scans the area once more to see if there's any more glasses or bottles littering, when he sees none, he deems it safe to retire inside with Jonghyun in tow. 

"Hey," Jonghyun's words are muffled from where he has planted his face on Minhyun's back, sluggishly following the latter's steps like a zombie, "think you can help me get a glass of water?" 

"Sure."  

He takes Jonghyun's hand into his and maneuvers them towards the kitchen. He deposits the shorter on a chair while he rounds the kitchen island to fetch a bottle of water from the refrigerator. 

"Do you want some aspirin, too?" 

"Nah, I'll save that for tomorrow." 

Minhyun sits across Jonghyun and waits until the latter finishes downing the entire bottle's content. He hears the shuffling from the living room; that’s probably Youngmin ushering the guys inside. His mind flits back to the lifeless Jaehwan on the patio's floor and is almost ready to dart out of the kitchen if not for Jonghyun giggling with his lips still pressed against bottle's mouth. 

A series of snicker still spill from Jonghyun's lips while he wipes at it after placing the bottle down the table.  

"Don't worry, Youngmin's gonna lug Jaehwan in after the boys." 

Minhyun's eyes go comically wide, an amused smile coming to his lips, "How do you always seem to know what's going on?" 

Jonghyun jokingly  _tsks_ at him, "Doesn't take a genius, your face shows it all." 

Minhyun hums, contemplative, and goes to nod at Jonghyun. "Maybe you're just too good at perceiving people's feelings." 

"Maybe I am," he replies, eyes shining a little mischievously, "maybe that's why I caught up too soon that you were in love with someone else while you were still dating me." 

Maybe it's the alcohol speaking. Maybe it's not. No matter, Minhyun still couldn't help the feeling of guilt crawling up his throat, scratching it raw it leaves a burning sensation on its wake.  

"I'm sorry." He doesn't know how many times he has said this—how many times more he should say it only to relieve himself a little from the guilt that's been returning over and over, like the waves leaving and returning to kiss the shore. But he looks at Jonghyun, who smiles and looks at him like he's never been hurt, and he knows the other deserves an apology a thousand times more.  

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I put you all through that."  

Jonghyun's answer comes in a long, suffering sigh and a smile that Minhyun doesn't know how to make of. 

"I thought we've already settled it that we've already left those things behind?" 

"I," Minhyun starts, palms getting clammy against the marble kitchen island, "I hope we really can, but, you know, the guilt just returns whenever—" 

"I forgive you." 

Minhyun feels the air get knocked off his lungs. Jonghyun has said it so nonchalantly he had to scratch his already reddening ears to check whether he's heard the right words.  

"I forgive you," Jonghyun repeats, "I did a long time already, actually."  

Silence befalls them, and in the tranquility of the night, Minhyun could perfectly hear the waves meeting the shore in a crashing kiss, the symphonies the cicadas are singing, the sound of a door finally opening to reveal a new path— 

"And I hope you'll also learn how to forgive yourself."  

Minhyun doesn't realize when Jonghyun has moved to sit beside him, but the comforting hand on his shoulder is all that it takes to wash away the amount of remorse and guilt that has long mountained inside of him for the past two years. 

"Don't live in guilt anymore, Minhyun." 

Finally, Minhyun lets go. 

"Friends?" 

"Friends." 

 

* * *

 

Seongwoo wakes up to a not so ideal situation in the morning. You see, he has already conjured some scene inside his pretty little head after everything that has happened last night. He had high hopes in waking up with, maybe, Minhyun wrapped in his sheets beside him, or maybe Minhyun waking him up sweetly with a kiss on his ear, or Minhyun just waking him up with that sweet voice of him—but  _yeah_ , ideals are always far-fetched from reality.  

He does wake up to Minhyun's voice, that's one good thing, but waking up to a frenzied shoulder-shaking is another thing. A thing that can make Seongwoo go straight to the grumpy mode. 

"What?" He shots up, trying to glare at Minhyun through his heavy-lidded eyes.

Minhyun only grabs both of his hands to pull him out of bed, "Aron is an idiot who forgot to remind himself he has to fetch his sister from the airport today. She's arriving in two hours or so, so we need to go back to Seoul asap." 

Seongwoo's mind is still in a haze, all he managed to pick up was the last sentence. "Did you just say asap in real life?" 

"Seongwoo, no time." He's too busy taming Seongwoo's bed hair and Seongwoo's just as equally busy staring at his best friend's face. "Go get your things." 

With one last pat on Seongwoo's head, Minhyun goes back to his own bed to shove his things (still orderly so) inside his bag in lightning speed. Seongwoo remains on his spot, scratching at his face while he scans the room.  _Where did he put his bag?_  

"But," Seongwoo's voice is still raspy from sleep but it's enough to make Minhyun stop from all his frantic tidying for a second. 

Minhyun hums at him at first and goes to face him when he doesn't answer. "But what?" 

It's too early in the morning and Seongwoo's brain still isn't functioning fully. 

"But I haven't had my morning kiss yet?" 

It takes a split second before Seongwoo processes Minhyun's lips are already against —he didn't even see him crossing the space between their beds—but all he knows is that the kiss is as warm as the sun outside and he likes how comforting Minhyun's arm around his waist is, providing a sense of security.  Minhyun always kisses so languidly in the morning and Seongwoo can feel his knees buckling, but he hangs on to relish on the taste of Minhyun's breath: the usual sweetness and a little minty from his toothpa— 

"Fuck!" Seongwoo pushes against Minhyun's chest and the other stumbles, watches as Seongwoo brings a hand to cover his mouth. 

"I haven't brushed my teeth yet and you kissed me!" He shrieks from behind his palm. 

Minhyun lets out a sigh of relief, "God, Seongwoo, you scared me." 

"I thought you're a clean freak, Hwang Minhyun! How could you kiss someone who hasn’t brushed their teeth yet?" 

Instead of answering, Minhyun only plants his hands on Seongwoo's shoulders and pushes him out of the room. 

"Just go fix your things, Ong Seongwoo." 

 

 

By some sort of miracle, all of them are ready in under an hour. Youngmin and Minhyun are lugging the last of the baggages to the compartments of each car and the guys start piling into the car. 

"Seongwoo." 

Seongwoo looks back to surprisingly see Jonghyun behind him, greeting him with a smile. 

"Hey, Jong. Need anything?" 

Jonghyun shakes his head, "Nothing, I just wanted to ask if you'd like to sit at the front?" 

Seongwoo tilts his head but follows when Jonghyun opens the door to the shotgun. 

"But why?" 

"Just figured sitting at the back would be nicer this time."  

Jonghyun nudges him by the shoulder and Seongwoo finds himself sitting down without any objection. Jonghyun only gives him another saccharine smile before closing the door safely. 

Minhyun slides into the driver's seat soon enough, letting out an  _oh_  when he sees Seongwoo on the passenger's seat. Seongwoo catches Minhyun's eyes move to the mirror, and he knows he's sharing a look with Jonghyun through it. 

When Minhyun looks back at him, there's already pink dusting on his cheeks. 

Seongwoo is a little bewildered. 

 "Seatbelt, Seongwoo." 

 

 

They reach Seoul with some time to spare for Aron to hightail it to the airport, Minki accompanying him like the good boyfriend that he is. The rest of the guys get off near the university gates, promises of another hangout and plans for the sem-ender party already on the way.  

With few more hugs to their friends, Seongwoo and Minhyun go back to the car (with Minhyun tailing a little later from where he's hugged Jonghyun last and Seongwoo  _stared_  a little too hardly).  

When Seongwoo finally deems it safe—university gate out of sight and the two of them finally alone in the car—he reaches for Minhyun's hand that's on the gear stick and laces it with his. 

Minhyun's eyes land on their hands, then on him, and the pink returns to his cheeks. 

"This is kind of nice." He says, happiness dripping in his voice. 

"Yeah," Seongwoo says through a smile, "it kind of is." 

 

 

"Do you have anything planned today?" 

Seongwoo is fresh out of shower, in an oversized shirt and sweats with water still dripping from his hair. He dumps himself on the couch beside Minhyun who's currently busy going through his collection of movies in his laptop. 

"If you call having a movie marathon a plan, then yes, I have a plan." 

Seongwoo snickers, "Don't you have some homework to work on? What happened to straight A, Hwang Minhyun?" 

"He's tired and wants to watch Harry Potter all over again." 

"Well then, I'd grace you with my cordial company, but only if you do the same for me with my plans." 

Minhyun places his laptop on the coffee table,  _Philosopher's Stone_  already on pause, and takes a run to get two cans of cider from the cooler. 

"And what's your plan exactly?" He asks from the kitchen. 

Seongwoo doesn't answer and waits until Minhyun comes back to his side. He's handed an ice-cold can and waits again until Minhyun's raising the can to his lips, a mischievous smile coming to his lips. 

"Sleep with me." 

And Minhyun splutters with his cider. As expected. 

Seongwoo is a little shit. 

"W-what?" Minhyun's voice is hoarse and his nose and ears are red, "What did you say?" 

Seongwoo erupts in laughter, falling against the cushions and Minhyun's left to stare at him stupidly. "Not that kind of  _sleep_ , you idiot." He wipes at the tear in his eyes,  _man_ , Minhyun looked beyond scandalized like they haven't done something remotely to  _that_. 

"I mean, I just want you beside me when I sleep. No funny things, okay. But maybe hugging." 

"So, you just want a human pillow?" 

Seongwoo pulls the cushion from behind his head and hits Minhyun's leg with it, "No, you idiot!" He smiles in satisfaction when the other's face crumble in pain. "I just want  _you_  in my bed." 

Seongwoo catches Minhyun pursing his lips and his already red cheeks, nose and ears turning two shades darker. 

"Oh my god—" Seongwoo sputters in disbelief and Minhyun cowers behind a cushion in guilt. 

"Hwang Minhyun is a pervert!" 

 

But they do end up marathoning four installments of Harry Potter before Seongwoo drags Minhyun to his bed, cocooning him in his sheets and calls him his human burrito. Minhyun buttheads him, it hurt, but the kiss that followed it is more than enough to make for it. 

It's kind of perfect. 

 

 

* * *

 

It's already a Wednesday. 

Seongwoo wakes up feeling heavy despite knowing he's got nothing much for today. 

There's dread settling on his gut and despite the week going smoothly, he knows he's done enough to avoid the thing he should've long faced when they got back from the vacation. 

His phone vibrates, indicating a message. 

Seongwoo reaches for it and he feels the dread inside of him grow bigger.

 

 _35 unread messages_  

 **sunshine**   

Hyung, can we talk today? 

 

It's unfair and cruel of him to ignore Daniel's messages, he knows. But he also doesn’t know exactly how to face the younger and what to say to him.  

He doesn’t have the guts to read the rest of the messages; his silence is probably wrecking Daniel right now, and the guilt is eating him up, but Seongwoo can't—Seongwoo just doesn’t know what to do.  

He has told himself since Monday to contact Daniel to meet up, but finds himself chickening out the last minute. It's the same everyday, and worse is he's blatantly trying to avoid the younger: switching schedules with Donghyun in the café and sprinting back to the apartment once his classes are done. 

 _Today_ , he tells himself,  _today he'll try again_. 

 

It rains in the afternoon, but this time, Seongwoo has an umbrella with him.  

Listening to Minhyun  _really_ does pay off. 

He manages to reach the apartment building fairly dry, although he has to wash his shoes, he has stepped over a number of puddles on the way home.  

He's still a little too breathless from where he's jogged up the stairs when he sees the figure standing before his and Minhyun's apartment door, soaked to the core and with his head hanging low. Seongwoo doesn't need to look twice to know who it is.

"Daniel?" 

The younger snaps his head to Seongwoo's direction at the mention of his name. Daniel's eyes are wide and bright, but the dark rims under his eyes are far too noticeable.  

"Hyung," Daniel's voice cracks and he blinks like a lost child, "Seongwoo hyung." 

Seongwoo sucks in a breath and takes four hesitant steps until he's in front of the younger, concern overriding the feeling of fear as he takes in the younger's soaked form. 

"Daniel, you're gonna get sick like this." he moves to remove the jacket off of the younger's shoulders, "Why did you even walk through this rain?" 

"I, I came to see you, hyung." 

Seongwoo manages to take off Daniel's jacket with his trembling hands. "Come inside, you need to warm up." 

When Seongwoo unlocks the door, he goes straight to get a spare towel from his closet. He comes back to Daniel still standing idly by the door. 

"Dan," he says softly as he walks towards the younger, placing the towel over the younger's head and drying them slowly, "go shower, okay? I'll get you some—" 

Daniel's fingers are ice-cold when they circle Seongwoo's wrist. He pulls Seongwoo's hand down with his, head still lowered as he takes a step closer to Seongwoo, stealing the elder's breath with the proximity. 

 

"Hyung, are you mad at me?" 

 

Daniel's voice is so small, sounding so unsure, and his lips are still trembling when he speaks again. 

"Did I do something wrong? Is it because of what I said? Hyung, if I burdened you with my feelings, I'm sorry. I wouldn't ask for an answer, just please," he takes a breath and Seongwoo can feel his chest constricting, "just please don't push me away." 

Daniel's hold on him tightens and tightens, and with each passing second Seongwoo's suffocating and suffocating. 

"Daniel, I'm not—" 

Seongwoo finds himself enveloped in a wet hug; Daniel tucking himself at the nook of Seongwoo's neck as he continues to tremble, but now it's accompanied with little sobs in between and tears dampening the skin of Seongwoo's neck. 

"I won't ask for anything else," Daniel's words are muffled but Seongwoo clearly understands him, and with every word the younger mutters, the more he feels the stabbing sensation in his chest.

 "Just let me stay beside you." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic will be ending in four more chapters or so. so yeah, we'RE REACHING THE END, GUYS


	9. calm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for failing to update last Sunday! but i'm back now.
> 
> i've decided to split the update in two parts cos its too long to be just one chapter. so here's the first one! i'll be posting another chapter tomorrow :)
> 
> so, as the chapter title goes, this is the calm before the storm. brace yourselves, guys HAHA

Seongwoo struggles to free himself from Daniel's embrace for a few times but fails in each attempt, the younger only pulls him closer and encircles his arms even tighter around Seongwoo's middle. Seongwoo attempts for the last time, pressing a palm against Daniel's chest to push him a little but the latter's hold on him remains unyielding, a string of _no's_ escaping the younger's lips as he burrows his face deeper at the nook of Seongwoo's neck. 

Seongwoo decides it's futile and lets his hands fall to the side. His legs are shaking from supporting Daniel's weight for over a minute now.  

"Dan," he runs a hand along the younger’s back, an effort to appease the younger, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for ignoring you. I just—I didn't know how to face you." 

"No, hyung, it's my fault," Daniel says, voice a little hoarse from crying. "I chased you away." 

"No, no, you didn't chase me away." Seongwoo takes the opportunity to pull away when the latter relaxes his hold on him a little, pushing him by the shoulders and keeping him an arm's length away. Daniel's already bagged eyes are worsened by the redness from crying and Seongwoo feels his heart sinking to the pit of his stomach knowing he's the one who caused it. "It's my fault for not being able to handle this kind of thing. Sorry for putting you through this, Dan." 

Daniel only hangs his head low in response, lower lip caught in between teeth. Seongwoo stares at the water still dripping from the younger's hair and fixes the towel on Daniel's shoulders. 

"Go take a shower, okay? I'll get you some clothes. We'll talk after you're done." 

Daniel gives him a weak nod and Seongwoo sweeps some wet strands out of the younger's face before ushering him to the bathroom. Once Daniel goes in and the door closes, Seongwoo lets himself slump against the wall beside the door. Never has he felt so physically and emotionally drained like this. He runs both palms down his face, burying his face among them while he takes shaky breaths to compose himself.  

When he finally feels some energy back to his legs, he pushes himself away from the wall and walks to his room, his feet dragging heavily against the floor. He opens his closet to see few of Daniel's clothes mixing with his own. Daniel has left them from the too many sleepovers he's had in the apartment. He chooses among them and trudges back to the living room. Seongwoo hears the water still running and figures he should fix the younger something warm to drink after his shower.  

Seongwoo has just turned the water heater on when he hears the main door open. He turns around just in time to see Minhyun enter, catching how the other's eyes immediately fall on the two pairs of shoes by the door. 

"You have someone over?" Minhyun asks after removing his own shoes, socked feet padding into the kitchen after depositing his bag on the coffee table.  

Seongwoo's fingers curl around the cup he's holding, "Yeah," his mouth suddenly feels dry and it takes him a few seconds to continue, "Daniel's here." 

Minhyun's hand stills from opening the fridge, but he's quick to mask his surprise with a casual  _oh_. 

"He, he was already here when I got back. He's soaked from the rain so I told him to take a shower." 

Minhyun only hums at Seongwoo's response and goes to get himself a bottle of water, uncapping it and taking large gulps. 

Seongwoo turns back to the heater and aimlessly waits for the water to boil. Seongwoo can feel the air getting thicker with tension and for once, has no words to break it. His heart twists in discomfort inside his chest and it feels like he's treading on thin ice; afraid of his own little movements. 

"Are you guys talking?" 

Seongwoo's shoulders bounce in surprise and he turns around to meet Minhyun's inquisitive stare. The other has seated himself on the dining table and Seongwoo takes careful steps and pulls a chair for himself, the legs screeching against the tiled floor.  

"I told him we can after," Seongwoo is evidently conflicted, it shows in the lack of glimmer in his eyes and the downturn of his lips, "but I still don't know what to say. He was crying, Min, and it's just the worst." 

Minhyun doesn't answer, his eyes only wander to the corridor leading to the bathroom. With the silence blanketing the room, he can clearly hear the sound of the water running. His eyes then fall on the clothes on the sofa, noticing them for the first time. He goes back to the motionless Seongwoo who has decided to plant his head against the surface of their dining table. 

"Do you want me to leave?" 

Seongwoo raises his head briskly, a frown adding to his already distraught countenance. "What?" 

"To give you guys some time and privacy." 

"You don't need to do that." 

Minhyun only offers him small smile and ruffles his hair.  _I trust you_. "It's okay. And knowing Daniel, he wouldn’t speak his heart out when someone else is around." 

Seongwoo bites his lips in apprehension. He doesn’t want Minhyun to leave but he has a point. And it's probably for the better. It'll only be harder for him to try settle things with Daniel knowing that Minhyun's just in vicinity

He sighs defeatedly. "But where would you go?" 

"Don't worry, I could always invade Jaehwan's room." 

The reassurance does only a little in placating his already troubled heart and mind. But before he could word anymore opposition, Minhyun is already up to collect his bag from the table. He could only stare at Minhyun's back as the taller man head towards the door. 

"I'll be back in the morning." Minhyun says for the last time before he twists the knob open and walking out of the apartment.

Seongwoo stays rooted on the chair, eyes trained on Minhyun’s retreating back until he disappears beyond the door.

 

Daniel goes out a minute after Seongwoo hands him the clothes. He has two cups of hot chocolate set on the coffee table and beckons the younger to sit beside him. He carefully hands one to Daniel once he's seated and waits after the younger has taken a sip. 

"Did you clear your mind in the shower?" 

Daniel nods, placing the cup down the table. "I still want to apologize, hyung. I told you I'd give you time to think about it but I already went crazy after five days."  

Seongwoo musters a small smile, "I'm at fault, too, for trying to avoid you. So I guess we're even." 

Daniel nods his head again, his fingers mindlessly picking at the material of the couch. They don’t say anything for a while, a blanket of silence shrouding them. Seongwoo chooses to reach for his cup in the meantime, relishing in the warmth seeping into his skin which helps in easing the tremble from his still cold hands. 

Daniel fingers dance across the couch until it lands atop Seongwoo’s. His voice is small when he speaks, just barely above a whisper. "Hyung, I'm still willing to wait." 

Seongwoo's breath gets caught in his throat and the once comforting warmth in his hands suddenly feels scalding. Daniel raises his head to look at him, his eyes tired and almost begging. Seongwoo’s mind is about to burst from the thousand and one conflicting thoughts running amok his head. There’s a siren blaring inside his head, warning him this is dangerous. It’s dangerous to let Daniel hope in him when Seongwoo himself is so unsure of himself. "Dan, about that—" 

But then Daniel moves to shorten the distance between them, stealing the cup out of Seongwoo's hands and replacing it with the warmth of his own.

"I'm sorry if I sound so selfish, but I can't lose you." He runs a thumb gently against the back of Seongwoo’s hand before raising them, resting them against his cheek.

"Until you say you can't love me, until you say there's someone else, I'll wait for you." 

* * *

 

 

"I understand why you still haven't confessed. Man, you've been in love with him for two freaking years and you've been messing around each other for months! So just why?" 

Jaehwan speaks like he's berating a child, and with how Minhyun's shoulders are slumped, he's not far from looking like one.  

"Us messing around doesn't equate to mutuality of feelings, Jae."  

Jaehwan gives him the stink eye before going back to sticking his head inside the refrigerator. 

"And I also can't believe you left them alone? Are you serious, Hwang Minhyun?" 

"Hey, I don't exactly want to hear what they'll talk about." He meant it to be defensive, but his voice came out weak like a child trying but ultimately failing to reason. 

"You're a wimp."

"Speak for yourself, you're in love with your best friend too."  
  
Jaehwan rolls his eyes at him but doesn't argue. He goes to ransack the hanging cabinets in search for the bottle opener and is only stopped by a sighing Minhyun who tells him it's on the kitchen rack.

"Honestly, Jaehwan do you really live here?" Minhyun says exasperatedly.   
  
Once the bottles are opened, he slides one to Minhyun and is quick to bring his own to his lips.  
  
"Thought you could've been considerate enough to offer me something warm."  
  
Jaehwan grunts at the feeling of the alcohol trailing down his throat. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "Suck it up, we don't do hot chocolate for ailing hearts in this house."  
  
Minhyun shakes his head at his friend’s response but there's a small smile peeking on his lips. He knows his friend sucks at things like comfort and consoling, but he's at least trying (although it always consist of nagging and beer and more nagging). That, and he hasn't kicked him out of the house. Yet.  
  
"So what are you planning to do?"

Minhyun throws his head back to take large gulps of the alcohol, grimacing at the bitter taste it leaves in his mouth and the heat it deposits in his belly.  
  
"I don't know, Jae. Seongwoo looked so conflicted earlier, it's easy to see he cares a lot about Daniel. He looked so guilty."  
  
"Caring for someone doesn't also equate to loving that person."  
  
Minhyun gives him a glare, but Jaehwan is never one to back down. "Don’t make me hope with those words."  
  
Jaehwan tsks in disdain, crossing his arms and leaning against the table. "So, what, you're gonna go down without putting up a fight?"  
  
"I can't exactly just bring myself between them and feel entitled over Seongwoo just because we've been doing _not-just-best-friend-things_ for the past few months, can I? And they've been together for two years already. If there's someone who's at advantage, it's definitely Daniel."  
  
Jaehwan clucks his tongue, tipping the bottom of his bottle towards Minhyun.  
  
"They're not _together_ together, you idiot. And what advantage? You've loved Seongwoo longer than Daniel has. You're just too much of a scaredy cat to confess."  
  
Minhyun lets out a snort and shoots Jaehwan a challenging stare.  
  
"And risk losing your best friend? You should know better how I feel, Jaehwan."  
  
The other bites back his tongue.

Minhyun's right. The shittiest thing one could get out of confessing their feelings to a friend is losing them entirely. Jaehwan should know, because it's one thing he's most afraid of, too, currently.  
  
"Okay, I'm sorry. But seriously, are you just going to give up just because Seongwoo’s still _mildly_ confused?"  
  
"I don't even know if he's genuinely confused who he likes better between me and Daniel. For all we know, he just likes kissing and messing around with me. No feelings whatsoever attached."  
  
"You're too pessimistic."  
  
"I'm just saying."  
  
Minhyun shrugs, bringing the bottle back to his lips to down the remaining content. Jaehwan can only sigh, stretching his legs underneath the table and knocking Minhyun's in the process.  
  
"I'm not believing that, not after what I saw back at the beach house. He was jealous without a doubt." Jaehwan tries to make his point by attempting to portray how he remembers Seongwoo looked that night, but Minhyun doesn't see a bit of similarity in it and just grimaces at his friend's face.  
  
"Seongwoo could be possessive at times."  
  
Jaewhan lets out an unimpressed _hah_. "Possessive over a _friend_ _?_  Really? You expect someone to break down like that over a _friend_ whom he has zero feelings for? Wow, what a friend."  
  
Minhyun throws him one more warning glare, this time mustering all his might to make it as menacing as he could.  
  
"Again, don't fuel it. I don't want to hope."  
  
Fortunately, Jaehwan relents this time, whining as he goes to grab two more bottles from the fridge.  
  
"God, this is frustrating. I don't know what you see in Seongwoo anyway."  
  
He pushes the bottles and the opener to Minhyun who obediently opens it and collects the caps to the side.  
  
"You know how people say that what you like about the person you love is something that's difficult to put into words? That's exactly the thing for me when it comes to Seongwoo." There's a fleeting smile that graces his lips, but it vanishes quickly as it came.  
  
Jaehwan chuckles, pointing a dainty finger at him.  
  
"You say that but are you forgetting that night you we're smashed drunk waxing poetics about how perfect Seongwoo is? That night Daniel spent the night with Seongwoo in your apartment the first time."  
  
Minhyun closes his eyes while letting out a groan. Jaehwan's laugh increases in volume, enjoying how Minhyun's ears are now glaringly red at the mention of the embarrassing episode.  
  
"Don't remind me. I regret that. My mouth runs itself when I'm drunk and spill things on its own."  
  
"Yah, at least you got one good thing out of it. Now you know there's someone willing to listen to you at times like this."

"I don't know if that's actually a good thing."  
  
Jaehwan kicks him under the table and it goes right against his shin.  
  
"You dipshit. I'm trying to help you. I even locked you guys together in a closet for 7 minutes but you let the opportunity go to waste!"  
  
Minhyun groans in pain, crossing his right leg over the other to check his shin. Jaehwan’s kick hurt like a cannon ball and he curses when he sees the blooming red on his skin.  
  
"'Cause yeah, confessing in a cramped closet is really ideal, Jaehwan-ah."

Jaehwan doesn't apologize, just watches idly while Minhyun continues to childishly whine at how hard he kicked him.  
  
"Whatever," Jaehwan says with a flick of his wrist, "Anyway, your battle plan."  
  
Minhyun places his foot down and rolls his eyes at his friend who's now sporting a smile Minhyun knows too well. That smile only means he’s up to no good.  
  
"I'm not going to war, Jae."  
  
"Shut up, Hwang. I'm trying to help you here because I'm sick of your love sick woes for Seongwoo all these years."  
  
Minhyun tries to argue but the other shushes him with a finger against his lips. Minhyun spews another litany but now in disgust.  
  
"Okay, so, first, give him time. If he doesn't sort the thing out with Daniel for at least—let's say a month—then it's time to step back. I don't want you stringing yourself for too long if it's obvious that you're not going anywhere—"  
  
"That Seongwoo doesn't have feelings for me?"  
  
Jaehwan stops for a full second to give him a lifeless stare. "Yes, but please shut up as I continue.” He breathes heavily through his nose. He’s taking this too seriously and Minhyun is honestly scared. “Second, for the time being, make an effort to win him. You're going to fight for it, man. But if in the end, despite all of this and Seongwoo is still a shithead who can't decide, then it's time to let go.  
  
"As much as I am convinced that Seongwoo has feelings for you, too, but worst-case scenario comes, you have to let go before you could drown yourself even more in him. You get me?"  
  
Minhyun pauses to deliberate. As much as Jaehwan appears to be an idiot most of the time, he couldn't discredit the fact that he can also give sensical advices. Sometimes.

Minhyun agrees for the most of it. He can’t let himself be stringed along for too long. If it’s really Daniel who’s in Seongwoo’s heart, then he wouldn’t hesitate to step back. No matter how painful that would be.  
  
"So, a month?" He asks, voice tentative.  
  
Jaehwan shrugs, "That depends on you."  
  
Minhyun exhales heavily, chewing on his bottom lip again as he evaluates Jaehwan's suggestion over his head again.  
  
Finally, he decides.

"That seems fine. I also want to see the end of this. I guess two years is long enough."  
  
"Oh please," Jaehwan wheezes exaggeratedly, slamming his fist down the table, "two years has been way too long. You gotta move!"  
  
"Okay," Minhyun licks his lips. There could be no harm in trying, right? "I'll try."  
  
"But be mindful of the two possible consequences, okay?"  
  
Jaehwan raises his bottle and Minhyun follows. He manages a chuckle, he knows he's in for a roller coaster ride for the next month thanks to Jaehwan's _genius_ mind.  
  
"Sounds like a drama, but thanks, Jae."  
  
Their bottles meet in a clink. Minhyun hopes he'll also be able to cheer like this after a month.  
  
"Anytime."

  
  
It's around eight in the evening when Minhyun comes back to the apartment. It's bathed in darkness save for the light emanating from a laptop in the living room. Even with the minimal lighting, he manages to make out Seongwoo's form on the couch.  
  
"Hey, you're back. Didn't see you this morning."  
  
Minhyun walks to the couch after taking off his shoes, flicking the lights on in his way. He sits beside the other and sees him already in his pyjamas; the matching printed ones they got for fun last Christmas. Minhyun couldn't help but smile a little at the sight.  
  
"I got in while you were still asleep."  
  
"Ah, that's why." Seongwoo nods a little before flashing him a small, apologetic smile. "Sorry for kicking you out last night."  
  
"You didn't kick me out, Seongwoo. I insisted giving you guys privacy." Minhyun convinces him but the guilt doesn't depart from Seongwoo's face.  
  
"But still, I feel bad." He gets up from the couch, Minhyun’s eyes following him to the kitchen.  
  
He comes back with his hands full.  
  
"So, I got you these."

Minhyun’s eyes fall on what Seongwoo bears in his arms.

  
  
Ice cream and marshmallows.

  
Minhyun couldn't help but chuckle. Seongwoo exerting effort for him is such a rare occurrence, but when it comes, it triggers a truckload of emotions in Minhyun’s chest and he’s weak, too weak for it.

"You didn't need to." He laughs but helps Seongwoo place the tub of ice cream and the two packs of marshmallows down the table.  
  
With Minhyun's laugh, the guilty smile on Seongwoo's face is replaced by a genuine one. "I wanted to."  
  
Minhyun brings a hand to pat down Seongwoo head, letting his fingers comb the other's fringe.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Seongwoo's mouth curls in a kittenish smile before he stretches to fish his laptop from the coffee table and place it on his lap. Minhyun peeks at the unblemished skin where Seongwoo's shirt has ridden up in the process.  He blinks and stares away.

"You want to watch a movie with me?"  
  
"Sure." Minhyun jogs fast to the kitchen to get a spoon, "We weren't able to finish Harry Potter, right?"  
  
And they settle down. The rough fabric of Minhyun's jeans rubbing against the soft material of Seongwoo’s cotton pyjamas with their thighs pressed together. The warmth springing from where Seongwoo is pressed on his side is a nice contrast to the cold ice cream melting in his mouth.  
  
Minhyun wants to keep moments like this.  
  
"So you're not going to share?" Seongwoo perches his chin on Minhyun's shoulder, his mouth in a pout and Minhyun has to restrain himself from closing the barely-there gap between their faces.  
  
He decides to tease the other instead, shoving a spoonful of ice cream to his mouth. "I thought you bought these for me? Only me?"  
  
"You're mean. That's my favorite flavor."  
  
Minhyun laughs and flicks Seongwoo's forehead, cackling at the way the other cradles his head and whines exaggeratedly.  
  
"You see who's meaner? Saying you bought this for me but choosing your favorite flavor instead. I'm starting to question your intentions."  
  
Seongwoo continues to rub on his temple, the childish pout not leaving his face.  
  
"Minhyun."  
  
He whines and lounges himself towards Minhyun, almost toppling the tub from Minhyun's hold. Their faces are even closer now, so close Minhyun could feel the warmth of Seongwoo's breath hitting his cheek.

 

Seongwoo puckers his mouth.

An invitation.

Minhyun is tempted, of course, but masks it with a wary look.

 

"Are you really doing this because I'm not backing out."

 There are arms suddenly encircling his waist. Seongwoo tilts his head, like a kitten begging to be given attention, and it’s enough for Minhyun’s resolve to slip away.  
  
"Is anybody playing here? 'Cause I'm not."  
  
Minhyun is quick to place the tub down the table and going back to cup Seongwoo's face to bring their lips together. The pressing of their lips is sweet, accentuated by the taste of the ice cream. But Minhyun would also like to think that kissing Seongwoo will always be sweet, with or without the aid of ice cream.  
  
They pull away but not for long, the two of them reaching for the other just a breath after their lips part. Breaths against lips, fingers tangled on hair, and wandering hands under shirts.  
  
Minhyun pulls away with a groan when he feels Seongwoo's hand inching dangerously close to his crotch.

Seongwoo’s hand retreats, but his lips follow Minhyun’s for one more kiss.  
  
"You really taste like marshmallows." Seongwoo says as he nibbles on Minhyun’s lips, swiping his tongue against the lower lip to get a taste once more.

"That's because I'm eating some."  
  
"No, no." Another kiss, "Even when you're not eating, you taste like it." And another. The sweetness stamped against Minhyun’s lips makes his toes curl. "Kind of like your default taste? It's addicting."  
  
Minhyun laughs against Seongwoo's lips and pushes at the latter's chest weakly. He needs to catch his breath.  
  
"Okay, stop. I don't want bruises on my lips."  
  
"You're a marshmallow." Seongwoo sing songs. _My marshmallow_. He wants to say it, really. But he keeps the words back, biting on his lower lip in restraint.  
  
Minhyun takes the tub back, scooping a spoonful and offering it to Seongwoo who happily opens his mouth.

"So how did things go?" He feeds him another, grateful how his hands are not shaking while holding the spoon up Seongwoo's mouth. "How's Daniel?"

Minhyun mentally pats himself on the back for managing to say it casually.

It’s becoming a habit, one that Minhyun’s not really proud of: trying to act impassive of the things that are greatly concerning.

"He's fine, I got him home before midnight." Seongwoo reaches for a napkin from the coffee table to wipe off the ice cream at the corner of his mouth. "We talked, but not a lot. I honestly couldn't find the words to say." guilt find its way back on Seongwoo’s face and Minhyun wants nothing but to ease it away, "I'm hurting him and I know I should say something but the words just don't come out.”

Minhyun places a hand against the side of Seongwoo head to bring it to rest against his shoulder.

"You'll figure it out." He says, patting the other’s hair comfortingly. "We have time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not replying to your comments in the previous chap! i'll do my best to reply asap


	10. storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They say give out what you want most to come back.  
> Minhyun learns that is not at all true when it comes to loving Seongwoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woahhh thank you for the 600+ kudos!
> 
> okay,  
> this is supposed to be just one chapter along with the preceding one, so things are fast-paced.  
> also, im sorry for the too many confusing changes in POV haha  
> p.s.: please see end note for something important!  
> p.p.s: please don't kill me after this update

A month proves to be a considerable amount of time. In a matter of weeks, a lot of things happened, and Seongwoo catches how few things also changed.

Daniel’s been lingering around him more often than ever; spending every free time he’s got with Seongwoo and even wasting his weekends lazing around Seongwoo and Minhyun’s apartment when he’s got nothing better to do or deadlines to cram for. Daniel is sweet, that’s already a given fact, but lately he is tooth-rotting level kind of sweet. Seongwoo appreciate every little thing Daniel does, like bringing him coffee in the morning whenever he can, his constant reminders of drinking his vitamins, and even the way Daniel simply compliments him—saying he looks great although Seongwoo knows he definitely looks like shit with the bags under his eyes and his nest of a hair. Daniel makes Seongwoo realize how great it feels to be treasured by someone. But most of the time, it leaves Seongwoo wondering whether he truly deserves it or not.

With Daniel occupying most of Seongwoo’s weekends, he’s left with little time to spend with Minhyun. He lives off the rushed hugs and feather light kisses they share in the mornings and the tired forehead kisses before they head to sleep at night. Seongwoo would be lying to himself to say he's okay with it. With finals week just around the corner, they’re both equally busy, but Minhyun makes sure to offer help Seongwoo study whenever he’s not too cramped with his own responsibilities. It may sound absurd, but he misses Minhyun. Whenever he’s with Minhyun, time flies too fast—it’s either they’re both rushing to classes in the morning or too drained at the end of the day they simply crash into their respective beds. Lately, there's really no in between.

And so Seongwoo makes use of this excuse one night, sneaking into Minhyun’s duvet and tucking his head underneath Minhyun’s chin. The next morning, Minhyun doesn’t ask him any question and kisses his temple instead in a good morning kiss.

And along all these changes comes the increasing turbulence inside Seongwoo’s mind. He knows he can’t let things continue like this; it’s unfair to both Minhyun and Daniel.

He has to decide.

* * *

 

  
Seongwoo’s about to clock out of work when he finds Sungwoon at the backroom, tying his apron securely around his waist. It’s been a long day and his mind is a chaos after reading separate texts from Daniel and Minhyun asking him if he wants to tag along this weekend—to a new cat café with Daniel or to see an exhibit at a nearby museum with Minhyun.

Seongwoo’s body is tired and so is his mind. With exhaustion coursing through his veins, Seongwoo hates how little control he has over his mouth and how it decides to betray for the nth time.

"Sungwoon, how can a person exactly sort his feelings for two persons?"  
  
Sungwoon is already by the door but throws a glance back at him. "Will this lead to more hypothetical questions because I have no time for hypotheticals, so just spill if you have something."  
  
"I just asked one question—"  
  
"Is this for a friend?"

Seongwoo hesitates for two seconds, choosing between lying or just spilling everything. He’s too burdened of these confusing emotions. He needs to dislodge some of it.

"It's...it's for me."  
  
Sungwoon’s eyes widen in surprise and instead of going out of the door to proceed on his shift, he locks it behind him instead. He turns to give his full attention to Seongwoo.

"Hold up, two persons? There’s another other than Daniel? Fuck, Seongwoo, you're not even dating yet and you're messing around with another? What are you?"  
  
Seongwoo throws himself down the couch, "A douche, I know. But I'm trying to sort it out so help me, would you?"  
  
Sungwoon mutters a  _what the hell_ under his breath before he joins Seongwoo on the couch, eyes still comically wide. "So, who's the other? God, I already feel sorry for them."  
  
There’s no point in backing out now. Might as well try and get some advice out of this slip up.

"It's Minhyun."  
  
"Fuck—” Sungwoon chokes on air, “What? Your best friend?" His jaw drops even more while he tries to processes what he just said— "Just what exactly led to this mess?"  
  
Seongwoo groans and moves to the remaining space the couch could offer to distance himself from Sungwoon’s prodding finger that's stabbing him on the chest. "Minhyun and I have been messing around."  
  
"Exactly what kind of messing?" Seongwoo turns to Sungwoon to give him a look of disbelief but the other just shrugs and raises a brow at him. "What, I need details to help."  
  
"Kissing and...some other stuff—" Sungwoon gasps and Seongwoo hits him on the back, "but not  _that_ stuff, god, Sungwoon, you're killing me with your reactions."  
  
"And Minhyun lets you? Mess with him, I mean? I didn't expect this. He doesn't look like the kind of guy."  
  
"Exactly, that's why I'm confused. He just lets me."

Sungwoon falls silent, still a little surprised about the information. Who knew Hwang Minhyun could also mess around? With his best friend, of all people.

"Wouldn't that be some sort of indication that he has feelings for you? Because if not, he would've pushed you away the first time, wouldn't he?"  
  
Seongwoo's heart races with Sungwoon's words.

Of course, he has thought of the possibility too. Minhyun is exactly just what they said: he's not the type to mess around. So Seongwoo couldn’t help but think that maybe, maybe Minhyun doesn’t push him away because he might have feelings for him,  _too_.  
  
"I-I'm not sure."

But then his mind drifts back to what happened during their vacation—Jonghyun—and the few times he's caught Jonghyun's name flashing on Minhyun's phone. They've reconnected and Seongwoo feels selfish for hating it. But then again, Jonghyun isn’t someone Seongwoo could easily replace in Minhyun's heart. First boyfriend. First heartbreak. It's almost impossible to compete with firsts.  
  
"He could very well still be in love with his ex." Seongwoo says, voice laced with insecurity.  
  
Sungwoon's mouth downturns at the sight of Seongwoo’s defeated look.  
  
"So, okay, you're messing around. But what's the problem?"  
  
"It may have..” he strings at the last syllable and Sungwoon nods his head encouragingly, hung in anticipation, “triggered some feelings, on the way?"  
  
His friend falls eerily quiet at his confession and Seongwoo grows antsier with each passing second.

Sungwoon’s words are etched with disbelief when he finally speaks. "You've...You've fallen for him."  
  
"I wouldn't say that exactly," Seongwoo tries to explain but then Sungwoon looks at him sharply, "but I'm positive I have feelings for him now."  
  
Sungwoon could only shake his head, heaving at deep sigh as he goes over in his head what he just discovered. "Seongwoo, what mess have you gone into."  
  
It's already past 8 pm and Sungwoon should have taken over the cashier by now and Seongwoo should also be well on his way home, but with the bomb that has just been dropped, neither of them can raise themselves off their seats.  
  
"And Daniel, what about Daniel?"  
  
At the mention of the younger's name, Seongwoo feels the confusion bubble inside him once more.  
  
"That is the problem. I know for a fact that I like Daniel, too, and it's killing me."  
  
Sungwoon hums at him, throwing his head back to look at the ceiling. "Well, to start with, you have to evaluate if you feel the same kind of  _like_  for the both of them."  
  
Seongwoo turns his head to his friend's direction, brows stitched together.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
Sungwoon side eyes him before fixing his eyes back to the ceiling. "No offense, Seongwoo, but you have this tendency of mixing up genuine feelings with plain convenience.  
  
"Do you ever think the reason you like Daniel is just because you've grown comfortable with him over the years? Because you’re used to being together with him, that’s why you find things so easy. Because if  _yes_ , then I think it's not Daniel that you  _actually like._ It's the things that you've associated or have done with him that you're holding onto.  
  
"Same goes with Minhyun. Are you sure it's really his person that you like or it's just the new things you've found with him? Like, kissing him is great 'cause you've never imagined kissing your best friend before. Or maybe he's just like a breath of fresh air from the usual things you've done with Daniel?"  
  
There’s a pang of pain that claws on Seongwoo’s chest. He’s not sure if it’s because he’s hurt by Sungwoon’s words or because he’s just plain guilty. But the more he considers his friend’s words, the more he thinks it might be true.

And suddenly, Jonghyun flashes back in his mind again, but now for an entirely different reason.  
  
"Someone said kind of the same thing to me, about confusing the fact of being in love and love itself."  
  
Sungwoo nods at him, "Exactly. That's two different things, Seongwoo."  
  
"That's what he said, too."  
  
Sungwoon rests his elbows on his knees, letting his eyes examine his friend's frazzled state once more.  
  
"So it boils down to this: are you in love with the person themselves or just with the idea of being with them?"  
  
Sungwoon is patient as he waits for Seongwoo's reply. He doesn't prod further and watches the process how the spark in Seongwoo's eyes drift from confusion to realization.  
  
Seongwoo starts with careful words, "With Daniel, things are easy and always fun. I like how we are because we're compatible. We don't argue much. I can't even remember if we ever fought. He's a sweetheart and he always sees to it that I'm happy whenever I'm with him.  
  
"But with Minhyun," Seongwoo doesn't notice it but a smile comes to his lips as he thinks of his best friend and all of the stupid things they’ve done together, "We're the exact opposite. He nags a lot and we fight over little things. But, but these are also things that make me think being with him is special. It's more than just being happy and having things easy. We're a mess together but I think it’s the kind of mess I’m willing to sign myself into.”

Sungwoon smiles, clapping Seongwoo gently on the shoulder.

"I guess you have the answer by now."  
  
Seongwoo's heartbeat quickens. It's beating so fast it’s threatening to leap out of his chest. All the confusion fogging up his mind has suddenly cleared, and all that is filling his mind now is Minhyun and—

Seongwoo's eyes sparkle in realization.

  
  
"Shit. I'm in love with Minhyun."

  
He shoots up from the couch, scrambling on his feet to pull his bag out of the closet. "I-I need to talk to him."  
  
He types a quick message to Minhyun, his hands trembling as he does.

  
 **insufferable**  
where are you

  
Sungwoon grows concerned while he watches the other restlessly shuffle across the room, biting on his nail as he waits for a reply.

"Seongwoo, sit back down. There's more things you need to figure out—"  
  
Seongwoo's phone pings.

  
  
 **emperor ugly**  
i'm at jaehwan's, why?

  
He's quick to hoist his bag to his back and Sungwoon staggers after him to grab his arm, "You have to settle things with Daniel too!" but Seongwoo only shakes the hold off, managing to slip from the other. He dashes out of the door in no time, leaving Sungwoon gaping in disbelief.

"God, he's too impulsive."

* * *

  
  
"Seongwoo?"  
  
Jaehwan watches Minhyun’s brows furrow as he glances at his phone for the nth time for the past minute.  
  
"Yeah, he asked where I was but then he didn't reply anymore."  
  
"Oh." Jaehwan focuses back on the screen, pressing play to continue their game. “Weird."  
  
Minhyun chuckles, his shoulders bouncing along as he sways to the side just like his character on the screen. "He's always been kind of weird."

Jaehwan throws him a side glance and relief washes through him when he sees the smile still lingering on his friend’s lips. Minhyun has been smiling a lot lately, and Jaehwan bets everything in his life it’s because of Seongwoo.  
  
"You've got that dopey look on your face again.” he teases, nudging Minhyun’s knee with his, “Seongwoo could be weird all he wants and you'd still love him. God, you're so whipped."  
  
"You'll get to this point too, with Sungwoon."  
  
"I pray not." Jaehwan says fast—then yells—his character has died and Minhyun wiggles on his seat in victory. Jaehwan throws the controller down the carpeted floor, agitated by his losing streak against Minhyun.

"I guess that comes with time, you've been in love with him for a long time."  
  
"Maybe, yeah." Minhyun says it so casually but Jaehwan doesn't miss the softness that comes with it.  
  
"Lucky for you, Jonghyun is an angel and didn't curse you for what happened."

Luck is an understatement. Minhyun could very well consider Jonghyun as a blessing. He knows no other who could be as selfless and merciful as Jonghyun.  
  
"He's the one who called me out about Seongwoo, you know."  
  
"I figured. If I were him, I would've noticed too."  
  
Minhyun snorts at him, placing his controller down the floor too. "You wouldn't have."  
  
Jaehwan sneers, but it doesn’t hold anything.

“But gotta give it to you, man." Minhyun catches Jaehwan’s contemplative look and throws him an inquisitive stare, "I know I'm on the same boat for falling for my best friend too, but I can't imagine the pain of keeping it in for such a long time. Two years! How can you love the same person for so long without telling them?"  
  
Minhyun stretches his legs and let his back lean against the edge of Jaehwan’s bed; thoughts of Seongwoo plaguing his mind again. "I know. It's difficult. I don't know how to tell Seongwoo that it has been just one person all this time—still the same person. If only he knows."  
  
Jaehwan follows him and leans back against  his bed too, making a noise of agreement at the back of his throat. "I would've died if I were you, you continued to love him secretly for two years! I couldn't have bear the pain."  
  
"You can. It comes with love, so you'll learn how." Minhyun’s eyes crinkle when he smiles.

* * *

 

The door is unlocked when Seongwoo arrives. The lights are on but the living room is empty. He’s made his presence known by knocking on the door a few times, but no acknowledgement came. He tiptoes further into Jaehwan and Sungwoon’s shared apartment and hears two different voices once he’s near the corridor leading to the bedrooms.

He recognizes it immediately as Minhyun and Jaehwan’s.

He walks towards the door of Jaehwan’s room, making as little noise as possible.

“—love the same person for so long without telling him?" he hears Jaehwan speak— _Oh_ , Seongwoo thought, are they talking about—

"I know. It's difficult. I don't know how to tell Seongwoo that it has been just one person all this time—still the same person. If only he knows."

 

Seongwoo freezes on his spot outside the door.

 

_Still….the same person?_

 

There’s only one person on the list—Jonghyun.

The color drains out of Seongwoo’s face, his body suddenly turning numb.

 

"I would've died if I were you, you continued to love him secretly for two years! I couldn't have bear the pain."

 

 _Continued_ …

So it’s still him.

It’s still Jonghyun.

Seongwoo was never in the picture.

 

Seongwoo’s body is on autopilot when he turns around and dashes out of the door. His body is cold but the tears threatening to spill from his eyes are burning.

The warmth of the realization of his feelings is now replaced by the biting coldness of rejection. As fast as he went high over his newfound feelings for Minhyun, it comes down equally fast in an ear-splitting crash.

He doesn’t know where to go, just lets his legs carry him wherever. One thing he knows is that he can’t bring himself to face Minhyun tonight.

 

 _I was just played at_.

* * *

 

 

Another week passed and things changed  _again._ But this time it’s for the worst.

Seongwoo is avoiding him. He doesn’t talk, doesn’t respond to his touches. He only does so whenever it’s completely necessary, but overall, he has almost ghosted himself on Minhyun. Seongwoo was never a morning person but for the past week, Minhyun wakes up to Seongwoo no longer in their apartment. He comes home either to Seongwoo already locking himself in his room or to an empty apartment when the latter decides not to come home for the night.

He asks him, but the other just finds ways to escape. He doesn’t even meet his eyes when they talk. He keeps on running away and Minhyun’s trying and trying to catch him, but fails every single time. There’s no use running after someone who doesn’t want to be caught. So Minhyun tries to give him space; stops himself from advancing too much, holds himself back from pulling the other into his arms because he misses him so much. He doesn’t understand where things went wrong—was it his fault? Did he do something wrong?

 

“Seongwoo, please, tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“You’re lying to me.”

Seongwoo meets his eyes, the first time in the entire week.

“Tell me who’s lying here, Minhyun.”

 

When Minhyun pulls him in his arms, it’s either he struggles free or remains motionless. When he kisses him, he doesn’t kiss back, doesn’t kiss him desperately like he did just weeks ago, doesn’t tangle his fingers in Minhyun's hair anymore—

 

Minhyun’s heart is breaking.

 

Just when he thought things are going well, the universe is once again conspiring against him.

When will he ever get his happiness?

* * *

 

 

“I think he already made up his mind.”

Jaehwan’s eyes are sorrowful, but it doesn’t compare to Minhyun’s bloodshot eyes and the darkening bags under his eyes. This is the worst he’s seen Minhyun ever.

“Are you sure about it?”

Minhyun rubs at his eyes and Jaehwan wants to swat his hand away because the redness around his eyes would only worsen—but he keeps his hands to himself. He can’t bring himself to nag on Minhyun this time, not when his friend is in this state.

“He’s basically rejecting me the entire week and no matter how hard I try to figure things out, he shuts me down. I feel like I’m forcing myself into him.”

Minhyun hasn’t been sleeping well these days, trying to wait for Seongwoo to come home so they could talk—but he only ends up worrying his head off when Seongwoo doesn’t come home. He learns Seongwoo has been crashing at Sewoon’s lately, just coming home to get some of his things and fleeing before Minhyun comes home. Minhyun’s mind is a mess—what did he do? What did he do to drive Seongwoo away from him? He lies awake most nights, mind empty as he stares at the bare ceiling.

 

Nothing.

 

“And it’s coincidentally almost a month,” he says ruefully, “it’s just about time.”

“Are you really,” Jaehwan licks his lips, “really giving up on him this time?”

 

Minhyun still wants to fight. Damn, he'd always choose to fight for Seongwoo, but his heart wavers at this single thought:  _Is there even anything left to fight for?_

 

Minhyun’s lips quiver when he speaks. “I have no choice.”

* * *

 

“Hey, Dan.”

“Oh, Minhyun-hyung? What’s up?”

“Are you free this afternoon?”

“Yeah, I am. You need something, hyung?”

“Let’s meet.”

 

* * *

 

It’s the end of finals weeks, well into two weeks of ignoring each other’s existence.

But today, Minhyun has to do something. So he waits outside of the classroom for Seongwoo to finish his exam.

When Seongwoo comes out, tired eyes and sluggish form, he doesn’t get to react before Minhyun takes him by the wrist and leads him out of the building. In his baffled state, he only manages to ask a  _where are we going_  before Minhyun’s already backing the car out of the parking lot.

“Somewhere.” Comes Minhyun’s terse reply.

 

They don’t speak, still, awkward silence filling the entire car ride.

Seongwoo slumps on his seat instead, the air brushing against his face feels kind of nice and the color of the sky bleeding into a soft periwinkle is absolutely beautiful. It gives him momentary peace from the chaos inside his mind, the cause of it being the very man beside him.

They stop mid-way, Minhyun getting out of the car to quickly order a box of pizza on a random pizza place they pass. When he comes back, he opens the box to take one slice from the whole, offering it to Seongwoo first. Seongwoo takes it, muttering a low thank you and turns his gaze back outside the window again.

Minhyun doesn’t eat and continues to drive.

 

Night has fallen and Seongwoo still doesn’t have an ounce of idea where they’re heading and he doesn’t have any intention to ask Minhyun. He patiently remains seated with the pizza box on his lap.

“Seongwoo,” Minhyun takes one hand off the wheel, offering it to Seongwoo with his palm up, “hold my hand.”

Seongwoo’s eyes flit from Minhyun’s hand to his face.

“Please?” Minhyun begs softly.

_Just for tonight. Just—_

“Okay.” He takes it, lacing their fingers slowly. Seongwoo thinks this is unfair. How their fingers puzzle together perfectly. They’re perfect and it’s unfair because this hand is not for his to hold.

Beyond his conflicting thoughts, Seongwoo doesn’t catch how Minhyun stares at him with a sad smile on his lips.

 

They car finally stops.

Minhyun has brought them at a hilltop, somewhere north that provides an overlooking view of the entire city.

Minhyun leads him out of the car, taking his hand into his again easily.

Words are sparse between them but Minhyun hopes Seongwoo could feel his desperation in the way he’s holding on his hand like his life is depending on it. The soft breeze from this afternoon has turned much colder and he steps closer to Seongwoo who thankfully doesn’t move away, pressing their shoulders together as they lean back against the hood of the car.

Seongwoo looks straight ahead, admiring how the chaotic city he knows glows serenely before his eyes. Minhyun chooses to look at Seongwoo instead, taking in how Seongwoo’s cheeks and nose are turning red from the cold and how his fringe sway softly with the soft breeze that passes.

He couldn’t hold himself back from sweeping the hair out of the other’s eyes. Seongwoo turns to him, eyes a little wide from surprise.

Minhyun’s heart twists in pain at how he looks achingly beautiful tonight.

 

_One last time._

 

He cups Seongwoo’s face, leaning in so slowly and presses his lips against the other in the most bittersweet kiss. He pours his everything in it; the love, the longing, the hurt, the hope, the regret.

And when he pulls away, he feels emptier than he’s ever been in his life.

 

“Let’s stop.” Minhyun's voice shakes and his hands tremble a little when he caresses Seongwoo’s cheeks for the last time. He hopes his voice doesn’t give away the bitterness that’s trying to crawl its way out of his mouth. “I’d say let’s end this, but there’s nothing to end in the first place so I’ll just say let’s stop.”

He takes a step back with his head lowered. He buries his trembling hands into his pockets instead, letting out a half-hearted chuckle.

“You have Daniel, and,” He fights back the tears in his eyes, casting Seongwoo a tight-lipped smile, “we’re just best friends who mess around, right?”

 

Minhyun waits, waits for Seongwoo to say no and tell him he’s wrong. He’s waiting for a crushing hug, a silencing kiss—but  _nothing_.

 

This is how it ends.

Long years of secrets and hopes of a love being returned. It ends with a crash; one that only he can hear. The crash comes in a word, spoken softly out of the mouth he’s learned to love and will now learn to miss.

Never has Minhyun thought he’ll ever hate such a simple word.

 

“Okay.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @rvjoy07 on twt is hosting Wanna One Fanfiction Awards! They're already accepting nominations and you can submit yours here [ https://wannaoneffawards.tumblr.com/ ]  
> You can also tell your friends! It would be of great help :)


	11. idiots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the heart is stupid when it loves, but even more so when it hurts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! it's been a month! sorry for taking so long to update but real life sucks i had to ghost for a whole month. anyways, i'm back! hope you like this one :D

Everything's falling apart.

Seongwoo should have expected this.

He knew they couldn’t just go back to normal, not with all the things that had happened in the past months.

Minhyun went home to Busan the morning after their drive to the hilltop, leaving a measly note stuck on their refrigerator. For the past two years he’s lived with Minhyun, never have they gone back to their hometowns during semestral breaks; choosing to spend their meager week-long break just lazing around their apartment instead.

But this time, Seongwoo thinks maybe this will do them good: spending time away from each other.

But whenever he comes back home at night to a quiet apartment and walking past Minhyun’s slightly ajar door to see it empty, he couldn’t help but think how lonely it is without the other around.

He trudges to his own room and flings himself across the bed, checking his phone only to find himself disappointed once again to see no message from Minhyun.

_Stop expecting, you both agreed to stop this._

He chucks his phone underneath his pillow and decides to sleep.

That way Minhyun couldn’t plague his mind for a couple of hours.

* * *

 

Seongwoo wakes up to a rapping against his door.

He opens one bleary eye to see sunlight already filtering through the blinds. He reaches for his phone to check the time _. 8:17 a.m_.

He groans. It’s too early to deal with another human being.

Seongwoo buries his head under his pillow in attempt to block the sound of knocking, but it doesn’t end. In the end he drags himself out of his bed, grumbling under his breath as he not-so-forcefully yanks the door open.

“Hyung!”

Seongwoo glares at the sunshine personified who’s standing at his door, a plastic bag on hand.

“Dan, what are you doing here so early?”

“I got you breakfast!” Daniel lets himself in much to Seongwoo’s chagrin. The younger goes straight to the kitchen, taking plates and utensils to set the food on the table.

“Go wash up, hyung. So we can eat together.”

Seongwoo could only scratch his head, mind still not coherent enough to rat on the younger for disturbing his sleep. He  robotically goes back to his bedroom.

A shower would do him good, his mind supplies. Might as well start his day as a fully functioning human feeling fresh.

 

When he comes back, Daniel has already set the table. The younger puts his phone down once Seongwoo sits across him, immediately offering him the omelet he’s bought from the café Seongwoo loves. They eat in comfortable silence, Daniel smiling softly at how Seongwoo’s cheeks bunch up as he stuffs himself with food.

“Minhyun hyung still hasn’t come back?”

Seongwoo stops midway from feeding himself. He gulps and straightens his back instead, the spoon making a clinking sound as it meets the plate when he sets it down. He takes a napkin and wipes his mouth instead of answering Daniel’s question.

“Did something happen? Did you guys fight?” Daniel tone is subdued, careful not to sound intrusive.

“Something like that.” Seongwoo’s reply is nonchalant and it picks on Daniel’s curiosity even more.

“What happened? I know you guys always fight, but not something like this.”

Seongwoo mutely reaches for the glass of water. He avoids Daniel’s inquisitive eyes and fixes his eyes on his plate instead. “Dan, just eat, please.”

He reaches for the plate of pancakes and takes two pieces to place it on Daniel’s already cleared plate. He hopes the younger would take this hint to not talk about the matter anymore.  “It’s still too early, my brain isn’t fully functioning.”

Daniel submits to Seongwoo’s order easily, biting on his bottom lip to keep himself silent.

They do not talk about Minhyun for the rest of the day.

* * *

 

“Daniel!”

Daniel raises his head to see a smiling Jisung, still in his apron and a tray on his hand. Daniel greets back in glee while the older seats himself down across Daniel.

“Seongwoo’s off duty today, he didn’t tell you?”

“Ah, I know, hyung. Just came in to have some coffee.” He taps on the rim of the cup sitting against the table and Jisung’s mouth _oh_ ’s in realization.

The chat is light. Talks about preparations for another semester with Daniel ranting his fears out to the older about a major subject he’ll be taking under a notorious professor. Jisung tries to cheer him up with a clap on his shoulder and a promise of blended cream rocky road on his first day of school. Daniel cheers at the offer and makes sure to curl his pinky with Jisung's to seal the deal.

Daniel is a ray of sunshine. Jisung has been a witness of how the younger exudes happiness and warmth everywhere he goes. So when Daniel’s smile drops the moment the chatter dwindles to an end, Jisung easily notices it and couldn’t help but ask the younger out of genuine concern.

“What’s wrong?” Jisung asks gently, “Something is bothering you.”

Daniel’s shoulders are hunched, his fringe falling to cover his eyes. “Hyung, am I selfish?”

Jisung processes the words slowly, confusion stirring his mind with the younger’s words. He couldn’t even come up with a sentence in his mind that has Daniel’s name and the word selfish together.

“What makes you think of that?”

Daniel licks his lips before speaking, softly, slowly. “Am I selfish for trying to keep on holding on,” he encircles the cup with his palms, pressing against it firmly, “holding on to Seongwoo hyung?”

Daniel’s voice drip with insecurity and Jisung’s heart breaks a little. More so when the younger tries to pass the question off with a half smile.

“What happened, Daniel?”

“Nothing,” he says a little too hesitantly before adding—“yet.”

“Dan—"

Daniel sucks in breath, voice a little shaky as he speaks, “I told him I’ll only let go when there’s someone else.”

Jisung sinks his teeth on his bottom lip. No matter how nosy he could get with his friends’ lives sometimes, he makes sure to leave matters of the hearts untouched. And so this information comes as a surprise, all the more when he thought things are fine between the two.

 _Things aren’t always what they seem to be_ , Jisung’s subconscious reminds him.

The older treads cautiously, careful not to tug on loose ends that would unravel the younger bare.

“Is..is there someone else?”

Jisung witnesses the saddest smile Daniel could ever give. How he wishes he could unsee it.

“I think there always has been,” Daniel leans back against the chair, sweeping his fringe to the side as he tries to stay upbeat by flashing one bunny smile. Jisung sees, though, that his eyes say otherwise.  “I’ve just been stubborn trying to stay blind about it.”

Jisung closes his eyes. He wants to erase how Daniel’s eyes screams pain despite the smile tugging on his lips.

“Then, what are you going to do?”

“I’ll be holding onto what I said. Until there’s someone else, I’m staying. Until he tells me himself, I’ll hold on.”

The world is indeed cruel. Why does it always have to be the nicer ones? Don’t they deserve happiness the most?

But alas, he cannot do anything about.

He resigns with a defeated sigh.

“Daniel, you’re only hurting yourself.”

Daniel’s eyes twinkle. Jisung hoped it wasn’t because of the tears the younger is trying to keep at bay.

“What can I do?” Daniel shakes his head and smiles ruefully. “I’m an idiot, hyung.”

* * *

 

Minhyun came back. He came back two days ago but hasn’t gone home to his and Seongwoo’s shared apartment.

A part of him screams _coward_ , another says _it’s okay_ , it’s the right thing. They both need time away from each other anyway.

Youngmin has been generous enough to cater him without much question. Sewoon came over on the second night of his stay and just looked at him questioningly for a short second, apart from that Minhyun’s heard nothing and he’s beyond grateful for this couple.

The temperature has plummeted, it's freezing. Minhyun wears his warmest, trusted coat before going out. He needs his daily fix of caffeine before he goes hunting for the books on his course list for this semester.

He enters the first café he first finds and makes a beeline to the counter. He orders fast and his drink is served just under five minutes. He’s about to turn on his heels to head out when he’s met with a familiar face, making him stop on his track.

“Minhyun?”

“Jonghyun, hi.” He greets warmly, wrapping an arm around his friend.

Jonghyun pats his back in response.

“How are you?”

“I’m good. Are you alone?”

Jonghyun nods and gestures at a vacant table. “Yeah, we can get a table together?”

Jonghyun leads them, a strawberry freeziccino on one hand (honestly, Jonghyun’s body has no concept of temperature. Minhyun has long learned of this and figured not to ask questions why Jonghyun insists on wearing long sleeve shirts throughout the year) and gestures for Minhyun to the seat across him.

“How are you and Seongwoo?”

Jonghyun’s question is direct but nothing short of sincere. His friend’s eyes are shining in anticipation and Minhyun couldn’t help but feel disappointed of himself once more when the smile slips off Jonghyun’s face, probably upon seeing the smile fading off Minhyun’s own.

“Minhyun, please tell me it’s not what I think it is.”

Minhyun muster another smile, but this one apologetic. “Maybe we’re just not for each other.”

“How can you even say that?” Jonghyun’s voice hitches, clearly agitated at the news. “What even happened? Things were going well from the vacation for you two though?”

“A lot. Lots of things happened and you could only hold on for long, you know?”

He knows. Jonghyun knows very well for he’s been in the same situation two years ago with the very person sitting across him. And it saddens him, how there’s really just a thin line between holding on and letting go.

“Minhyun, when are you ever going to fight for your own happiness?”

Minhyun lets his eyes meet Jonghyun’s sad ones and allows the smile he’s been forcing on his lips to slip away. 

“But what can I do when it’s not me who can give him happiness?”

“You can’t say that.” Jonghyun replies indignantly, “You haven’t even asked him, haven’t even told him you love him.”

Hope is a cruel word. The amount of _what ifs_ plaguing his mind makes his stomach churn and has made him lose precious amounts of sleep over the past week. Minhyun doesn’t know if he wants to deal with it any longer.

“What’s done is done.” Minhyun says, “I’ll be fine.”

Jonghyun remains unconvinced. His friend could only cast him a look, one that makes Minhyun’s insides curl in guilt and disappointment.

“When will you stop lying to yourself, Hwang Minhyun.”

They fall into silence as they both turn their attention to their respective drinks. The warm chocolate sloshing against Minhyun’s throat does nothing to dispel the coldness that has seeped into his feet and hands over the course of his conversation with Jonghyun.

He clears his throat and picks on another topic in his mind to stir the atmosphere on a lighter note.

“Anyway, enough about me. Are you coming to Minki’s party next Saturday?”

The look Jonghyun gives him is unimpressed. He knows very well how Minhyun is trying to steer away from their previous conversation. He sighs, though, and let’s Minhyun have his way.

“Not sure yet. Depends whether we're still alive after the first week of class.”

“You should come. You might find someone.”

Minhyun teases lightly in hopes to earn a laugh from his friend—what he does not expect, though, is for Jonghyun to turn beet red, short fingers coming up to mindlessly pick on the material of his cotton sweatshirt.

Minhyun catches on quickly. A grin blossoming on his lips. “Oh,” he says with a lilt of his voice which quickly earns him a glare from other. “So there is someone already, is there?”

Minhyun doesn’t expect Jonghyun’s cheeks to turn a shade darker—but they do—and Minhyun has to cover his mouth to stop himself from giggling too loud while his friend tries to fan the flush offf his cheeks.

“Shut up, Hwang. Mind your own business with Seongwoo before poking into mine.”

It takes about a minute for Minhyun to stop teasing Jonghyun. The shorter one kicks him on the shin underneath the table which effectively shuts him up. Jonghyun smiles contentedly as Minhyun checks his foot with a scrunch.

When Minhyun’s eyes land back on Jonghyun, they sparkle with a soft glow.

In this world full of heartbreaks and pain, Jonghyun does deserve to be spared and loved to the fullest.

“I’m happy for you, Hyun-ah.”

Jonghyun smiles, albeit it does not reach his eyes.

“Hope I can say the same to you.”

* * *

 

When Daniel comesout of the café, it’s with a takeout box of a cake Seongwoo likes. He’s quick on feet to reach his car, one hand digging for his keys from the pocket of his coat. When he manages to open the door, he securely places the box on the passenger seat and rounds the car to get to the driver’s seat. Before he ducks inside though, a familiar face catches his eyes from across the street.

A cold breeze passes and forces Daniel to go inside.

He’ll just have to ask Seongwoo to confirm when he drops by.

 

* * *

 

“Hyung, is Minhyun hyung back?”

Daniel asks from the living room while Seongwoo fixes them something warm to drink in the kitchen. Seongwoo places the cakes Daniel has brought into a plate before he pads back to the living room to place them on the table.

“I don’t know. We haven’t seen each other yet.”

Daniel hums, breaking a piece of the cake with his fork. “I think I saw him at a café near the university.” He says in between munching. “He was with someone.”

Seongwoo turns slowly to Daniel, trying to mask his curiosity with the neutral tone of his voice.

“Can you,” his throat suddenly itches, but he manages to carry his question out in a not-so inquisitive way. “Can you describe the person he’s with?”

Daniel stares off while he tries to remember the features of the guy he’s seen with Minhyun. “Think he has a small built?” He nods and recounts some more, “Pretty eyes. Cute too.”

Those words sealed Seongwoo’s suspicion.

_Small built with pretty eyes? Huh. Who else could it be?_

“Do you know him, hyung?”

Seongwoo draws his legs to his chest and decides to stuff his mouth with sugar to counter the bitterness snaking on his tongue.

He lets Daniel’s question hang unanswered in the air.

* * *

 

The second semester starts without Minhyun and Seongwoo catching each other’s shadows. Seongwoo tries not to think about it hard—about where Minhyun is possibly crashing and if he’s okay—as he passes by Minhyun’s door on his way to class.

He tries to avoid the Science Department’s building as much as possible, deeming himself still not ready to run into Minhyun.

Well, the avoiding game could only stretch on for so long.

When Thursday rolls, he catches Minhyun by the door in the midst of taking his shoes off while Seongwoo’s on his way to get himself a glass of water in the kitchen. He glances at the wall clock, it’s past 10 p.m., and when his eyes fall back on Minhyun, the other remains standing by the door, frozen.

“Hi, Seongwoo.”

Seongwoo hates himself. Hates how those two words have so much effect on him; It grips his heart hard and renders him breathless.

How can Minhyun’s voice have this much power over him?

“Hi,” he croaks, hiding his hands behind his back. They're starting to turn cold out of nowhere. “Back so late?”

Minhyun nods and pads further into the living room. He stops at a safe distance away from Seongwoo. “I’m just fetching some clothes and my books.”

“Oh.”

 _Oh. You’re not going to stay?_ He wants to asks, his mind screams to ask.

But he bites on his tongue to keep the words from spilling. He only nods at Minhyun and proceeds on his way to the kitchen, listening closely to Minhyun’s footsteps before they disappear when Minhyun closes the door to his bedroom.

Seongwoo goes back to his own bedroom after drinking a glass of water. His ears unwillingly picking on the sound of movements from the bedroom across his. He tries to distract himself by stuffing his earphones to his ears and blasting songs at the maximum volume. He succeeds and loses himself after a few songs. But when he’s brought back out of the distraction, he realizes it’s almost midnight and notices the house has fallen quiet once more.

He goes out to the living room to see Minhyun’s pair of sneakers no longer by the door.

He left again without saying goodbye.

Seongwoo is frustrated. He’s frustrated at Minhyun, frustrated at how things are right now, but most of all, frustrated with himself with how he’s feeling right now.

Didn’t he agree with Minhyun already that they’ll stop?

Then why is he still feeling this way? Why is he so worked up over a simple thing such as Minhyun leaving without saying goodbye to him?

_Seongwoo, what right do you fucking think you have to feel this way?_

Minhyun could leave all he fucking wants and Seongwoo shouldn’t be feeling an ounce of anger. They were nothing to begin with. And so, Seongwoo shouldn’t feel like his heart is being torn apart by the fact that Minhyun has chosen to leave than to stay.

Fuck unsolicited feelings.

He stomps his way back to his bedroom, searches for his phone and calls a number on his speed dial.

The heart is stupid when in love, but even more so when hurt.

 

“Hey, Dan. Can I come over?”

* * *

 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

Seongwoo lets himself in, shrugging his coat off and hanging it on the rack by the door. Daniel trails behind him, his face marred with confusion. He tries to coax an explanation from the older about his sudden trip to his flat. Sure, Seongwoo could come over anytime he wants, but something isn’t right about how Seongwoo looks so crestfallen tonight. Daniel just wants to know, but it’s proving to be difficult when the older remains steadfast about being mum about it.

In the end he just lets Seongwoo be and runs his fingers through his hair in contrite.

He goes to check his fridge if he has something to offer.

“Did you have dinner already?”

Seongwoo budges on his position in the sofa for the first time, only to answer a meek _I forgot to eat_ under his breath.

Daniel couldn’t help the long sigh passing through his lips.

“This is why Minhyun hyung keeps pestering me to monitor you. Can you even survive by yourself?” Daniel murmurs as he goes through the containers of food his mom left for him during her last visit.

At the mention of that certain name, Seongwoo perks on his seat and turns his head to Daniel.

“What did you say?”

Daniel pulls the container with some left over bulgogi and places it in the microwave to reheat. He walks back to the living room and dumps himself beside Seongwoo.

“He keeps texting me to check if you’re still alive.” He says a little exasperatedly, but the way his eyes scan Seongwoo’s face screams nothing but concern. “Honestly, what is going on between you two?”

Seongwoo licks his lips in apprehension as he tries to connect the dots.

“Was that why you kept bringing me breakfast over the break?”

“Yeah, Minhyun hyung texts me every morning to ask if you have eaten.” The microwave beeps and Daniel goes back to the kitchen. Seongwoo finds himself walking behind the younger, staring at younger’s back as he moves around to place the bulgogi on a plate.

“He’s been..weird lately. He called me for a talk before he went home to Busan.”

Seongwoo’s bros furrow. How come he managed to talk to Daniel and not him before leaving?

“He told me I was a good guy, and thanked me for being patient. He said he hopes I’ll continue being like this. And that you’ll come around eventually.” Daniel moves to grab a cup, moving back to the fridge to get a carton of milk. Seongwoo continues to watch him listlessly but his mind is alert to process every single word Daniel says.

“He said you’re stubborn, but you’ll definitely be worth it in the end.”

The words echo in his head loudly. Minhyun, the ever stubborn Minhyun, saying these things when he himself chose to leave Seongwoo’s side. Seongwoo feels the start of the stinging in his eyes. His fingers curl into fists and his shoulders start to shake.

And suddenly, Seongwoo doesn’t want to lie anymore.

Not to Daniel, not to himself.

“Daniel.” Seongwoo’s voice is just above a whisper, but Daniel hears him and stops his movements. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry but I won’t be able to come around.”

Daniel feels the ice starting to mount on his feet, freezing him on his spot. But he fights it, fights the numbness and turns around to look at Seongwoo. And when he does, he’s met with a look he wishes he never gets to see.

Seongwoo is crying and his face shows nothing but guilt and sadness.

“I’m horrible for stringing you along this far. I have already hurt you so much when all you deserve is to be loved.” He tries to wipe the tears away, but a fresh batch just keeps falling.  “I don’t want to hurt you more, I do not want to keep lying to myself too.”

The guilt weighing him down is getting bigger and bigger. In the end, Seongwoo can only hang his head low, he no longer has the will to look at Daniel in the eyes. “So please, let me go.”

Daniel knows this day will come. It’s just a matter of days. He knows, he knows it—but fuck—nothing could ever prepare him from the crippling pain making its way to his chest, knocking the air off his lungs and killing him alive. He loves Seongwoo so much and he wished nothing but the older to love him the back.

But sadly, we can love as much as we want, but we can’t always expect for the same thing in return.

“I did tell you I’ll stay until there’s someone else.” Daniel starts shakily, his steps towards Seongwoo just as equally. “There is someone now in your heart, isn’t there?”

There’s already a name ringing inside Daniel’s head. He’s been trying to cast a blind eye over the warnings all this time, but now that the end is here, Daniel just wants to hear the name from Seongwoo’s mouth directly.

“It’s Minhyun hyung, isn’t it?”

Seongwoo nods. “Yes.”

Daniel lets himself breathe. Everything is out now and unfortunately, there’s nothing for Daniel to fight for anymore. He’s been selfish enough, trying to keep Seongwoo to himself when a part of him knows that he’ll never have all of Seongwoo. Because if Daniel’s going to be honest, all this time, he knows Minhyun holds a bigger part of Seongwoo’s heart; best friend or something more.

“Ah, this sucks.” Daniel tries to laugh the pain off but the tears pouring out of his eyes betray him.

“I’m not gonna lie and say I’m okay, but,” he takes the final step to Seongwoo, this time not to win his heart but to finally let him go. “I’ll keep my promise.”

He takes Seongwoo’s hands into his and squeezes them softly. “Thank you for letting me love you.”

Seongwoo’s tears pour even harder. He doesn’t deserve this kindness, not from Daniel above everyone else.

“Daniel, you deserve someone who will love you wholeheartedly. Not someone despicable like me.”

“The heart wants what it wants, hyung.” Daniel smiles and rubs the back of Seongwoo’s hand with his thumb. “What can I say? I’m an idiot.”

For the last time, Daniel wraps his arms around Seongwoo.

A painful goodbye.

“I hope you find happiness with him, hyung.”

* * *

 

Seongwoo doesn’t come to class on Friday. He spends the entire day curled in his sheets, eyes heavily bagged from crying until sunlight starts to flood his room.

He doesn’t answer any of the calls and messages from his friends, throwing his phone under the bed when the incessant buzzing doesn’t stop. For once he’s thankful Minhyun’s not home. At least he wouldn’t witness how much of a wreck Seongwoo is right now.

He forgets to eat, but his body doesn’t even protest. It seems his body has adapted to the sadness that has been consuming him from the inside.

When night comes, Seongwoo only manages to splash his face with cold water. He doesn’t meet his own eyes in the mirror. He knows without looking that he looks like an absolute mess right now.

He crawls back to bed and drifts into a dreamless sleep.

 

Seongwoo manages to drag himself out of bed on Saturday. Finally has the energy to prepare himself some toast and water his throat with a warm cup of milk.

After breakfast, he goes to retrieve his phone under the bed. The battery’s dead, so Seongwoo grabs his charger and leaves his phone to charge in the living room.

After showering, he entertains himself by binge watching series he wanted to catch up on. Times slips away fast that way, and before Seongwoo realizes, it’s already past 9 p.m.

His stomach grumbles, reminding him he just had his bread and milk for breakfast and nothing more. He crawls out of his cave once more to venture into the kitchen, poking his head into the fridge but only to be disappointed to find nothing.

In the end he decides to take a trip to the nearest convenience store and goes back to his room to get his jacket. On the way to the door he remembers his phone on the coffee table, obviously still attached to the wire. He smacks the side of his head for forgetting to unplug it before it’s overcharged. Luckily nothing major happened, just his phone a little warmer than usual.

When his phone powers back, he’s greeted with a string of text messages from Minki.

**choiren**

jonGHYUN BROUGHT A DATE

 

**choiren**

WYF

 

**choiren**

WTF

 

**choiren**

And its not minhyun!!!

 

**choiren**

Someone pretty but still!!! Not minhyun!!! I thought they were getting back tgt wtaf

 

**choiren**

Our efforts gone to waste. Damn it kim onibugi

 

 

Seongwoo scans the messages again.

_What?_

How is this possible—isn’t Jonghyun getting back with Minhyun?

Wait, maybe Minki is just overreacting. Maybe it’s just Jonghyun’s friend—

 

**choiren**

tf they’re holding hands and giggly????? I’M PUKING

 

_No._

_No. Jonghyun’s not..Jonghyun has someone else?_

_But what about—_

“Minhyun.”

Seongwoo’s body is on autopilot when he dashes out of the door, now an entirely different destination in mind.

 

Maybe it’s time to clear off the clouds that’s been fogging his way to Minhyun all this time.

* * *

 

Seongwoo bursts through Minki’s front door, breathless and hair a little disheveled. The music blares loudly but Seongwoo couldn’t hear anything else over the sound of his own heart thumping wildly.

He scans the crowd to look for any familiar face and for once, the universe abides his side. His eyes meet Jonghyun’s across the living room and his feet immediately carries him across the room to meet the other.

“Seongwoo!” Jonghyun steadies Seongwoo by the arm when the latter almost falls against him. “Are you okay?”

“Minhyun,” Seongwoo tries to speak as loud as he could over the music, “Minhyun, have you seen him?”

“Y-Yeah, but are you—” he’s cut off when Seongwoo asks him _where_ , frantically. “Up in the balcony, with Jaehwan.”

“Thanks, Jong.”

Jonghyun wasn’t even able to form a reply before Seongwoo’s sprinting again, upstairs to where it would finally lead him to Minhyun.

Jonghyun could only smile and pray things will finally turn right for those two tonight.

 

 

“Jaehwan-ah, stop drinking. That’s enough for tonight.” Minhyun has to bodily fight Jaehwan to snatch the bottle from the other. Jaehwan is way past drunk, he is smashed. If not for Minhyun supporting him by the arm, Jaehwan’s face would have long greeted the floor in a sweet kiss.

“Minhyun, let’s get wasted tonight!” Jaehwan throws an arm around Minhyun’s neck and the latter struggles for nth time to break free. “That way we can forget the pain that’s eating us away, right?”

One thing about Jaehwan being smashed is he also doesn’t have any inhibitions about pouring his heart out. Which is a very, very dangerous thing.

Minhyun manages to escape from Jaehwan’s death grip and the latter wobbles on his feet with Minhyun no longer steadying him by the arm.

“You need to sleep.” Minhyun knocks the back of Jaehwan's head who’s now leaning against the railing of the balcony.

“Damn—you think if I get drunk enough I’ll have the courage to confess to Sungwoonie?” Jaehwan slurs, Minhyun’s cheeks becoming a captive of Jaehwan’s palms when the younger launches himself to Minhyun.

“My cute cloud, I love you. I love you so much.”

“Alright, you’re way past your limit.” Minhyun flicks him hard on the forehead and Jaehwan weakly falls on his butt.

But Jaehwan is relentless, raising a fist in the air. “Hey! Maybe alcohol can give us the courage we need!” He crawls his way towards the container beside him and digs for another bottle, thrusting it to Minhyun’s direction. “Go on, drink! That way you can confess to Seongwoo too! How you have been pathetically in love with him the past two years!”

Minhyun only shakes his head as Jaehwan giggles.

But it dies down abruptly with Jaehwan’s heavy eyes snapping wide open at the sight of the person standing by the door.

“Oh, Seongwoo! You’re here! Hi! Great timing!”

Minhyun snaps his head to the direction—mortified—and god, Seongwoo is really there.

He’s heard. Fuck, he’s heard it.

“Did you know this pathetic man over here,” Jaehwan miraculously manages to pull himself up, slinging an arm around Minhyun. But this time, Minhyun is too stupefied to even make an attempt to shrug him off, “has been pathetically in love with you for the past two years?”

Seongwoo’s wide eyes land on Minhyun, staying there as if he’s magnetically pulled.

Minhyun’s hands start to feel clammy despite the coldness of the night.

“It’s sad, really. He was already in love with you even when he was with Jonghyunie.”

Minhyun feels his heart jump to his throat “Jaehwan—” He clamps a hand over the younger’s mouth but the little devil manages to wobble his way out of Minhyun’s hold and walks with his crossed legs towards Seongwoo instead.

“But worst is,” he whispers, leaning onto Seongwoo, “he never had the guts to confess to you! Man, did you know he suffered alot seeing you with Daniel?”

“Seongwoo? Did you find—”

Jonghyun steps in just in time and Minhyun praises the heaven for the intervention.

Jonghyun, though, seems to have gotten a whiff of the tension and looks at Minhyun and Seongwoo cautiously.

Minhyun strides to pick Jaehwan off of Seongwoo and drags him to where Jonghyun stands.

“Hyun-ah, can you please handle Jaehwan for me?”

“O-okay.” Jonghyun has no choice but to say yes with the way Minhyun is already pushing Jaehwan’s almost lifeless body against his.

Minhyun exits hurriedly, quick steps carry him out of the premises. He searches for his car among the ones lining down Minki’s street. When he spots his car, he jogs towards it and quickly settles himself in the driver’s seat.

What he does not expect, though, is for the door to the passenger’s seat to swing open and Seongwoo sliding in to settle himself beside him.

Minhyun’s eyes are wide in disbelief while Seongwoo buckles himself. When he’s done, he meets Minhyun’s eyes with a pointed glare.

“Start the car.”

Seongwoo’s words are authoritative and Minhyun finds himself obeying.

“Why didn’t you tell me.”

It’s not a question. It’s a demanding, accusative statement.

Minhyun looks to his side for a split second, catching Seongwoo who’s now got his arms crossed against his chest.

“We’re best friends, Seongwoo.” He starts, voice a little croaky. “You can’t expect me to tell you so easily.”

“Still, you should have told me.”

A laugh of disbelief passes through Minhyun’s mouth. His grip on the wheel tightening.

“What did you want me to say,” he does not intend for his tone to come out harsh but fuck everything, if tonight is the night then Minhyun’s no longer holding back. “Hey, I know we’re best friends, but I want you in so many different ways, is that it?"

“Fuck you, Minhyun.” Seongwoo unfurls his arms and turns his body towards Minhyun. He’s shaking, terribly so, and he almost screams the following words. “Why couldn’t you have just said it to me directly! It would have saved us all the trouble!”

Everything be damned.

Minhyun gives his response in an equally raised voice.

“Why, are you going to say you like me too?”

“Fuck!” Seongwoo is close to ripping his hair off, “Yes!”

 

Minhyun swears his heart stopped beating.

 

The car slows down as Minhyun steps on the break slowly, a stark contrast from the way his heart is thundering against his ribcage, beating a hundred miles per hour.

“Yes, I would have.” Seongwoo says, chest heaving up and down.

“I like you, too, you idiot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to the people who always cheer on me on twitter and cc, thank you so much! you guys don't know how much i appreciate each of your efforts ;;;;


	12. stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are things really worth holding onto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is 99% fluff. but we all deserve this after all,,that pain.  
> warning: SO CRINGEY, FINGER?TOE CURLING CHEESE AHEAD

“I like you, you idiot.”

 

Minhyun feels desensitized—like being thrown in the middle of the ocean, feeling the water seep into his skin, filling up lungs—he cannot breathe. But at the same time, he can feel the pounding of his heart and the rushing of blood to his ears. Seongwoo’s words continue to ring but his mind refuses to comprehend, and so he does the only thing he thinks is reasonable at the moment: deflect.

“You don’t mean that.” Minhyun says, pain manifesting in the way his voice shakes.

His hands tighten around the wheel as he reminds himself to breathe, inhaling shakily and holding it in. His mind whirs when he finally exhales.

“What—Did you even hear—”

“You don’t know what you’re saying.” Minhyun gathers the will to look at Seongwoo, fixing his eyes at him pointedly, “You’re only saying that out of pity now that you know I have feelings for you.”

Seongwoo mouth slackens in disbelief. “I can’t—what the fuck, you don’t actually believe me?”

Minhyun doesn’t answer and opts to stare outside.

The night is no longer young and the streets are dead—there’s not a single soul out here except for the two of them and it heightens Minhyun’s senses. With every rustle the other makes, Minhyun has half an instinct to jump out of the car and just flee.

“Hwang Minhyun,” Seongwoo calls after a good minute of silence, “I like you.”

Seongwoo sounded so sure, determined. He said it with all honesty in the world and Minhyun’s hands shake at the sheer power those words have over him.

Minhyun squeezes his eyes shut as he battles against himself.

_He doesn’t mean it. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He hasn’t bat a lash on you for the past two years and what could’ve changed? Don’t be pathetic and fall into this._

His reply comes in a defeated whisper, “Don’t say that.”

Desperation laces his voice. Desperation for closure, desperation for peace. Minhyun tried—is still trying—to pick himself up after Seongwoo. But these words are knocking all the walls and melting all the resolve Minhyun thought he has already established.

“Please don’t say things that will make me hope.” He gulps. His throat itches painfully as he utters the following words, “I’m tired, Seongwoo.”

The air stills and the silence stretches. Minhyun no longer knows how to continue from here on, so he chooses to keep mum and sit idly on his chair.

He hears the click of the seatbelt unbuckling and the subsequently opening of the door from Seongwoo’s side. From his periphery, he sees Seongwoo rounding the car. He casts his eyes down his lap, a breath of exhale passing through his lips at the thought of Seongwoo ending the confrontation by walking away—but his breath gets caught in his throat when the door to his side opens, revealing a mildly irritated Seongwoo.

“Move over.” He commands.

“What are you doing?”

Seongwoo pushes on Minhyun’s side and the latter finds himself with no choice but to heed the other’s words, moving to the passenger’s seat defeatedly.

Once Minhyun is seated, Seongwoo enters the car and leans over to buckle Minhyun in. He backs away to do the same to himself and drives the car back to the lane.

“What are you doing?” Minhyun repeats, eyeing Seongwoo warily.

“Driving us home,” he sighs, “So I can kiss some sense into you.”

 

When the car rolls into their complex, Seongwoo pulls Minhyun out of the car with strong fingers curling around his wrist. Impatience oozes from the way Seongwoo taps his foot as he waits for the elevator to arrive; from the way he fumbles with his keys with one hand, refusing to let go Minhyun with his other; and from the way he grumbles under his breath when his shaky hand misses the key hole a few times.

Minhyun remains passive, letting himself get dragged until Seongwoo deposits him on the couch. Seongwoo kneels before him, bracing his hands on Minhyun’s knees before taking in a deep breath.

“Minhyun, I like you.” Minhyun’s mind is screaming, telling him to run away, but Seongwoo’s hands on his knees grounds him. “Please believe me when I say this because I feel like my heart’s about to burst—I like you,  _you_ , not Daniel, not anyone else, but you—and I’m sorry it took so long, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to see for the past two years. I’m an idiot, I’m an idiot for hurting you. I’m stupid for misunderstanding a lot of things—honestly, I’m too hard to love—I’m stubborn, I’m a coward, I talk too much, think so little—but you see past through all of that. I’m difficult but,” Seongwoo’s breath hitches and his eyes start to burn.

“But you stayed, you chose to hold on.” Seongwoo lowers his head, eyes falling on Minhyun’s hands sitting idly on the side. He reaches and laces them with his. “So please, tell me you haven’t given up. Tell me you’re still holding on. Please.”

The fear in Seongwoo’s voice shakes Minhyun to the core. Never has he seen Seongwoo so desperate like this. He feels winded—his mind still hasn’t caught up with the words Seongwoo has said.

He reminds himself to breathe again, to steady himself, to stop his hands from shaking—but when he opens his eyes and it falls on their linked fingers, it’s then that he notices it’s not only him that’s shaking. Seongwoo is, too. He’s holding onto Minhyun like his life depends on it—like it’s all or nothing—and Minhyun feels it, feels Seongwoo’s desperation slowly breaking through him and bringing back the feelings he has tried (and failed) to suppress growing once more.

Slowly, Minhyun brings a hand to run down Seongwoo’s cheek to his jaw. Seongwoo raises his head, his eyes watery, sparkling with hope and anxiety at the same time. Minhyun drinks in the sight—it feels surreal—years of pining and cruel hope and—here they are.

Maybe this time, the universe will finally allow Minhyun to have his happiness.

“This feels surreal.” he whispers, tenderly caressing Seongwoo’s cheek. “Tell me, Seongwoo, is this a dream?”

Seongwoo catches his hand and raises on his knees to bring himself closer to Minhyun.

“Kiss me to tell if it is.”

Minhyun meets him halfway in a kiss that tastes nothing short of a sweet reward. He basks in the warmth Seongwoo’s hands cupping his cheeks offer, relishes in the sweetness of the kiss his lips have been craving. Seongwoo pulls him closer until they’re pressed flush, and Minhyun wants nothing but to carve in his memory how Seongwoo looks beautiful with his eyes closed and his long lashes fanning his cheeks.

“It’s not a dream,” Seongwoo whispers before kissing him again, “not a dream.”

Minhyun lets himself believe this time, pulling Seongwoo up so the other falls on his lap. He is quick to cup the back of Seongwoo’s neck to bring him down for another kiss. Seongwoo meets him eagerly, pressing his lips full against Minhyun as the latter tries to map the skin of Seongwoo’s hips with the pads of his fingers.

“Finally.” He whispers against Seongwoo’s lips, letting a smile freely bloom on his lips.

This time, they let themselves fall.

* * *

 

The thing about being mutually in love with your best friend is it changes everything and nothing at all. They still bicker over the same petty things, fights over who he gets to shower first or what movie to watch. But the mutuality also brings with it some privilege: kissing and hugging Seongwoo whenever he wants, as much as he wants, without having to hold back any longer.

Seongwoo could still be the stubborn little shit that he is sometimes, but at least Minhyun could now validly steal his words in a kiss. Catching Seongwoo off guard and stealing his breath in sneaky kisses are one of the pleasures Minhyun would trade nothing in the world.

They stumble back into their routines: Seongwoo rushing for his morning classes and Minhyun laughing at him over his cup of morning coffee; Saturday nights are for movie marathons again, and Sunday morning are for waffle breakfast at the café they frequent down the block. Although now, despite Seongwoo scrambling to get to class in the morning, he doesn’t leave without a kiss on Minhyun’s cheek. And by the end of the day, Seongwoo comes home to the comfort of Minhyun’s arms in a warm hug.

Things feel like they’ve finally found their place.

 

 

November passes in a blink and suddenly it’s a week before their winter break already. Minki calls for the long overdue “Jonghyun instigation” night out with the guys.

The table looks fuller with the addition of the small guy pressed against Jonghyun. His cheeks heavily tinted pink with Minki shooting them questions in rifle speed.

They learn his name to be Park Jihoon, a first year theatre student transferring to Jonghyun’s university this semester. They met back when Jonghyun took a break in Gangneung; with Jonghyun frequenting the animal center Jihoon is volunteering to. They also learned that Jihoon transferring to Seoul was also a surprise to Jonghyun. But when Minki finally asks them  _the question_ , they both just duck their heads, same color painting their cheeks. The gang already knows what the real deal is between the two.

“God, I can’t believe—Jonghyun you didn’t even warn us!” Minki’s tone is accusing, his finger jabbing Jonghyun on the side. “I even worked on a plan to get you back with—” Minki’s eyes drift to Minhyun’s who eyed him warily. Minki thankfully holds himself back. “—Yeah, tell us if you’re in a relationship already! Don’t be like Sewoon and Youngmin.”

The mentioned two make an indignant noise from their seats but it’s soon lost in the sea of laughter that erupts in the table.

Minhyun looks over at Jonghyun and the latter turns his head in time to catch Minhyun’s eyes. They share a meaningful look and they both know the door has finally been closed. Now they’re ready to open another one, with the right persons beside them this time.

“Same goes to you, Minhyun.” Minki pipes, a shot glass close to his lips. “Tell us if you have somebody, too, alright?”

Beyond Minki’s slurred words and hooded eyes, Minhyun knows Minki only means well with his words. He throws him a quick nod, a smile tugging at his lips. “Will do.”

His eyes fall on the man sitting beside him when he feels warm fingers slotting themselves in the spaces between his own. Seongwoo locks them securely, tenderly, and smiles that one smile that gives him all the reassurance he needs.

He holds on tight.

* * *

  

Minhyun wakes up feeling awfully warm and almost pressed against the wall. He feels something against his back and turns to find the something—is rather someone. Seongwoo has sneaked his way to Minhyun’s bed once again. It’s becoming a usual thing for Minhyun—waking up with Seongwoo’s arm over his waist or with a tuft of hair under his chin from where Seongwoo has tucked himself in.

Minhyun slowly maneuvers himself around, removing Seongwoo’s arm over his middle slowly so as not to awaken the other man. Seongwoo mumbles something in his sleep and Minhyun stifles a laugh with the pillow beneath his head. When Seongwoo’s breathing evens out and Minhyun’s sure he’s fallen back to sleep, Minhyun allows himself to stare. He drinks up the image of Seongwoo sleeping, his face peaceful and lips parted in small, even huffs. 

A sigh escapes his lips as he adjusts himself closer to Seongwoo, close enough that has Seongwoo’s soft exhales fanning his cheek warmly.  _This_ , Minhyun thinks, the serenity that covers them both in this quiet night, is enough for Minhyun to leave everything that has happened in the past. The past has now winded into a ball of gray that Minhyun is more than willing to let go. Now that he’s more than assured he’ll be facing a new dawn with Seongwoo tucked safely beside him.

It seems only yesterday when the realization of him falling in love with Seongwoo has hit him like a train. It came out of nowhere, hitting him at full speed and leaving him no chance to escape nor recover.

They are the exact opposites.

Whereas Minhyun is well-organized and clean as a white canvass, Seongwoo is a tornado of chaos and disorder. Whereas Minhyun is well-planned thoughts and carefully crafted judgments, Seongwoo is intuitive, reckless, and indecisive. But Minhyun later learns that Seongwoo’s more than just a cause of headache, more than just being at the receiving end of his endless naggings.

Seongwoo is a breath of fresh air in Minhyun’s boring, suffocating life.

Whenever Minhyun’s driving himself hard to the ground and on the verge of breaking himself again, Seongwoo’s always there to remind him to breathe.

Maybe this, Minhyun realizes, is the reason why he’s fallen in the first place.

 

The triggering moment, he thinks, was during their first serious fight as friends. It was over a petty thing, honestly. Seongwoo, the ever stubborn, gave him the cold shoulder after Minhyun told him he wouldn’t be pushing through with the birthday trip they have been planning for reasons Seongwoo refused to listen to. It was childish and Minhyun didn't want to tolerate Seongwoo’s selfish tendencies, and so he ended up giving the other a cold shoulder too. They didn't speak with each other for an entire week before Youngmin decided to intervene. Things worsened when they started throwing words indirectly at each all the while facing each other. It spiraled with Seongwoo almost screaming at Minhyun’s face and Minhyun eventually walking out.

He did not come back to his dorm room until it’s late in the evening. He spent a few hours walking aimlessly to cool is mind off.

What surprised him upon coming home, though, was too see Seongwoo sitting on the floor by his door. At the sound of footsteps, Seongwoo perks up from the floor, eyes widening as it falls upon Minhyun.

“You’re okay.” Seongwoo whispers mostly to himself, relief and disbelief mixed in his voice.

Minhyun shifts awkwardly on his feet, tugging at the straps of his bag. “Am I not supposed to be?”

Seongwoo’s reply comes in a crushing hug, one that almost knocks Minhyun down to the floor from the sheer force of Seongwoo’s chest meeting his.

Seongwoo buries his face at the nook of Minhyun’s neck, and when Minhyun’s arms come to wrap themselves around Seongwoo’s, it’s only then he realizes his friend was shaking.

“What’s wrong?”

“I thought something happened you.”

“What do you mean?”

Seongwoo shakily disentangles himself from Minhyun. “There was an accident, not big but still. It was the bus you always took when you go home. And it happened just minutes after you stormed out, I thought you were—I was scared—my calls weren’t—”

“Hey,” Minhyun pulls his friend back to the embrace, running a palm across his back to calm him. “I’m here. I’m okay. I turned my phone off to clear my mind, I’m sorry.”

“I was scared.” Seongwoo said when he’s finally calmed down and they’re sitting side by side on Minhyun’s couch. “I was scared if something really did happen to you and the last thing we did was fight. I’d never forgive myself.”

“But nothing happened, okay?”

“Still.” Seongwoo bites on his lower lip, a tell-tale sign he’s feeling guilty. “I’m sorry, for being childish this whole week.”

“That you were,” Minhyun says almost immediately. It earns him a glare from Seongwoo.

His friend rolls his eyes at him and Minhyun lets the laugh spill from his lips this time.

“Yeah, okay. I’m sorry.” Seongwoo says softly and leans to plant his head on Minhyun’s shoulder. “Let’s not fight again like this, please?”

In an odd twist of fate, something churns inside of Minhyun. Suddenly, the scent of Seongwoo’s shower gel is overpowering, assaulting his nostrils. The way Seongwoo’s hair tickles his neck makes his insides squirm. Minhyun doesn’t know if this was what people meant about having butterflies in their stomach—but how is it he’s feeling this way towards his best friend, of all people? More importantly when he’s currently dating someone?

 

Two weeks later, Jonghyun enlightens him with a sad smile that he is in fact, in love with Seongwoo and not him. Jonghyun tells him he acts different, smiles different whenever he’s with Seongwoo than with him.

It was then Minhyun learns that love and being in love are two different things. Being in love is a concept one can easily fall into, with whomever, whenever. But love could only pertain to one person. And for the years to come, Minhyun learns love will only mean Seongwoo.

* * *

 

“I can take the subway, you know?”

Seongwoo covers a yawn with the back of his hand, eyes closing as he does, but continues walking towards the car. Minhyun eyes him worriedly at the side.

“Can you even drive?” Minhyun asks even if he’s already sliding to the passenger seat, “You don’t look awake enough.”

“I’m fine. Stop worrying, it’s just a 20 minute drive to the station.”

Minhyun resigns with a sigh, motioning at Seongwoo’s slightly unkempt hair as the other backs the car out of the parking space. In the end, Minhyun finds himself taming Seongwoo’s bed hair with his own hand. Seongwoo rewards him with a kittenish smile.

 

“What time does your train arrive?”

“9:05.”

Seongwoo checks his watch,  _just in time_.

The train arrives and Minhyun rises on his feet, Seongwoo following suit. The door opens and some of the passengers file out while others stand closely at the side in wait to enter the carriage.

Minhyun grips on his hand bag and turns to Seongwoo, a smile etched on his face. “I’ll see you after a week?”

“Yeah,” Seongwoo replies with a smile, tucking a hand into his pocket. “Don’t miss me too much.”

Minhyun snorts at Seongwoo’s smile and flicks the other’s temple playfully. “You wish.”

Minhyun allows himself to drink at the sight of Seongwoo’s smiling face for one short second before walking away.

He’s only taken three steps away when Seongwoo calls his name, his breath stolen as soon as he turns around in a kiss with warm hands encasing his cheeks.

Seongwoo kisses him with such force Minhyun is sure he’ll feel it lingering on his lips the whole week. His free hand comes to rest at the small of Seongwoo’s back, tilting his head to kiss Seongwoo deeper, kiss him better. When they part, Seongwoo whispers against his lips the following words sweetly,

“See you in a week.”

Minhyun enters the carriage light headed, chest constricting with the thousands of butterflies rumbling inside of him.

 

They call each other every night for the whole duration of Minhyun being at Busan. Seongwoo whines about his sister being annoying and Minhyun tells him to behave himself. Minhyun tells him about how his younger cousins almost run the house down with all their teenage antics and Seongwoo guffaws over the receiver, teases him about being old and his inability to have fun with the younger ones.

At the end of every call, Minhyun doesn’t miss the lilt in Seongwoo voice when he tells him good night. He never says good bye, only  _see you soons_  and it gives Minhyun’s heart a sense of peace. The thought of Seongwoo waiting for him back in Seoul makes him sleep better at night.

 

* * *

 

On the last afternoon of Minhyun’s stay in his hometown, he goes out for a stroll with his younger cousin, Jinyoung. It’s nice to see not much has changed. Busan still emits a sense of familiarity Minhyun is more than happy to come home to everytime.

They just exited a café after filling their stomachs with pastries, Jinyoung telling Minhyun he would like to check out a few shops before heading back. They’re heading to the music store Jinyoung half drags Minhyun to when his eyes catch a familiar face from ahead, walking alone.

He pulls softly at his younger cousin’s arm and the latter peers at him.

“Jinyoung-ah, can you go ahead without me? I just need to do something.”

“Oh, is it important? We can go there instead, hyung.”

“It’s okay, I can go alone.” He ruffles the younger’s hair and nudges him to enter the store. “Pick those you want. I’ll pay for it later, okay?”

The younger smiles glees and bounces his way in, waving happily at Minhyun. Once Jinyoung disappears beyond the door, Minhyun turns to scan the streets for the familiar face once more—he’s in front of a clothing store not too far away—Minhyun jogs his way to him.

When he’s only a meter away, he clamps a hesitant hand over the person’s shoulder. The other turns around instinctively, surprise etched on his face.

“Oh, Minhyun hyung.”

“Hey, Dan.” Minhyun’s smile is tight and so is his chest feeling suddenly. “Do you have time for coffee?”

 

 

“How have you been?”

“I’m good, hyung. We haven’t seen each other in a while, haven’t we?”

The waiter arrives and places their drinks. Daniel immediately sips on his strawberry smoothie, a content smile curling on his lips as the flavor mingles with his taste buds. Minhyun allows himself to smile, too, while looking at the younger.

“Yeah, it’s been a while.”

When Daniel’s had his fill of first sip, he leans back against the chair and arranges his coat. He fixes his warm eyes on Minhyun.

“How are you and Seongwoo hyung?”

Minhyun’s heart beats in staccatos inside his chest. “We-we’re good.” He clears his throat and adjusts himself on the seat. “Daniel, I’m—”

“Hyung if you wanted to talk to me to apologize, then I’m going to get ahead and tell you you don’t have to.”

Minhyun finds himself at loss for words. Daniel eyes him with no hint of hate or betrayal—those gentle eyes are only giving him kindness Minhyun isn’t sure he’s allowed to receive.

“I mean it, hyung. You don’t have to feel guilty. I kind of..known all along.”

“What-what do you mean?”

“There was always a part of me that knows I’ll never win Seongwoo hyung over you, best friend or not.” Daniel slots his fingers together and he leans against the table, licking his lips as he continues, “I kind of known Seongwoo hyung had feelings for you, maybe I even noticed it first before himself. I tried passing it off as a common thing between you two as best friends, but there are things you can’t simply turn a bind eye on.” He laughs, eyes filled with barely covered sadness and Minhyun’s stomach curls in guilt at the sight.

“Seongwoo cares differently for you. I’ve been there when he almost drove himself nuts when he told me you’re reconnecting with a past lover. Anybody could tell his reaction was beyond for just a friend. He was frantic, and almost felt threatened. I knew then that he felt jealous, felt threatened that he would lose you, as a friend or something more. All those things just point to one common end, he wanted you for himself.”

Hearing these directly from Daniel makes him feel worse. No matter how the younger may have told him not to feel guilty, knowing that Daniel have felt and shouldered such pain for a time now, makes Minhyun want to wallow in guilt. For such a good person, Daniel deserves better than fate’s cruel game.

“I don’t know what to say,” he croaks, “I’m sorry, Daniel.”

“I told you, hyung. You don’t have to say sorry to me. I knew what I was up for when I entered it.” Daniel sighs, throwing his head back to momentarily stare at the ceiling. “I knew I could get hurt, but I’m a hardhead who chose to stay ‘til the end was served up to my face. But you know, the heart wants what it wants.”

Minhyun chooses not to reply, he is at the point where he no longer has words to offer. What can he do when he knows he’s one of the cause behind Daniel’s sad smile?

“Hyung, I just want to know one thing.”

Minhyun strips his eyes from his lap to meet Daniel’s, “What is it?”

“Do you love him?”

Minhyun fights the bile down his throat. He quells his rapidly beating heart and answers Daniel’s question with conviction.

“I do.”

Daniel smiles, relieved.

“That’s all I need to hear.”

* * *

 

When Minhyun steps out of the platform, he’s surprised to see Seongwoo among the throng of people, waving happily at him. Minhyun’s feet are quick to carry him towards Seongwoo. He doesn’t need a mirror to confirm his smile reaches his ears when they’re finally standing before each other.

“Hey,” he says, a little breathless, “What are you doing here?”

“Fetching you?” Seongwoo answers, linking their hands together and pulling Minhyun with him.

A laugh rumbles at the back of his throat and Minhyun lets himself be dragged, bounce in his step as he hears Seongwoo's laugh mixing with his own.

_Maybe this is what it feels like coming home._

 

“Seongwoo, home is that way.” Minhyun says, a little bewildered as Seongwoo takes a turn away from the route to their apartment.

“Who said we’re going home?” Seongwoo raises a brow at him, grinning.

Minhyun’s mouth  _o’s_  but he doesn’t prod further, lets Seongwoo take them wherever he plans to.

Soon enough Minhyun recognizes the road they’re taking. They passed the pizza place Minhyun remembers so well and eventually the car revs up to an all-too-familiar hill.

They’re back at the very place where they got their hearts broken a little over a month ago. Dusk has just fallen and the city lights start blinking to life, blanketing the city below in a soft glow. Seongwoo turns off the engine and silence blankets the confines of the car. Minhyun could hear the steady beating of his heart over the quiet, but for once, his mind isn’t in a chaos to find the words to fill in the void.

He breaks the silence minutes later, when his hand has found its way to hold Seongwoo’s over the gearstick. They look ahead, bathing in the twinkling city lights below and the stars above that are finding their place in early evening sky.

“Why did you bring us here?”

“Last time we went here, things turned for the worse,” Seongwoo says, thumb pressing tenderly against Minhyun’s hand, “I wanted to erase that memory and replace it with a new one. A better one.”

As soon as Seongwoo speaks the last word, their eyes meet in purpose.

“Would you let me?”

“Of course.”

Seongwoo lets out a long breath, one he’s been holding in for a while. “What are we now, Minhyun?”

A grin curls in Minhyun’s lips, tauntingly, as he asks back, “What do you want us to be?”

Seongwoo jabs him with a finger on the side, hard, and Minhyun yelps in surprise.

“Hey, I beat you into confessing already!” Seongwoo says accusingly, his cheeks are starting to color and his mouth forming into a pout. “You should be the one asking this.”

Minhyun’s laugh is lighthearted, a laugh he hasn’t had for a while. With Seongwoo’s hand securely in his, Minhyun finally feels the burden being lifted off his shoulders.

“Okay then,” he says through a smile, making a poor job at concealing his giddiness, “Seongwoo, would you please be mine?”

Seongwoo bites on his bottom lip and squeezes their hands together. His answer comes in the form of a kiss—a crashing one—with Minhyun’s back hitting against the door to accommodate Seongwoo’s sudden weight over him when the other decides to throw himself to Minhyun.

Minhyun laughs against his lips and kisses back, just as fervently, fiercely; kisses him with an amount of passion stemming from two years of holding back; translating the words he never got to say in the way he ardently presses their lips together.

The noises that spill from Seongwoo’s mouth fills Minhyun’s chest, gripping at his heart and rendering him weak. They part with Seongwoo’s head falling on Minhyun’s shoulder. Minhyun brings him closer, hugs him tighter, and lets himself drown in the warmth and scent that is distinctly Seongwoo.

“So, is that a yes?” He whispers against the delicate shell of Seongwoo’s ear. He feels the other shiver as it reverberates in his own body.

“If it wasn’t obvious enough,” Seongwoo laughs against his neck before raising himself to face Minhyun, “yes, you idiot.”

They kiss, again, and it feels perfect.

 

Later, when the night deepens and the sky is but a mirror of the twinkling city lights below, Minhyun pulls Seongwoo out of the car to enjoy the cold December breeze. Their hands remain connected and their shoulders pressed together. Minhyun honestly couldn’t ask for anything more than this.

“Min?"

“Hm?”

“Thank you for holding on.”

Minhyun smiles, bringing their laced hands to his lips to kiss the back of Seongwoo’s hand.

“You’re worth the wait.”

Seongwoo lets go of his hand only to wrap his arms around Minhyun, burying his face against Minhyun’s neck and sighing contentedly.

Amidst the cold breeze, Minhyun buries his nose against the crown of Seongwoo’s head and whispers the three words he has long held back.

“I love you.”

He says it in a hush but Seongwoo catches it nonetheless. He pulls away to stare at Minhyun’s face.

Minhyun smiles, sheepish. “You don’t have to say it back now. I can wait.”

“Idiot.” Seongwoo brings their foreheads together, a big smile on his face. “You don’t have to wait anymore.”

Minhyun loses himself in the depth of Seongwoo’s eyes, drowns himself in the warmth of Seongwoo’s hands when it encases his cheeks once more.

His world stops when Seongwoo’s says it, voice soft and sincere.

“I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> extra chap ahead!


	13. x

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this just an extra, last chapter is chapter 12 :)

“Hey, we should change the contact names.”

Seongwoo brings it up on a Sunday night, when they have chosen to neglect their piling coursework over another marathon of Transformers. He brings it up nonchalantly and Minhyun indulges him, picking up his own phone from the coffee table.

“I kind of liked your contact name in mine though, _insufferable_ , pretty accurate.”

That earns Minhyun a smack on his thigh and Seongwoo snatching the phone from his hand while he screeches in pain.

“Yeah sure, _emperor ugly_.” He tosses Minhyun his own phone and goes to scroll for his contact information on his boyfriend’s phone.

“Oh, one rule. We’re not allowed to check it until one calls the other, okay?”

“What? Surprise element? Are we kids?”

That earns him another smack, but now he retaliates by slapping Seongwoo’s thigh.

Seongwoo yelps in pain and throws the phone dangerously close to his face. Minhyun fortunately avoids it and proceeds to cackle while registering his new contact name in Seongwoo’s phone. When he’s done, he tosses Seongwoo’s phone to the sofa and goes to tackle Seongwoo down.

The battle ends with Minhyun getting a bruise on his arm from where Seongwoo has bitten him.

 

The next day, Minhyun’s phone rings just in time he walks out of the lecture hall. He sighs in relief, _what if his phone rang while in class_? He makes a mental note to switch his phone off before entering his next class—but the sigh is replaced by a full laugh, one that's pulled from deep within him. His laugh is loud enough to echo in the empty hallway.

He reads the name flashing across the screen again, the laughter continuing to spill from his mouth.

He swipes to accept the call.

“Seriously, _ice cream?_ ”

Seongwoo laughs on the other line, “Hello, _marshmallow_ baby.”

“Hey, I entered marshmallow only!”

Minhyun doesn’t need to see to know Seongwoo is rolling his eyes.

“Whatever, I call you what I want. Marshmallow baby.”

“You always have it your way.” Minhyun answers, adjusting the strap of his bag. “Anyway, don’t you have class?”

“I’m on my way, just wanted to call you.”

“Uh-huh,” Minhyun teases, but Seongwoo oddly doesn’t retort.

“Min?”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

Even if this isn’t the first time he’s heard it from Seongwoo, they don’t actually say it often to each other. And so hearing those words from Seongwoo always render Minhyun weak to the knees and breathless each time.

“I know.”

“Bastard, you’re supposed to say it back.”

Minhyun laughs, shaking his head silly as the butterflies start to rumble in his chest again.

“I love you, Seongwoo.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it has been a ride! thank you to everyone who followed this fic! i hope you had loads of fun! writing this was fun, although tiring at times. i have to admit writing chaptered fics is a weakness of mine (i tend to forget a lot of things along the way dfsgsglfldf), coupled with the fact the last creative writing training i took up was back in grade school xD
> 
> but still, thank you to everyone who managed to bear this mess! met loads of great people through this fic <3  
> again, thank you!  
> until next time! :)

**Author's Note:**

> talk to me on twt! @kmjnghynjr


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